Yesterday, I wore the t-shirt my best friend, Tracey, got me for Christmas with the Dharma Initiative logo from “Lost” on it
where the Dharma in the center is replaced with an outline of the state of Ohio, and not a single person so much as commented on it.
Tracey and I both know it’s basically nonsensical, but still. WHY HAVE I CHOSEN ALL THE WRONG FRIENDS?
I know it’s reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal cool and all for Manhattanites to never leave the island, but on the “Millionaire Matchmaker” where the Cute Indie Gay Dude says to the Old Boring Gay Dude in Shorts (OBGDIS), “I live in Greenpoint; do you know where that is?” and it turns out the OBGDIS has never left Chelsea, I want to punch him in his old Botoxed face.
It’s like saying you don’t know where Montana is. It’s like, as Kamran always says, the way people talk about being bad at math like it’s cute or something. But OBGDIS had also never seen “Antiques Roadshow”, so screw ‘im.
I remind myself of this and then go look at the Facebook profiles of all of my now fat, married, and childrened hometown friends every time I find myself complaining about life in NYC.
This video is also amazing but unfortunately has embedding disabled. It shows exactly what it’s like trying to hail a cab in a city where every man is out for himself.
Dear makers of Booty Pop padded underwear,
I feel that I would be remiss in my duties to my loyal readers if I didn’t try your product and post a detailed review here. You know what it was that won me over? The fact that your sizes are listed as Extra Sweet, Sweet, Sweeter, Sweetest, and Super-Sweet.
My boyfriend and I are concerned, based on the commercial, that Booty Pop will make my already-perfect assets look unnatural, but I’m willing to give them a try. You know, in the name of science.
Booty-lovingly yours,
Katie
I’m not alone in thinking that “Deadliest Catch” is the greatest show on television, right? I remember accidentally stumbling onto a marathon of it on the Discovery channel with Kamran one Sunday and being like, “Surely there’s nothing compelling about this show.” And then eight hours later, we were unable to leave the apartment to get dinner because we were too wrapped up in it.
I just love the competition between the captains and imagining how lonely it must be for them as they sit up in the cabin away from the rest of the crew, watching their boats getting trapped in the Arctic ice and watching their deckhands risk their lives just so I can eat some crab. As someone who comes from a farming family, this is the kind of work I respect. I mean, just look at the opening credits. I don’t want you mistaking me for a prissy Bon Jovi fan or anything, but I can’t think of a better song to introduce these guys with. And look how serious they are!
Anyway, I got an e-mail from the Tropicana Casino & Resort in Atlantic City yesterday saying it’s going to have a party for this season’s premiere on April 13th with Russell Newberry from the Time Bandit and the Wizard hosting and signing autographs. There’s also going to be a NASCAR car there, which makes me think that perhaps I’m not the party’s target audience–although it isn’t like I don’t come from NASCAR country originally–but OMG, I have to go to this.
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