I got a letter in the mail from the NYC department of labor recently, telling me that I was to have a mandatory meeting yesterday to discuss my resume. I was a little thrilled by this, because as you know, I’m attempting a transition to copywriting/social media/general web-content-spewer, and I’ve been laboring for the past month about how to best talk about 13 years of being self-appointed Queen o’ the Internet™ on my resume when no one’s technically been paying me for my leadership and benevolent rule.
Figuring that everyone else there would be bums, I put on an adorable summer dress to show that I’m both presentable and spunky, and I didn’t even pair it with flip-flops. I had to spend the workshop’s entire hour and a half reminding myself not to flirt with the young Indian guy who said his most prevalent emotion these days is embarrassment over not being as far along in his career as his friends are, because two unemployed people with the opportunity to eat at Indian lunch buffets every day is bad news.
Overall, the meeting was a huge disappointment, because it was mostly a guy reading a worksheet to the group and telling us that we can’t use the photocopier in the “resource room” to copy entire cookbooks. Even when one of the instructors got to me and asked if I had any questions, her best advice about putting my blogging and social media skillz on my resume was, “Yeah, you could do that.”
But the worst part was knowing that none of my other recently-unemployed friends have been called in for this meeting, which means the City of New York is concerned that I might be at risk for suckling at the sweet, sweet teat of unemployment for the entire 26 weeks I’m allotted if they don’t watch me carefully. And oh, boy, are they right. I’ve been unemployed for just a little over a month, and already it feels so normal to me that it’s not even exciting anymore. The idea that I used to go to bed at midnight to wake up at 7 a.m. instead of watching The Great Gatsby at midnight and then listening to an hour of Kings of Leon while I lazily perform my bedtime routine and then playing Candy Crush for another hour until I pass out and wake up again at 11? THIS IS LIFE. It was always meant to be this way.
Sometimes I find myself in a quiet moment thinking about how I should be really, really scared right now. I don’t have a job, and unemployment here is enough for rent and groceries and absolutely nothing else. I don’t have a boyfriend, and all of my backups are now either married or mad at me for six years of ignoring them. But most of the time, to be honest, I find myself feeling really happy. As I left the meeting today and ducked into a grocery store to grab some guacamole for a party this weekend, I thought about how lucky I am to be out in the city during the day and to have friends who are looking out for me and to ultimately know that things are going to work out for me, because they always do. I know I’m gross.
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Yeah, I definitely never had to have that meeting. Once when I took a vacation in the middle of unemployment (well) they found out and turned me off, though. But then I just had to call them for like an entire day because no one picks up the phone there and explain that I didn’t try to get PAID BY AMERICA for being on vacation, and they were like, “oh, alright, I guess if you fax us a copy of your passport stamps to prove you were only gone 10 days and they match up with the days you didn’t claim, it’s okay” and then they started paying me again. So that was weird.
I also don’t think you should be worried, because you will be fine. But you are totally in the Unemployment Honeymoon Phase, and eventually what that guy said (“embarrassment over not being as far along in his career as his friends are”) hits like a freight train. So I think it’s really good that you’re taking lots of cool Instagram photos and blogging frequently (unlike me, who just watched 4 seasons of Doctor Who and tried to read all the Russian classics but gave up) so at least you’ll feel like you still exist in a couple months if you’re still unemployed.
The bright spot in your unemployment journey (for me, at least) is that you have more time(and perhaps more fodder?) for blogging :-)
Why are you gross?
OMG i just saw that you changed the pictures at the top of your blog and that there’s one of NUNNY! You have elevated her to SUPERSTAR STATUS. She’s on a BLOG on the INTERNET now! Thank you for making my baby into the superstar she is :-)
So, can I go ahead and thank you because I’m assuming you bought the guacamole in order to make MEXICAN CREPES? Or we could be normal and you know, eat it with chips. Or it’s for another party and I just completely embarrassed myself. I prefer #1.
I think the world just conspires to give you awesome things to write about, or you really are the queen of making seemingly mundane stuff interesting/hilarious/dramatic/all of the above.
Also I hate you and your late night movie-watching because nowadays I am a zombie if I don’t fall asleep at 11:00 pm, and usually I still want to do stuff until 1 am. So basically I’m a zombie every single weekday of my life. Just kidding. LoveU4ever.
Even in your hardest times, you still maintain an amazing sense of the positive side of the world – and I admire you so much for it. I feel like you don’t need sympathy because, well, you don’t need it. You ARE going to be okay because I believe genuine people like you deserve at least that. Clearly, there’s not much I can do from my crummy desk here in South Carolina (which my salary is probably less than the average unemployment payment around here), but please know I’m reading and sending lots and LOTS of positive vibes into the Universe on your behalf.
Shopping during the day was my favorite part of maternity leave… and part of the reason I threw a giant temper tantrum when I had to start going about my normal work days again.
I got really used to being unemployed. During the summers, I had a kid to (happily) take care of, but it was pretty sweet when she was in school. I took some online classes, did a lot of exercising, wasting a ton of time on the Internet, and occasionally met friends for lunch (which I could not do often since I did not have much money). Three or four months after I was laid off, I had my high school reunion, and that is when it really bothered me. It took me awhile to come to terms with not really working, other than when I would sub at my kid’s school and do some occasional freelance content work. Unfortunately for me, I got a little too comfortable with that life. And that is why some days, almost five months into my job, which I really, really like, I feel sad and wish I had that hardly working life back. But honestly, 95 percent of the reason is just because I miss my kid.
Fortunately for you (even if you don’t think so) is that you won’t be able to go on like I did for years, so you won’t get terribly comfortable with things. Just enjoy this time while you can. Take advantage of your free time and do things and see people that you cannot regularly, within reason, of course ($).
I do think things have a way of working out. :-)
I know I’m gross, but what are you?!
Wait… no…
I did the going to bed and waking up super late thing for the first few months after I left my job. I eventually realized I could never get all my work done and have a social life since I was working when everyone else wanted to be social, but I miss those days sometimes.
I almost always do my grocery shopping when everyone else is working. I now get super impatient when I have to deal with crowds or traffic.
So I’ve totally been in this situation before — dumped by my b/f (although not quite as amicably as yours) and out of a job — and did not use the opportunity nearly as well as you are. Mainly I spent my unemployed hours not showering and mostly sleeping. Occasionally I sent an angry email. What a waste of time! I could’ve been enjoying the hell out of myself.