That’ll Teach Me

Filed under narcissism

I’m walking toward Kamran’s apartment and see a man just ahead of me stepping out of his little red sports car. He’s a little too short and squat, patterned scarf tied cunningly at his neck, expensive herringbone coat flapping open, pointed nose, grey hair curling away from his face. He aims his key fob at the car, and the headlights flash to draw attention to themselves.

I decide specifically to ignore him as I pass, even though I know a man with a car like that isn’t interested in curly-haired nerds in their late 20s, anyway. He stares into the window of the store on the corner, and just as I’m steps away, he turns and says, “Hello.” I stop pretending to stare at something off to the right and find he’s smiling. I say too breathlessly, “Hi,” and feel strangely good.

Inside the building, I’m walking to the elevators, and two of the maintenance men are parting ways. One of them looks at me, and I smile. He looks away. Then he looks back again and smiles. Then he waves. I’m friendly with all of the doormen, porters, and maintenance crew in the building, but I’m a little surrprised by the wave.

Still, feeling extra-friendly after my little sports car encounter outside, I beam wildly at him in return. And then he looks past me and says to the old lady at my heels, “Hello! Hope you’re feeling better.”

Bah.

8 Comments

  1. There’s a similar (although much more extreme) scene near the end of ‘Swingers’ … have you seen it?
    :)

  2. Cassie says:

    I HATE when that happens to me. It’s usually when I’m at work and it’s a hot doctor.

  3. Dishy says:

    I hate when this happens. That’s why I do the PREEMPTIVE smile and hello. Hah!

  4. Now you know how I feel every time I set foot outside the South. People look at me like I belong on Hee Haw.

  5. Jessica says:

    Guess you weren’t his type! ;)

  6. Cristy says:

    LOL. I think you should choose to only remember the sports car incident. The other never happened.

  7. Lisa says:

    I just love the word (words? phrase?) “key fob.”

    Can I tell you a secret? People act like that all the time here, and despite being raised in the South, I still feel a little awkward when a stranger is friendly to me. I’m NEVER the first to say hello.

    I’m seriously unqualified to be a Southerner. (I haven’t even planned my wedding yet. And being single is not an appropriate excuse.)