This morning, a woman ambled out of the bus and onto the sidewalk in front of me without checking to make sure she wasn’t cutting anyone off. I wasn’t in a hurry, but she was walking so-o-o-o-o-o slowly that I couldn’t bear to match her snailish pace. She walked in the middle of the sidewalk, though, not leaving room to pass her on either side. Just as I was stepping off the sidewalk and into the street to get around her, she decided to cross right in the middle of the street, cutting me off again. I was like, “Ohhhhh, no,” and excused myself as I sped around her, hoping she’d notice what a dick she was being but realizing she probably wouldn’t.
And I realized then that that’s the thing I really hate about New York. I can deal with tiny apartments that cost twice what whole houses do elsewhere, and it’s worth it to have to brave subway altercations to not have to drive anywhere, and I’ve learned to cope with having to shop at three different grocery stores because a single one isn’t big enough to carry everything I need.
But I can’t stand feeling like I’m invisible. When that woman stepped in front of me not once but twice, I wanted to yell at her, “DO YOU SEE ME?” When I’m crossing in front of someone and she’s crossing in front of me, and I hang back a second and let her go ahead because she’s wearing some five-inch heels and I realize that my life is much better than hers, and she doesn’t acknowledge me, I want to yell at her, “DO YOU SEE ME?” Or when everyone is waiting in a line to go up the stairs from the subway platform, and one guy comes from the back and cuts right in front of me, I want to tap him on the shoulder and yell at him, “DO YOU SEE ME?”
It’s like the episode of “South Park”, a riff on the movie Manhunter, where the killer ties Cartman to a chair, Clockwork Orange style, and shows the boy a projector slideshow so Cartman can see “all the things he has done”. You think the killer means all of the murders he’s committed, but the slides are all of the man at the Grand Canyon, at Niagara Falls. “DO YOU SEE?” the killer asks as each slide is displayed.
Because my being invisible has to be the reason for these crimes against humanity, right? The only other explanation is that these people somehow think they’re more important than I am, that they have somewhere more pressing to be. And maybe this is why people get mean living here. How many times can someone step in front of you just as the train arrives before you start doing it back?
10 Comments
Ugh. What a pain in the ass. That’s what I love about Pittsburgh is that people here are generally nice.
Don’t become a hardened bitch, OK? Otherwise I’ll unfriend you.
Love you!
Living in the south is more like WHY IS EVERYONE STARING AT ME?
Actually, I have had people state out loud that they “didn’t even see (me) there!” after standing on top of me/pushing me out of the way to get to a subway seat/crashing into me on my way out of a (transparent glass) revolving door/etc on more than one occasion.
Maybe it’s because people here are all too poor for insurance due to those rents you spoke about and haven’t had an eye exam in 20 years or so. OR EVERYONE IS A JERK.
Still better than everywhere else. Always.
People are just clueless out in public, with a limited awareness of what or who is going on around them. I see this every day, walking to and from the subway… people s l o w l y walking down the middle of the sidewalk, people camping right in front of you when waiting for the subway, people walking right up beside someone on the escalator and then just STANDING THERE so no one can get by.
Someday, someone is going to end up on the tracks and I’ll be in jail.
I think we’re just way more aware of our surroundings than the vast majority of the population. But I do think some things should just be common sense, like not walking in the middle of the sidewalk, especially if you’re walking slowly.
U.M?
U.M?
Does anybody see U.M?
;)
Before we moved to Maine, John and I spent roughly 85% of our time together complaining about all of the senseless, rude, and downright awful behaviors going on around us. Human incivility made us angry malcontents. Since moving to Maine, we no longer talk about any of that. In the three years we’ve been here, I feel like I’ve undergone a decompression akin to a deep sea diver being put into one of those crazy tanks. My stress and tension levels have magically melted away. My compassion has grown ever steadily greater, to the point where I now am willing to stop and help anyone if need be. I smile at every stranger I encounter, even when they scowl back. I am a free woman. When people here sometimes complain of traffic, we laugh at them. The evening news has reports of house fires, an occasional burglary, an once in a while some violent act. Back in Philly there was a daily reported body count.
When you ave that many people piled on top of each other, things is bound to get ugly. Keep smiling and remember, Maine is only 6 ours away. :)
what a well-written post. i think you nailed it…people act how they’ve been treated after a while. so maybe it just takes one person to smile and say hello every once in a while???
Love the South Park reference.
People are just out of it and only concerned about themselves.
We still have to deal with old people. They don’t look before they pull out in front of you in their car and then stare around confused when you swerve around them and honk. I hate it. That probably means I would be a terrible New Yorker.