Tag Archives: living in new york sucks so hard

Haters Keep Hatin’

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The first time I saw Kamran’s apartment building, I’ll admit I was wooed. It looked like a castle on the outside and was filled with fresh flowers and gleaming chandeliers on the inside. One my friends recently said it seems like Harry Potter would live there.

After more than three years of visiting it, though, I’ve gotten used to it and its doormen, porters, and nice-men-who-pick-up-the-recycling-from-the-trash-room. Which is why I thought it was a pretty big deal when Kamran got an e-mail from the building saying they were going on strike if their union didn’t reach an agreement with the local apartment building owners.

But they did, and they didn’t go on strike, and I was a little offended by the piece in the New York Times about it:

A strike would have disrupted the daily routines of hundreds of thousands of middle-class residents from upper Broadway to Brownsville, as well as affluent owners of Park Avenue penthouses. Along with picket lines in front of many of their homes, they would be confronted with the loss of the people who sign for their packages, carry their luggage and let the pizza deliverers and dog walkers into the building.

I’m totally not wrong in thinking that’s written facetiously, right? MY DINNER AND PACKAGES ARE IMPORTANT!! Not the dogs, though.

Colbert + Hipsters 4-Eva

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Guess who isn’t filling out the census. Everyone in my neighborhood!

And Colbert did a segment about it:

Isn’t irony adorable?

New York Lies

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If I could sum New York City up in one photo, this would be it:

It’s the most nondescript café: “a scoop of cottage cheese” on the menu, a few food inspection violations every year, a single review on urbanspoon.com. And yet, you’ll notice that their sign says:

I’ll bet.

Deep Thoughts

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Sometimes when it’s really nasty outside–raining so hard I’m soaked to the thigh in seconds, snowing so much that people are literally cross-country skiing down the streets–I think to myself, “Is it worth it to jump out in front of this cab right now just to be able to stay home from work tomorrow?”

My Head Hurts

Filed under living in new york sucks so hard, why i'm better than everyone else
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If your business is on a high-traffic area of 14th Street, at what point after you realize your sign says saloon instead of salon do you have it remade?

Oh, wait, the sign also sayswalk-in’s welcome” and “we specialize in heena tattoos”?

No, no, wait, I’m sorry, it actually says “heena tattooes“?

Nevermind.