Boy, I’ve been such a bad blogger lately. It seems like there’s more to write about than ever, but I never have the time to write it, and for a few weeks now, I’ve been wondering why. At first, I thought it might be because I’ve been chatting with Cassie nearly every day, all day. Then I thought it might be because I’ve been taking so many pictures and have really been loving the editing process. But then I realized that no, it’s just because I’m a freak who can’t be trusted with the Internet.
It hit me today, when I was trying to pick out matching earrings for my BFF, Tracey, and me. I’m going home for the Circleville Pumpkin Show next month and wanted to make a tradition of bringing pumpkin earrings for Tracey and me to wear on the maaaaany days we’ll go to eat carnival food. So I went to Etsy. And an hour and forty-five minutes later, I emerged with links to about twenty pairs that I like.
(The picture of last’s years earrings is incredibly creepy and 80s, don’t you think?)
And it’s the same with anything Internet-related I do. My cousin’s wife announced recently that she’s selling Scentsy products now, and upon hearing this, I spent an entire day Googling what Scentsy is, whether they’re electric or candle-powered, and what the different kinds of wax tarts are. Then, when I actually decided to buy one, I looked at 90% of the Internet to make sure there wasn’t a non-Scentsy warmer I liked better. Then I checked Etsy to see what kinds of homemade tarts crafters are selling. And then I ultimately bought a Scentsy warmer and tarts, just like I should have done eight hours earlier.
When Clinique recently discontinued the T-Zone Shine Control gel-to-powder stuff I use to keep my nose not-shiny throughout the day, I swear I spent a week Googling replacements and asking for help from Kinard. I ended up at Sephora, where I got samples that didn’t work at all. And then I Googled some more and ended up putting Monistat Chafing Relief Powder-Gel on my face against all of my better sensibilities, but that didn’t work, either. And so I Googled some more and probably joined every makeup review site on the Internet in the process. I still didn’t find what I’m looking for at any of those, so you know I’m going to end up trying bull semen or frog urine or something as I reach farther and farther into the depths of the Internet for suggestions.
I’m not obsessive. I’m just thorough.
16 Comments
I had to google that Monistat stuff, which I was unaware existed. But now that I know it does, I’m probably going to have to spend seventy billion hours figuring out if there is a similar product that does the same thing but is not made by Monistat. In other words, we have a similar problem with the Internet.
One of my friends was over the night the Monistat came in the mail (because nothing exists at NYC drugstores), and I felt like I immediately needed to explain that it was oil-controlling gel and not vag gel in case she saw the “Monistat” on the box and thought badly of my vag.
I’m pretty sure any makeup primer would do the same thing, but it’ll cost a whooooooole lot more than $6 for a giant tube. BUY IT.
I love that Tracey looks like she is creepily sniffing your hair. And I want those earrings. If you find the best pumpkin earrings on the Internet, please do share so I can buy a pair too.
Here’s a link to the earrings I bought last year: http://www.etsy.com/listing/108669630/pumpkin-earrings. They’re definitely the classiest ones I found. And if you buy them, you and Tracey and I can all have matching earrings to wear when we see each other at the Pumpkin Show this year!
I’m pretty sure Tracey WAS sniffing my hair there. And all the time.
I still can’t believe you are continuing to lie about the chafing you had on your face. You know, from the yeast infection.
THESE THINGS WERE TO BE KEPT BETWEEN US.
You basically just described my life when I was still on Facebook. I would sit down to do one quick check and then literally find that two hours had passed and I was cyber-stalking my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend or something. True story.
Isn’t it a funny coincidence that just today two new Scentsy tarts arrived in my mail? Scentsy is the best, but I have to jack my scents off eBay because I have no rep. Will your cousin’s wife be my rep even though I live far away from her?
I won’t do that during the day, but if it’s midnight and I have to be up at 5:45 for the gym, Facebook suddenly has sooooo much to offer. And all of it depresses me, so I’ll stay up all night thinking about it. I know you know what I mean.
Of course you would know about Scentsy! It’s so country homemaker. I ordered my stuff through my cousin’s wife’s store in the link above, and I’m sure she’d love it if you did, too. I can hook you up with her on Facebook, too, if you want to know your rep personally.
Downton is totally #2 on my list after my shiny nose.
I should also have added that you need to quit your internet binges and start, you know, doing stuff for Downton.
Bad Clinique! Did they think that people were just going to NOT have troublesome T-Zones anymore?
Apparently Milk of Magnesia does the same thing the Clinique stuff did. Including turning your nose white if you use too much of it. And you know I’m not above putting laxative on my face.
OHHHH, how I’ve missed reading your blog. For reals. I was totally obsessed with your pumpkin photos from last year and I’m soooooo excited to see the new batch. And for the record, Etsy has become my latest addiction (“But John, I want to support all the little starving artists! Must buy all the things!”).
Aww, thanks! I was so happy when your blog came back to life and so excited by your treasure hunt.
I excuse my Etsy purchases the same way! “Yes, this is 400% more than I would pay in the store, but it’s HANDMADE. And yes, I could make it myself for 400% less, but I WON’T.”
Didn’t Charlie Brown use Monistat to grow a giant pumpkin… or…. something like that?
Yes, and I’ve been known to use Miracle-Gro to keep my yeast infections at bay. Er, to fertilize them.
This is gross. I’m leaving.
Oh, you and The Guy have this in common, and it works out SO WELL for me. I don’t even come CLOSE to having the patience required to research anything, so I hand it off to The Guy, who is more than happy to piddle around on the Internet for six hours to determine which kitchen composter stinks the least or whether or not the hotel we’re staying at on vacation is a shit-hole. Needless to say, his willingness to dive head-first down the World Wide Rabbit Hole makes my life infinitely better.