I was raining Friday morning, which always adds an extra level of chaos to public transportation. Suddenly there are wet umbrellas to contend with–if not sitting on the seat you’d like to have, then brushing up against your legs as you stand trying desperately (if you’re a decent person) to keep your own umbrella from dripping onto the person sitting in front of you. I let an older lady into the bus ahead of me and followed her to a two-seater that was miraculously empty. She looked around and asked no one in particular, “No one wants to sit here? Is there something wrong with it?” I chuckled and followed her into the seat, and she said, “There’s usually a reason when it’s completely empty.” Thinking of my experience with empty stinking train cars, I nodded in agreement without hesitation.
She told me she usually doesn’t take the bus because it’s slower but wanted to be picked up closer to home because of the rain, and I indulged her chatter briefly but then pulled out my Kindle before she could become too attached and try to show me pictures of her grandkids all the way to work. (It’s happened.) She took the hint and occupied herself with staring out the window. At 14th Street, a woman with two beastly children boarded and sat the kids together in one seat right behind me, which I’m sure was a joy for the person in the other seat right next to them. One of the kids, a girl, was whimpering about someone or something named Tony; in a low moan right next to my ear, she kept repeating, “I want Tooooooooooooooooooony.” And her mother was doing nothing about it.
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In my admittedly limited experience, I have found that it’s actually NOT the crying kid that everybody hates. I mean, kids are kids and they cry. It’s just a fact of life, and almost everybody knows that.
Rather, it’s the parent who’s obviously learned to tune out the crying and completely ignore the kid that everybody hates. A crying kid is annoying; a crying kid with a parent who’s blissfully unconcerned makes people homicidal.
YES! A crying kid is never fun to deal with, but it’s a whole lot less annoying if the parent is actually trying to do something about it.
I agree with this 100%. People usually assume I don’t like kids because I don’t want to have any, but that’s rarely true. I mostly like kids. I detest a lot of (stranger) parents who assume I should adore his/her kid.
Oh my god, don’t get me started on this subject.
Oh, you did already? Sorry. No, not really.
What is up with parents not wanting to parent? I can understand how in the quiet of your own home, if you choose to ignore your child because they’re being ridiculous, that’s one thing. Fine, I do it all the time. But if you’re in public, and you’re making no attempt at all whatsoever to get your kid under control, you m’am, are a turd. I’ve been on planes with little ones and I’ve been on public transportation. It’s stressful enough, I get it. But when one of the kids starts fussing, I at least try to get them to shut up and be respectful.
That said, I also don’t bribe my kids into being good either. I do the death tone whispers in their ears about all the bad things that’ll happen to them if they don’t behave, like no treats, early bedtime or no bike for a week. So I at least make an effort. And clearly, if a parent makes an effort to get their kid to shut their pie hole, then I’m sure the public can respect that. Kids are kids and sometimes they just can’t be contained no matter how hard you try.
I’m not a perfect parent by a long shot, but at least I give a damn.
Though, this peach of a kid sounds old enough to know better. So I applaud you for telling her to stop. Shame on that mom for just sitting there. I’m sure she’s tired. I know the feeling, but gosh, I signed up to be a parent, so I knew it wouldn’t be all rainbows and butterflies.
Rant. Over.
I’m a firm believer in telling kids what to do, regardless of whose they are. In my family, that’s just the way we do it. My niece and nephew know that adults are allowed to tell them what to do. Not that they always listen.
I extend the love beyond my family because I think kids need to know that we’re all watching them, and we’re all aware of them picking up food from the salad bar with their fingers and putting it back. I will tell a kid in the grocery store to stop running, or say “gross” if I see a kid picking his nose in a restaurant. I mean, i don’t yell at them or anything. And half the time they ignore me. But at least I’m doing my part to be the village.
AMEN sister. I’m so glad you’re doing your best to be a part of the village. I can’t stand it when people sit idly by and do nothing.
Also, please don’t offer my kid candy when they’re yelling. What are you teaching them?!
I love this. Yet another reason why we need you to move here: To parent the over-indulged masses. I’m serious.
I do the death glare at the parents. It’s generally at least somewhat effective, because I am terrifying.
I think it kind of bothers my boyfriend – or at least it would bother him if he didn’t realize that if we procreate, he’s basically off the hook when it comes to disciplining children, as I am so obviously cut out for that task.
Also, I’d be scared as shit if you gave me the death glare. For realsies.
And another thing! Raising children in NYC ranks #3 on the list of things that sound sofuckinghard I don’t ever even want to think about doing them.
Amen. I am so thankful for the seclusion of my own vehicle when a tantrum happens. We pissed off plenty of airplanes full of people with an overtired toddler. I did my best to stop it, but sometimes even my best wasn’t enough.
I feel sorry for poor old Tony. I bet he’s a helluva guy.
Happy birthday! You are one helluva guy!
My kickass comment is in your actual piece. Boom!
Kids wouldn’t do this sort of thing, do they?
There must be some kind of mistake.
That second do probably should have been a would.
I DON”T WANT DOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
I WANT WOULD!!!!!