If you’ve ever thought, “Ohmygod, I wish I could just get married/become a nun so I’d never have to go on another date again,” datingisweird.com is for you.
Or, you know, if you’re so happily engaged in a healthy relationship like I am but want to silently scorn single people, it’s also for you.
And it just so happens that they’re unexpectedly (and totally without payment) featuring a recent post of mine today! Yes, you’ve already read it here if you’re a good boy or girl, but it’s important that I drive a lot of traffic to the site so they have to take back all of the mean things they said about me in the introduction.
First, Joe Satriani accused Coldplay of ripping off his 2004 song “If I Could Fly”:
Now Cat Stevens (er, um, Yusuf Islam) is accusing them of stealing from his 1973 song “Foreigner Suite”:
And suddenly Brooklyn band Creaky Boards claims that their 2008 song “The Songs I Didn’t Write” was also copied by Coldplay . . . even though their albums came out at the same time. And seriously, when you straight up tell everyone that you didn’t write the song IN ITS TITLE, I don’t think you have a leg to stand on in the courtroom.
The fact that Cat Stevens evidently didn’t think Satriani himself was worth suing when his song came out four whole years before Coldplay’s interests me, though. If I was Satriani, I’d be super-offended.
Busy actually working at work, busy enjoying Kamran’s two-week break from law school before summer semester starts, busy savoring fancy dinners, busy not reading your blog . . .
So tell me what’s going on! Or just force me to cozy up with my Google Reader this weekend.
A couple months back, Dr. Boyfriend and I were headed downtown on the M15 bus, which is perpetually crowded during going-out times despite it being articulated, meaning that’s it’s hooked to a second bus with this accordion-like segment to make it doubly long. The entire back row of the second half happened to look empty, though, so I made my way back and sat down.
Only upon sitting, I noticed a transient-looking fellow with wild hair and ripped clothes lying across half of the row, but I decided to play it cool. Because as I told you, I try not to overreact about homeless and obviously insane people like most people do. But Kamran took one look at the guy and made me move, mouthing to me as he pulled my arm, What are you thinking?! What I was thinking was that no one pulls any kind of crazy killing shenanigans on public transportation. Because evidently things like the Canada Greyhound beheading only stick with me for a day or two.
But then this crazy panhandler had to go and stab a cop of all people in a subway station. And now every time I tip a mariachi band on the subway, I’m going to wonder if they’re concealing sharpened screwdrivers in the pockets of their ponchos.
I’m a member of the online dating site OkCupid.com in the hope that when Dr. Boyfriend and I break up some day, you’ll look me up on there and woo me hardcore. Due to the fact that I’m not supposed to appeal to anyone in my current state of relationshipness, I’ve agreed to not change my horrible photos and to fill my profile with totally unattractive drivel such as:
Nobody’s really just looking for friends and activity partners on here, right? But I am! Seriously! And just think of all the activities we can engage in! That don’t in any way involve our genitals! Except, like, if we specifically decide to engage in genital-related non-sexual activities! Like by joining a nudist colony and shaving our genitals! Together! To get to know each other a little better! And to have the best-looking genitals in the entire colony!
AND YET. I receive messages all of the time from men who make me feel sad for people who are actually looking for dates. Such as this one, from a user in his 50s:
I used to live in Brookyn, in the Bushwick area. I thought I would write and get to know you. I notice you say about joining a nude club and shaving each other’s genitals. I would love to do that with you. Or at least to join a nude club together. I would love to smell your vagina too. I am sure it smells sweet!!
I mean, thank you and all, but no. I think the rule should be that if you wouldn’t walk up to me in a bar and say it to my face, you shouldn’t say it online, either.
And now you should tell me about the even awesomer messages you’ve received.
I'm Katie, a farmgirl originally from Ohio who moved to NYC in 2005 for no apparent reason. I like vintage-looking things that are actually new, filagree everything, people who don't make me feel awkward, meaning it when I say "no sleep till Brooklyn", and not trying too hard.
