Guess whose fake-birthday party was Friday night.
NOT YOURS!
Guess who was drunk?
EVERYONE! But especially:
LaChantee!
Jack!
Kamran, who describes this picture as “good sweaty”!
Emily, Beth, and Jessica!
Bridgette, who doesn’t actually drink much and therefore still manages to look pretty!
Owen-who-is-Australian-and-therefore-always-looks-like-this!
Jeff, who looks way badasser in this hat than Jack does!
Jessica’s friend Alex–yeah, the one making the face–who luckily doesn’t know me and won’t know to give me a hard time about posting this!
Chris, who humped Jessica’s friend Alex all night!
of course, Sonya!
but most of all me! So much so that I apparently talked about it all night! That must have been really fun for everyone else, eh?!
Preeeeeeeeeetty much the best time ever. And all in fake-honor of me.
This is how I feel right now.
Luckily, tomorrow night is my dance-a-thon fake-birthday party with all of my co-workers, and I’m pumped to see someone get down in a way so awful we’ll all still remember it come Monday morning. And I’m expecting that that person to be me.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, my friend Sonya and I are off to buy some gold lamé tights for the occasion.
If you’re already searching Google, you should be doing it via swagbucks.com, a site that uses Google technology to deliver your results but also gives you points that you can redeem for Amazon gift cards, iTunes credits, Starbucks coffee, and a whole lotta other jazz.
I figure that I might as well being getting paid for doing what I already do, so I downloaded the toolbar to put the search bar right in my browser window at all times. The only drawback I’ve found so far is that it only retrieves the first four pages of Google results, but as my best friend said when she signed up, “I’m anything but thorough with my searches.”
Apparently I get points when you get points if I refer you, so use my link and help us both win. But mostly just me.
Maybe you weren’t affected by this, since you’re obviously not some midwestern fashion victim who’d be caught dead in Crocs, but I’m not embarrassed to say that I bought the Athens last year on a whim at one of the retail kiosks in Grand Central, and it turned out to be the most incredible footwear purchase of my life. Yeah, they’re too clunky to wear with skirts, but they look fine with jeans, and my feet feel like they’re on clouds when I’m in them.
HOWEVER, soon after I fell in love with my Crocs, I heard some talk of people building up static and getting shocked while in them, especially at hospitals. But since I make it a point to avoid the sick and the frail, I went right on wearing mine. Later, I heard about people having problems with them getting stuck in escalators but assumed it was a myth until Dr. Boyfriend and I trudged up a stopped escalator at Port Authority and saw that the reason it had halted was
a stuck croc!
A child’s Croc, no less. But as luck would have it, I’m not a complete retard and will continue to wear my Crocs flip-flops with abandon. ‘Cause if they’re good enough for G.W. Bush and an oddly pigeon-toed Nicholson, they’re good enough for me.
My dear Dr. Boyfriend has a series of uplifting catchphrases, my favourites being “everything’s coming up Kamran” and “it’s your world, squirrel”. For my birthday today, he sent me this:
And while I have no idea who invited the guy in the cowboy hat to my party, I appreciate the sentiment.
But I’ll tell you what–it’s rough having a birthday when you’re lactose intolerant. As you may remember, I’ve been working on becoming lactose tolerant, and while I do believe I’m making strides, what’s coming out of my bum today smells nasty. I keep running out of the bathroom as soon as I’m finished, because I don’t want to hang around and have to explain to my co-workers who weren’t in New Orleans with me this week, “I’m lactose intolerant, but there was an ice cream bar at lunch yesterday, and what was I supposed to do?! It’s my goddamned birthday!”
