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Hot Dead Guy: John Steinbeck (and How He Embarrassed Me for Life)

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My friend Noel Cordle, a gloriously personal (but not nearly prolific enough) blogger, has a series of posts called Hot Dead Guys. This morning, as I turned off my Kindle on the train and the random author screensaver image appeared, I thought about how John Steinbeck could totally be one of her guys.

It also brought to mind this story:

In 10th grade, my honors English class read The Grapes of Wrath, and although I can’t really remember my feelings toward the book at the time, I now look back at it with this haze of sentimentality. What I do remember was that while tooling around on the Internet one night while we were reading it, I found a Rage Against the Machine song called “The Ghost of Tom Joad” and printed out the lyrics to read to the class. I didn’t know at the time that it was a remake of a Bruce Springsteen song, and I can only imagine what my teacher was listening to at the time, so no one mentioned it.

When my teacher asked what sort of music Rage Against the Machine was, I said, “Heavy metal rap?”, and immediately and simultaneously, my two best friends, whose respect and acceptance I craved more than anyone’s in the world, both looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “NO.”

I still carry that with me. And still think I’m right, of course.

Jesus, Please Hear My Prayers for an Amazon Kindle, and Please Ignore the Fact that I Call Myself “Very Not” Religious in My Facebook Profile

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I really need an Amazon Kindle. I’m not messing around anymore.

I took this book, Not That Kind of Girl by Carlene Bauer, out of the library that was supposed to be a really well-written girl-who-wants-to-love-Jesus-but-also-likes-rock-music-moves-to-NYC story, and I was prepared to love it, because I used to be very torn between Jesus and rock music, and I moved to NYC, but I didn’t find the book particularly well-written after having read Nicole Krauss’ The History of Love, and I didn’t find it particularly interesting. Plus, it was a bulky hardcover, and I don’t carry a bag big enough to for it to fit in, so I kept leaving it at home, and it was going so slowly I thought I might finish my own novel before I finished it.

It finally came due, and I was going to renew it just to slog through some more, but someone else had reserved it. So I decided to give up on it rather than deal with the overdue charges, but as I was riding the subway to return it to the library, I got to a really juicy part about this boy who liked her and whom she liked and how close they got without ever touching one another, but then I was at my station, and I felt like I needed to return the book since I had ridden two whole stops, so I did, and now I’ll never know what happened with that boy.

If I had an Amazon Kindle, this would never happen. I’d be able to read whenever I wanted to, because the smaller Kindle can fit in any bag. My books would never have a due date, so I could spend as much time as I wanted daydreaming about the boys I never touched and not worry about how slowly I was reading. And I’d be saving the trees by not reading physical books. Is that a legitimate reason for having an e-book reader? I have no idea. Anyway, I would.

OH! OH! And if I read more books, maybe I’d have more than eight friends on Shelfari. You can understand how embarrassing that is.

I have an English degree, people! I should be reading more than one book per year.

Oh, hello there.

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I’ve been in Ohio for the past week, visiting my family and friends.

And you?

Candy Corn Fire!

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This stop-motion video is so neat I almost cried over my lack of creativity:

The cutting up the Rubik’s Cube was the part that really got me.

Thanks to Meagan over at Fancy Island for bringing it to my attention. And by “bring it to my attention”, I mean “putting it in her blog with absolutely no specific intention of my seeing it”.

Due to Their Laxative Effects, Please Keep Your Nigroid Consumption to Ten Pellets Per Day

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From the Products That Shouldn’t Exist and the Too Good to Be True files, my boyfriend Kamran brings us


NIGROIDS,

the sweet licorice-flavored expectorant throat lozenge from the folks who brought you


The Cadbury Egg, which usually comes in candy form and not truck form.

There’s absolutely no mention of the name being racially-tied at all, but COME ON. And it’s totally not an antiquated product like you’d think; there are several websites offering them for purchase. Don’t you just love the idea of pulling your tin of breath mints from your pocket in public and asking your friends, “Anyone care for a Nigroid?”

Kamran says that their slogan should be “Nigroid Please”, but even with a catchy jingle, it’d be a hard sell once people find out about the major side effect,


Nigroid teeth.