Category Archives: bigtime celebrity

My Incredible Blog Celebrity Pays Off with a Chance to Gamble Away My Life Savings

Posted by plumpdumpling on January 29, 2010 – 10:00 am
Filed under bigtime celebrity, funner times on the bus
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I know you thought my blogs were totally useless, but because of one of these Internet gems, Greyhound has invited me (and a guest!) to take a trip to Atlantic City today to try out their new fleet of buses equipped with amenities like wi-fi, electrical outlets, and additional legroom that I’ll fill with many bags full of family-sized shampoo bottles and other things I couldn’t bring if I was on a plane.

They’re putting us up in one of the casinos, slathering us in spa services, and hosting a meet-and-greet with other bloggers that they’re calling “Top of the Trop” and which I will hopefully endure the entirety of by tippling champagne with Kamran in a corner. I’m extremely excited, as this will only be the second time I’ve been to a hotel with him in the three and a half years we’ve been dating, if you don’t count all of those initial months when we were meeting up at the Four Seasons every weekend for illicit activities.

Kidding.

Anyway, Greyhound will be taking a look at my Twitter tomorrow to see what sort of nonsense I tweet about my trip (pretty awesome that I broke down and signed up for that jazz a week ago, right?), just to warn you, it may contain nothing but

1) lyrics to “The Wheels on the Bus”,
2) pictures of stupid vanity license plates, and
3) mentions of Kamran accidentally letting out a little pee every time we go over a pothole.

“You Need Some Help”

Posted by plumpdumpling on August 28, 2009 – 1:12 pm
Filed under bigtime celebrity
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In case you’re not already reading datingisweird.com (which is absurd to even consider), you’ll want to check out this post from yesterday.

It’s my assertion that single people are single for a reason but with comments by people who don’t know me and can therefore call me names. If you thought the comments on it here were fun, imagine how much better they are when left entirely by snide single people. Yay!

I mean, not that anyone could beat your comments, you clever, clever darling babies. <3

Where the Streets Have My Name

Posted by plumpdumpling on August 11, 2009 – 9:01 am
Filed under bigtime celebrity, narcissism
Tagged as , ,

I pass these barriers every day after work on my way to Kamran’s apartment, and I never could figure out why they creeped me out until I realized the other day that

ONE OF THEM IS CALLING MY NAME. Albeit backward.

The One That Got Away

Posted by plumpdumpling on May 22, 2009 – 3:46 pm
Filed under bigtime celebrity, jobby jobby job job, living in new york is neat
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I was reading in You Don’t Know Us But . . . this morning that the NBC drama “Kings” was canceled, which probably means nothing to anyone but me but means enough to me to make up for everyone else.

Did I tell you that I was asked to be in that show? Before I had even heard of it, I was called on a Friday afternoon by a casting director and asked to play the part of the mayor’s wife at a shooting in Brooklyn on the following Monday. At the time, I had just started working for the then-president of my company and was so concerned about looking diligent and not skipping work that I decided to politely decline the offer. Because I am an idiot who thinks it’s not cool to actively try to become an actress.

When the ads for the show started appearing all over New York City this spring,

I cringed every time I saw one. I blamed Kamran for everything, really, since when I told him that I’d turned the part down, he Google chatted to me, “Oh honey, you have all kinds of talent and all kinds of opportunities. And you’ve already done a FAMOUS TV show and a major motion picture, so you’ve already cemented your bragging rights, too. I wouldn’t sweat this one little fish.” So instead of calling the casting director right back like I felt I should to say, “Nevermind! I’ve cleared my schedule, and I’m ready for my close-up!”, I just went about my business of conference calls and spreadsheets. (And by that, I of course mean updating my blog and sniffing the Sharpies.)

I never actually watched the show, because naturally I wanted it to fail miserably. The worst possible situation would’ve been for me to not have appeared in it and for it to have become a huge hit. And since I never watched it, I have no idea what the mayor’s wife’s role actually was, but to this day, I swear in my mind that it was a major part with a huge amount of lines and extravagant costumes.

But now the show’s canceled. Just like the show I was actually in. Coincidence?

Dating IS Weird

Posted by plumpdumpling on May 8, 2009 – 2:13 pm
Filed under bigtime celebrity
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If you’ve ever thought, “Ohmygod, I wish I could just get married/become a nun so I’d never have to go on another date again,” datingisweird.com is for you.

Or, you know, if you’re so happily engaged in a healthy relationship like I am but want to silently scorn single people, it’s also for you.

And it just so happens that they’re unexpectedly (and totally without payment) featuring a recent post of mine today! Yes, you’ve already read it here if you’re a good boy or girl, but it’s important that I drive a lot of traffic to the site so they have to take back all of the mean things they said about me in the introduction.

SO GO!