Category Archives: all of my friends are prettier than i am

Sooooo Many Photos of Me and a Boy You Barely Know

Posted by plumpdumpling on November 20, 2008 – 1:28 pm
Filed under all of my friends are prettier than i am, living in new york is neat
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I don’t want to steal all of Aaron the Australian‘s thunder, but if he’s going to choose spending time with the boyfriend he hasn’t seen in a month over posting photos of us, then screw ‘im.


The bull on Wall Street! And us looking super-hot, right?


Me, not afraid to show the heart-wrenching pain I was experiencing at the World Trade Center site.


Aaron on the Staten Island Ferry (post spitting on that guy), sticking his tongue out at our symbol of American freedom.


I wanted to play hand-clapping games with Aaron in the subway but was DISMISSED.


Aaron at the site of the Fat Girls Only chair.


Me in the Former Slaveowners Only chair. Which was right next to the Rosa Parks Only chair.


Aaron and me looking amaaaaazingly cool smoking chocolate cigarettes at my friend Emily’s house party.
Right before we played charades and looked considerably less cool.


Aaron and I kept seeing this ad on subway platforms and wondered if this girl had killed herself out of embarrassment yet.


In case you forgot Aaron’s gay, these photos from the Toys R Us in Times Square should remind you.


Aaron made me take, like, five of these pictures, and this taxi driver got pissed off, because he thought Aaron was trying to hail a cab.


Aaron is making this face because he was trying to pee his pants for lack of being able to find a restroom,
and the stream froze his pants to his legs at this very moment.


Aaron tries his very first Magnolia Cupcake, while I pose with my banana pudding next to the store with the greatest name in history.
Seriously, it’s called PANTS AND . . . !.


Fun times in the NBC Experience store at Rockefeller Center.


Hey, guess who’s NOT ambiguously gay?


The light room at the Top of the Rock, which is probably more interesting than the view of NYC you’re paying $20 for.


Hands!


My elusive roommate, Wen, actually went out to dinner with us one night. Orgies abounded!

There was also a dinner at Serendipity with Kamran one night, which was disappointingly not awkward and which Kamran so generous paid for. And looooooong conversations about why visiting me was inexplicably SO MUCH BETTER than visiting Beth in Chicago recently. And then, with a kiss on the cheek, Aaron left me on Tuesday morning, never to be seen again. Except for when he visits again in a month. Whatever.

Please note that all of these photographs were taken on Aaron’s camera and may not express the views of this blog and its author.

Aaron Spits in the Face of His Fellow Man

Posted by plumpdumpling on November 17, 2008 – 2:46 pm
Filed under all of my friends are prettier than i am, living in new york is neat
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As you may recall, Aaron the Australian is visiting me for the weekend. Not because New York City is a must-see-before-you-die tourist destination but because Katie Ett is one. And while there have been many history-making moments thus far, this has to be my favourite:

So we’re on the Staten Island Ferry, and Aaron decides to spit in the water while I’m preoccupied with picking my nose or something, thinking that spittle will fly straight down despite the fact that we’re in a boat that’s rushing from one island to another. But no! Instead, it of course flew right back toward the man standing two feet behind him. Aaron buried his head in the railing, so I leaned over his shoulder and said, “Sorry! He didn’t know that would happen!” The guy said something back to me that I thought sounded like “that was close” and Aaron thought sounded like “that was gross”. He said it with a smile on his face, though, and didn’t pummel Aaron directly afterward, so I think I’m right.

Although he was probably a tourist from Ohio, and you know that kind just loves to get spit on.

Halloween Costumes for the Win

Posted by plumpdumpling on November 3, 2008 – 7:12 pm
Filed under all of my friends are prettier than i am, holidays don't suck for me
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This is how my Halloween was supposed to go:

Dr. Boyfriend and I faux-carve the letter B onto our faces and give ourselves faux black eyes a la this girl and head to his law school friend’s party down the street. We drink some punch, make a few 9th-Circuit-Court-of-Appeals-related jokes, and head home to stuff ourselves full of candy pumpkins (and maybe some candy corn, even though everyone knows it tastes entirely different) and watch loads of horror movies (but only the cheesy ones from the 80s, ‘cause otherwise I get too scared).

Instead, I went to my friend Emily’s house, where my friend Beth and I helped rip up her Little Red Riding Hood costume and cover it in blood to turn her into Little DEAD Riding Hood:


Reeeeeeeeal scary, huh?

Then a couple of her friends came over, and we all took one look at their costumes and were like, “ . . . ? . . .” But then someone said, “Oh, Royal Tenenbaums!” And it all made sense. The costumes were brilliantly done, actually, even though poor Gwyneth shrank a bit:

Then Emily’s roommate, Michelle, came out in her homemade Geico Gecko costume, and the cuteness wholeheartedly abounded:

We piled into the train at 10 so they could head off to an all-you-can-drink loft party and I could head home to . . . my sleeping boyfriend, who had to be at law school for a seminar at 8 the next morning. LAME! No party, no law jokes, and most importantly, no candy pumpkins! But at least I have this video of Michelle ravaging Emily’s costume with a gigantic kitchen knife that she seems to have absolutely no control over:

Better than all the candy pumpkins in the world.

Yeah, not really.

Fake-Birthday Party Photo Extravaganza!

Posted by plumpdumpling on October 20, 2008 – 3:14 pm
Filed under all of my friends are prettier than i am, holidays don't suck for me, par-tay
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Guess whose fake-birthday party was Friday night.


NOT YOURS!

Guess who was drunk?

EVERYONE! But especially:


LaChantee!


Jack!


Kamran, who describes this picture as “good sweaty”!


Emily, Beth, and Jessica!


Bridgette, who doesn’t actually drink much and therefore still manages to look pretty!


Owen-who-is-Australian-and-therefore-always-looks-like-this!


Jeff, who looks way badasser in this hat than Jack does!


Jessica’s friend Alex–yeah, the one making the face–who luckily doesn’t know me and won’t know to give me a hard time about posting this!


Chris, who humped Jessica’s friend Alex all night!


of course, Sonya!


but most of all me! So much so that I apparently talked about it all night! That must have been really fun for everyone else, eh?!

Preeeeeeeeeetty much the best time ever. And all in fake-honor of me.

My Last Trip to Ohio in Ten Words and Eighty Pictures

Posted by plumpdumpling on September 18, 2008 – 1:30 pm
Filed under all of my friends are prettier than i am, everyone's married but katie, no i really do love ohio
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I’m leaving for a week in my home state of Ohio tomorrow night at 7:45 p.m. To give you an idea of how that might look, here’s some photographic evidence from my last weekend trip back in April:

I went dancing at Skully’s Music-Diner with some of my best old friends from back.in.the.day, including my best best friend, Tracey:

It was totally raining, but we still managed to look TOTALLY BADASS, no?:

Tracey and I attempted boob-touching photos, but people kept trying to cover the camera at the last moment to keep our sin hidden from the world. Still, we’d say we prevailed:

Then I watched my grandmother–who is like the exact opposite of me when it comes to being able to tan, right?–get married in my old hometown church:

and spent some quality time with my family, including my dad–who is a farmer and has an excuse for being creepily tan–:

and my little sister, who let me take lame engagementy photos of her and her fiancee:

Then Tracey and I went to our friend-since-we-were-born Katie’s baby shower and made a mockery of the whole thing by pretending the baby shower was actually for me:

and by possibly making out with her husband:

This time, I have more dancing, my cousin’s wedding, pin-curling my hair with my old college roommate, visiting Katie’s baby, going to as many superstores as I can with Tracey to make up for half a year of shopping in tiny bodegas, and generally thinking about how much more time I’d have to be creative if I lived in Ohio.