I’m Totally Not Kidding About Vacationing at the Jersey Shore

Filed under travels

Three times in the past two years, my friends and I rented a Hamptons beach house in a lazy part of town mere steps from the ocean. It was more impressive than any of our wildest dreams had imagined, and it was $900 per night the first two times and then $700 per night the last time because the kitchen cabinets were being worked on and we had to store our food ten feet from the counter instead of three feet. THE TERROR.

This year, I wanted to get an early start on things and wrote to the owners of the house in January to secure it. It was already booked.

Well, no big deal. There are hundreds of houses to rent out there, and maybe we could find an even better one with a hot tub and a pool table and a tennis court for us to admire and never, ever use. I started checking all of usual rental sites and found some really beautiful places right down the street from our usual house.

For $12,000 a week.

Also $20,000 a week.

And yes, $35,000 a week.

But only $110,000 for the month, so no big deal!

So we instead started looking for a house on the . . . dun Dun DUN . . . Jersey shore.

Not this Jersey shore:

Jersey Shore Cast

Deeeeeeeeeefinitely not this Jersey shore:

Jersey Shore Cast

But this one, much, much farther down the shore, so far past even Atlantic City that they actually pronounce it “shore” rather than “show-uh”:

Jersey Shore Collage
photos by 1Avalon1, marc.cappelletti, Wind Watcher, middleda, fotododo, fotododo, 1Avalon1, Wind Watcher

I’m not saying I don’t still secretly hope to see Vinny there, but hopefully the rest of the Guido juicehead gorillas will be farther up the shore.

See you in a week!


  1. Jessica R. says:

    Please tell me you’ll be orange when you get back!

    • katie ett says:

      Oh, my gosh, I hope so. Usually I do something stupid on the first day like walk to the beach without any sunscreen because “I’m just going out for a second” and then spend the entire time sunburned. After three summers, I HOPE I’ve learned my lesson.

  2. Cassie says:

    Two words for you: Cape May.

    Go there next time would ya?

    • katie ett says:

      That’s just South of where we’re going! Someone told us today to go there to see the fireworks on the 4th, so maybe we’ll do that if that’s not the night we GO CLUBBING IN ATLANTIC CITY.

      I just wanted to say “clubbing”.

  3. Megan says:

    So, when are you getting your spray tan and bump-its?

  4. Twelve bucks a week is pretty expensive.
    Oh, wait… there was another zero… too…
    *backs away slowly*
    Run! They ‘knows’ I’m broke!

  5. Lisa says:

    Any place with dolphins is alright with me. Have fun!

  6. Deb K says:

    Are you going to Avalon/Stone Harbor? Stone Harbor is where we started to go many moons ago when our kids were little. If so, go to Uncle Bill’s Pancake House — delicious breakfast. And Springer’s Ice Cream on Third and around 94th St in Stone Harbor. And Quahog’s on 206 97th St, Stone Harbor. The Wetlands Institute is worth going to. And if you’re not going to this beach, then just ignore these suggestions and hope you have a great time!

    • katie ett says:

      I wish I’d seen this comment while we were there! We did go to Avalon, and luckily, we did go to Uncle Bill’s by chance. As we were walking in, these kids coming out said, “Maybe Uncle Bill should spend less on his tile mosaics outside and more on his food!”, so we were a little worried, but chocolate chip peanut butter pancakes–yeeeeeeees. We LOVED the area, so maybe I’ll be able to take your suggestions when we go back next year!

  7. I just hope you took enough Bumpits with you.

  8. Shae says:

    I will be honest. I have never had a desire to vacation in Jersey. I look forward to hearing all about it just because I am sure I will never go myself lol.

    • katie ett says:

      I am totally going to make you change your mind with the awesomeness of this vacation.

  9. Christy says:

    Thank GOD I don’t have cable.

    Hope you’re having an amazing time down the shore!!

    PS: Please please please go to the Borgata Buffet for me.


    • katie ett says:

      We tried to go to the Wild West buffet just because I’d had it before, but it’s no longer there! And then we tried to go to the Borgata buffet because it’s supposed to be the best, but it closed at 9, and we didn’t leave the house until 8:30. BIGTIMELETDOWN!