photo by my friend Anthony
I was complaining to my friend Kim the other day about people who say to me, “I could never live in New York City.” They rarely mean it in an “I’m in awe of how you’ve managed to make so much of yourself and live such an exciting existence in a city that so often leaves lesser humans battered and broken!” sort of way. It’s usually more like, “Sucks that you wanted to make something of yourself, big shot. Now pardon me while I go make a baby quilt in this entire room I have set aside in my huge house just for crafting.”
Kim said that people say that to her all of the time, too, and that her response is: “You probably couldn’t live in New York City.” God bless her.
I’m sure it’s fine wherever you are. Just don’t try to make me feel bad about where I am. Just in case there was any question, here are the top ten reasons I never want to leave NYC:
• Feeling so much safer than I ever did in Ohio. Houses scare me. Big, open roads scare me. Someone is lurking in my bathroom in Ohio, and someone is waiting to throw himself from the forest in front of my car. I figure if I live in an apartment building with thirty floors and ten or so apartments on each floor, there’s very little chance that the psycho rapist who somehow got past the doorman is going to choose my apartment specifically to break into. I can walk home at 5 a.m. alone from watching “Game of Thrones” all night at Ash‘s and feel totally secure. I can also walk home at midnight, 2 a.m. or 4 a.m. It’s always safe.
• Food delivery. It’s not just that nearly every restaurant delivers. It’s that they deliver for free. And that you can place your order online so you don’t have to actually have to speak to a person. And that you can have something from your favourite restaurant on 14th Street delivered to you on 42nd Street, which is considered three neighborhoods away. It’s so easy to have food brought to you that you actively wonder why people bother cooking. But if you want to cook for whatever reason:
• Grocery delivery. There are big warehouses on Long Island full of all kinds of groceries you can’t buy in your small town outside of NYC, and if you order them by midnight, they’ll be at your house before work the next morning. And the local grocery store delivers, too. So does the local bodega. WHY ARE YOU LEAVING YOUR HOUSE?
• Having everything within walking distance. Sometimes, when we’ve run out of toilet paper and Kamran won’t let me flush tissues, and he walks a block down the street to the convenience store that has the toilet paper we like, I think, “Somewhere, someone in Ohio has just had to load up his car and drive twenty minutes to the nearest grocery store for the same thing.” Which brings me to:
• Having a lot of things inside your own apartment building. A gym, a laundry room, a post office, a restaurant, a hair salon, and a convenience store are all in Kamran’s building. (Mine only has a gym and laundry room, BUT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT.) I don’t have to wear shoes to do most of the things I need to do in my life.
• Being able to complain about apartments like this. I don’t want to make fun of anyone, but when I saw a friend of a friend post that photo of her apartment in an attempt to get someone to sublease it, a little of me died. That bedroom has a front door in it. Like, to the outside. And no steps leading up to it. I hate NYC housing aloud, but I secretly admire myself for being able to fit my entire life into a ten-foot-by-ten-foot space. And I would choose a studio apartment over a house any day.
• Having access to the best restaurants in the world. You know how many three-Michelin-star restaurants there are in L.A.? None. In Chicago? One. In San Francisco? Two. In NYC? Seven. (Okay, fine, there are ten in Paris, but France is for weenies.) If you don’t sometimes weep while reading donuts4dinner, you’re probably one of those people who eats for nutrition. Oh, I also have access to some of the best museums, theatre, and nightlife. Sorry.
• Getting totally trashed at those three-star dinners with wine pairings for all sixteen courses and not having to drive home. Not having to drive anywhere ever. Getting to read books on my commute to work. And not having someone read them to me over my car stereo speakers, which is not reading in case no one noticed. I’d rather have a fight with an old lady on the subway every single morning than ever touch a car again.
• “You are from New York. Therefore you are just naturally interesting. It is not up to you to fill all of the pauses. You are not in danger of mortifying yourself. The worst stuff you say sounds better than the best stuff some other people say.” – Hannah, “Girls”
• Waking up every morning and being amazed that you live here and realizing that people all around the world want to be here. People write blog posts about how badly they wish they lived in NYC. People write diary entries about how they’ll make it in NYC someday. And I live here. I want to be here. And I’m making it.
22 Comments
I love city living. I’ve only visited NY but I love the vibe so much and would certainly love living there – though SF will always have my heart. I definitely don’t think city life is for everyone, it intimidates the crap out of people. The boring people of course ;)
Those are all the exact reasons I would love living in a city. I really like aspects of both city and suburban living but if I were to make a list, city would probably win. But I live with a born-and-bred stuck-in-the-burbs boy, so suburbs it is.
That entire episode of Girls was like a love letter to Katie Ett, was it not?
Also, when I say “I couldn’t live in NYC” I mean it in more like the first way. The in awe way. The “I’m afraid I’m too much of a pussy and have too much stuff and too much debt to pay that much rent” way.
One note: I do feel confident that Kim could never live in Aynor, South Carolina, though. Seeing her try would be an EXCELLENT reality show.
You, on the other hand, would probably thrive.
Duh, of course I COULD. I live in New York City; I could live anywhere. I just wouldn’t want to. Which is what most people actually mean when they say they “couldn’t” live in NYC.
But I definitely want to star in my own reality tv show, so I’ll fake it and wear stilettos to a pig roast or whatever it takes.
Respectfully disagree about “could.” Saying you “could” live anywhere (we could all live in a hearse if we had to) is not the same as saying “I could make a life there and not spend all of my time crying my face off about living in Aynor, SC.”
However: Let’s start pitching this reality show. And I believe the term you’re looking for is “pig pickin’.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_pickin‘
That “apartment”…I cannot. In addition to food and grocery delivery you forgot LIQUOR delivery! Amazing.
What I wouldn’t give to never have to drive again.
Now that I’ve left Louisiana, I can say that it has one thing no other state can ever beat — drive thru daiquiris. I miss them. But I probably would miss them a lot less if I lived in a city with liquor delivery.
When I say I could never live in NYC I totally mean it in admiration of you and all you have accomplished. I think you have thicker skin than I ever will, and I admire you for that. That thick skin also looks fabulous thanks to your Chinese makeup vendor, by the way. I will also say that I feel kind of terrified to even visit NYC not because of all the taxis and chaos or whatnot, but because I feel like there is so much to do, and particularly like you said so many wonderful places to eat that I would just waste my visit and not get to it all. And that would make me feel badly about myself. I do long for the days of public transportation, that is for sure. I remember so fondly when I lived in Germany and took the bus everywhere. I absolutely loved it and wish I could live somewhere like that again.
If I ever say to you “I could never live in New York,” I definitely mean that I, my personal self, could not. I don’t mean it disparagingly toward you in any way. I admire you. Even if you said, “Fuck it,” and moved back to Ohio right now, you’ve obviously made a place for yourself in NYC. Even if you’d turned your ass around upon arriving in NYC, it takes a gutsy-as-hell person to do it. I just know that I get panic attacks in Bed Bath & Beyond because their shelves go all the way up the walls; that said, when I was in the VA suburbs of DC, trying to get a job there, it was TOO suburban for me. I live in St. Louis, a small city, in a small suburb, where, yes, I do have to drive, but seriously, everything I need is within a 15-minute drive. BUT, we don’t have an IKEA, and lots of stuff you do. That said, I’m applying to be a teacher at a military base in Europe, soooo… clearly I’m insane.
I absolutely love visiting NYC, but I could never live there. I’m just not a Big City kind of guy. Need my elbow room. And a car. I admire anyone that can thrive, like you can, in a big city environment.
I appreciate what you do. And obviously millions of other Americans also believe strongly in NYC as you do. When people tell me they couldn’t live where I live because of the snow I just smile and say, “Well, good thing you don’t.” I constantly have to hear from my aunt about how stupid I am for living in a place that has four seasons…even though she’s from Minnesota originally.
I love that you love NYC. I’m constantly in awe of you living there. I’d do it. No problem. I’d love to not rely on a car, walk everywhere rain or shine and have my gym be in my building.
So. I hate you. Just a little.
Um, I’ll shut up about the snow and those vomit-inducing mountains you call “hills.”
Considering when I was in H.S. I was sure I’d be on my third or fourth Lambo and living in a penthouse in Manhattan by now I guess you could say I’m a BIT disappointed in myself for not even visiting yet. *sigh* Oh well. I’m sure it’s still gonna’ happen. Really.
I think the #1 reason to live in New York is getting to be there when someone who has moved to New York seeking the fantasyland NYC of movies and the Unapologetically Mundane blog are smacked in the face with the reality that life for most people in New York is nothing like this.
For those of you who have never experienced it, the closest thing I can compare it to is watching a child drop his ice cream cone on the ground before getting to enjoy a single bite. Life affirming and delightful!
I love the reasons you live in NYC and seeing everything from your perspective. Looking from the outside in, all I can see is what Sex in the City wants me to see. No way I could live or afford the life of a fashionista.
But grocery and takeout delivery? Amazing theatre and restaurants? Now that I could handle.
Way to take on the city!
This makes me sooooo happy. And I just need to point out yet again that all those people who “can’t” totally manage to spend the rest of this impossible NYC rent on their 2nd car and 4th guestroom flatscreen tv, so, I remain unmoved.
I do not have all of those things. WHY ARE NEW YORKERS SO FUCKING MEAN
Not mean, just jaded, I believe the term is? Cynical?
But yeah, I was definitely generalizing.
Whatever, at least YOU HAVE TRUE LOVE. STOP SULKING AND MOVE TO NEW YORK ALREADY, ELLIE.
If The Love of My Life dies or dumps me, I’m all over it.
If The Guy ever decides that running off to New York is actually NOT the single most irresponsible thing we could possibly do, well, then, Katie Ett, here we come. That’s distinctly unlikely to happen, but still, the possibility exists. And it simultaneously thrills and terrifies me.
I’m kind of on the fence about living there. There are aspects of it (culture, theatre, restaurants, shopping) that would make me giddy, but there are other parts (crowds, fast pace, public transportation, mean people) that would make me cry in the shower everyday. I’m a highly adaptable creature, but I’m not sure I have New York City in me.
In a weird way, I equate living in New York City with my unfortunately brief but passionate affair with New Orleans, which almost killed me: I finally fall in love and start feeling like I don’t necessarily want to jump off the Lake Pontchartrain Bridge, and a fucking hurricane hits three days later.
I’d love to see a blog post from you about this, and not just because Pontchartrain is one of the best words ever.
I loved reading your list of reasons… it definitely was the right decision for you to live in NYC!
I think I couldn’t live there, but I totally mean it in the admiring-you-way. I’m way too scared of big changes and this would be such a huge change! Plus, I’m so boring that I dream of having the house with craft room.
I love public transportation too… I don’t even have a driver’s license simply because I never needed one.