Kamran’s been in California visiting his parents since February 16th. I stayed at his apartment by myself for a couple of days, because:

1) studio apartments make me feel safe and cozy
2) I can be naked as much as I want to there
3) he left me a refrigerator full of food
4) his DVR is full of 14 episodes of “House Hunters” at a time for me
5) I’m there so much that it feels more familiar than my own apartment

But on that Saturday afternoon after he left, I finally convinced myself I should go hang out with my roommate and enjoy the things my apartment offers that Kamran’s doesn’t. And then I never left. Here’s what I did during those two and a half weeks in Brooklyn:

1) ate at the first Shake Shack in Brooklyn three times: once with just my roommate, once with our friends Eric and Christine, and once with our friends Jeff and Chris

2) made two of the cutest dresses using the easiest tutorial ever, which I’ll share with you once I can convince myself to take the necessary step-by-step pictures

3) shopped at my incredible grocery store with all of its super-gourmet ingredients at non-Manhattan prices

4) chopped vegetables on my immense counter space and actually enjoyed it

5) ordered my first slow-cooker and used it to make some

6) ate pizza three times: at Don Antonio with my friends Henry and Lucy, at Forcella with my friends Meredith and Jordan, and at home by myself with the free pizza Papa John’s gave out after the Super Bowl (yes, I’m a Papa Rewards member and proud of it)

7) took pictures of the sunset off the roof of my building:

8) ate enough bánh mì from Hanco’s to hold me over for the year

9) watched seasons 1 and 2 of “Friday Night Lights” on Netflix with my roommate, who’s seeing it for the first time, and dyyyyyyyyyying all over again at how wonderful it is

10) watched season 2 of “Downton Abbey” and married Mr. Bates fifteen times in my mind

11) stored low-carb ice cream in my full-size freezer and ate it leisurely like a normal person who doesn’t have to use not having a freezer as an excuse to eat a whole pint at a time

12) washed dishes in my dishwasher instead of leaving them in the sink for days and hoping the cockroaches will lick them clean. and then dry them. and put them away for me.

13) showered and pooped whenever I wanted to in my own bathroom that I share with no one

14) went to the Brooklyn Museum with my roommate and our friends Ash and Chris and met up with my friend Dayna, my best friend’s college roommate of four years, who works at the Columbus art museum and was in town to see how the Brooklyn Museum does their free First Saturdays program

this thing was amaaaaaazing, and we got yelled at for taking pictures of it

this piece included a video of a girl lifting these boxes onto the shelves;
they were apparently heavy from the way she struggled with them

is it just me, or are these two poops with legs?

15) had lunch at Angelo Sosa’s Social Eatz with my long-longtime blogfriend, Amy, who was in town for an art conference and talked about how we didn’t understand why everyone hated Beverly on this season of “Top Chef”

16) slept diagonally on my memory foam mattress whenever I felt like it

17) woke up an hour and a half later than usual, because I wasn’t going to the gym and I live one subway stop from my office

18) wore all of the clothes that never see any action since they’re stored at my apartment

19) accidentally farted in bed, quickly looked over to see if Kamran had heard it, realized there was no one there, and let it ride

20) spent hours on the phone with Kamran planning all of the great things we’re going to do when he gets back home

And now he IS back home, and we’re about to kill this city.

Kill it, I say.