Monthly Archives: May 2011

I Have a New Camera! And Apparently I’m Now a Nikon Person.

Posted by plumpdumpling on May 26, 2011 – 12:05 pm
Filed under narcissism, stuff i like
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Before I bought my Canon S90 a year and a half ago, I thought long and hard about getting a DSLR. On one hand, I knew that a compact camera, all-manual functions and 3200 ISO availability or not, simply wasn’t going to take the best-quality photos because of its tiny lens. But on the other hand, I knew I wasn’t going to lug around four pounds of camera every day, and not having a camera with me at all times is not an option.

So I bought the S90 and have loved every moment with it; it’s forever impressing me with pictures like this and this. But no matter what photographers tell me, I still think owning a really great camera is half the battle, so I wrote $900 into my budget this year for a DSLR and figured I’d be able to afford it after Christmas if I didn’t blow my wad on more cat butt magnets for my cousin.

But then Kamran offered to buy one for me right away! My attachment to my Canon made me think that I was a Canon person, despite having loved a Sony before that and an HP of all things before that, so I almost immediately settled on the Canon EOS Rebel T3i. I read all about the differences between the T2i and T3i, looked at sample pictures from the Canon line, thought about the lenses I’d put on my birthday list this year, and pictured myself having a whole family full of expensiver and expensiver Canon cameras.

But then, on a total whim, I happened to find Snapsort, a site that compares cameras side-by-side. And it turns out that almost everything about the Nikon D5100 beat the Canon. And then I found a site that showed the same scene shot by the two different cameras, and I just plain liked the way the Nikon photos looked more: the colors were more realistic, and everything was just a little more crisp. Every review I read said that the biggest part of being a Canon or a Nikon person was just liking the way one or the other felt in your hands, but since I like the way all cameras feel, I just went for it and asked Kamran to get me the glorious Nikon D5100.

And I love it! I haven’t, you know, taken any actual photos with it yet, but it feels so fine in my hands, like it was molded just for them. Now if only I can get over the fact that Ashton Kutcher is the Nikon spokeman.

Like a Dog, I Only Love You When You Feed Me

Posted by plumpdumpling on May 25, 2011 – 12:00 pm
Filed under creepy boyfriend obsession, it's fun to be fat, living in new york is neat
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Sometimes, I get upset that Kamran really can’t hang with me when it comes to guiltless gluttony. I have wild fantasies about consuming entire Ritter Sport bars in one sitting, of sitting down with a bag of Doritos (Cool Ranch, of course) and just going to town. Meanwhile, Kamran has wild fantasies about lightly-dressed raw greens and filling up on soup so he can just pee it out later and not gain anything. The times I love him least are when he’s denying my request for pizza for the 27th weekend in a row.

And the times I love him the most are when he comes home and asks, “Do you think we could get a reservation for Momofuku Ko tomorrow?” It’s easily his favourite meal we’ve ever had and also easily in my top two. It’s also one of the hardest restaurants to get into; its reservations system comes online at 10 a.m. every morning, and all of the spots are taken ten seconds later.

But I managed to snag one thanks to hundreds of website-refreshings Friday morning, and we went for an amazing 18-part lunch on Saturday. And then we went to the all-French-fry place again and got Vietnamese pineapple mayo topping:

More Food After Momofuku Ko

Then we went to 16 Handles, a frozen yogurt place where you fill you cup with any combination of–wait for it–16 flavors and then cover that with any of about 40 toppings and then pay by the pound. UH-MAZE-ING.

More Food After Momofuku Ko

There are totally two strawberry slices in there, which makes the mini Reese’s cups, crumbled regular-sized Reese’s cups, sprinkles, Cap’n Crunch, caramel sauce, cookie dough, and gummy bears totally fine.

Look how jealous that blurry guy behind us is. (Also, is that Ward Williams or what?)

Point is: if I ever loved Kamran, it was last weekend.

Grappling for the Single Seat

Posted by plumpdumpling on May 19, 2011 – 12:00 pm
Filed under funner times on the bus, living in new york sucks so hard
Tagged as ,

Earlier this week, I told you about the advantages of the single seat behind the driver on the MTA’s fleet of new buses. Now let me tell you what happens when everyone realizes those advantages.

For a while, I really thought I was the only one who even noticed the seat. Most people board the bus through the middle or rear door–to avoid having to say hello to the driver, I assume–so it makes sense that they wouldn’t even be aware of the hidden seat all the way in the front of the bus. Obviously I like sitting there, but I’m also young and healthy and svelte enough to be able to fit comfortably in the too-small seats the rest of the bus boasts, so I tend to leave it for someone who could use the extra room, storage space, and privacy. (That may change as the summer months approach and body odor season is upon us, but as a daily-showerer and deodorant-wearer, my sense of entitlement will be deserved.)

So the other day, I was standing at the bus stop near the marker sign where the driver usually halts. I was playing it cool, standing a couple of feet back from the edge of the sidewalk so I didn’t look too eager, but I had an armful of bags with me that day and secretly planned to nab the single seat. Only when the bus began to pull up, this wild-looking woman came from behind me, where she’d been casually sitting on a bench, hiding her ninja-like seat-stealing skills.

Read about the fight! that ensued here.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly, Incredibly Close

Posted by plumpdumpling on May 18, 2011 – 12:00 pm
Filed under living in new york is neat, narcissism, readin' and writin', stuff i like, there's a difference between films and movies
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I got to Kamran’s apartment after work yesterday to find these signs taped in front of his building:

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close Filming

I know it really steps on a lot of people’s toes to say things like this, but I really feel like Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close means more to me than it does to anyone else.

Okay, maybe it means more to one other person. And maybe it means just as much to you. But it means a lot–a lot–to me.

I read it just after I started working at Barnes & Noble in December of 2005. I had lived here for just over five months and was, as I’ve previously embarrassingly admitted–crying all over the damned city. And of course the book is about walking all over the damned city. I missed my dead mom, and Oscar was trying to find a piece of his dead dad. I knew I was being manipulated by cutesy phrases like heavy boots, but I felt like my own boots were dragging me into the concrete, so I didn’t care.

My then-boyfriend kept asking me why I was reading this book that would make me cry two minutes after I sat down with it, but it was too beautiful to put aside. Ability to produce continual, pathetic tears or not, a well-written book still eases my mind. I haven’t been able to touch it since, and my copy sits on my bookshelf still tabbed with sticky notes on every other page to mark my favourite spots. And I’ll never forget the way the pages leading up to the end just fly by, building up to the climax so much that I felt like I could actually hear a trumpet fanfare in my head. Apparently this is something that happens to me with books I really, really love, because I remember it with my very favourite book, Dandelion Wine, and one of my other Top Fives, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay.

So it seems really meaningful somehow that the movie version of Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close is taping right outside of Kamran’s apartment tomorrow. I feel like I should take off work to watch. I feel like I should have desperately tried to become an extra. I feel like I should rush the set and try to talk about the book with Tom Hanks.

But I doubt it means as much to him as it does to me.

In your FACE, Hanks.

I Would Do Anything for a Free Dinner (Including That)

Posted by plumpdumpling on May 17, 2011 – 12:00 pm
Filed under stuff i hate
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I don’t think I’ve been to see a medical doctor since 1994. That was the last time I can remember seeing the inside of a doctor’s office, and even then, I only went because my appendix had ruptured four days earlier and was filling my body full of toxic gangrene.

So when Kamran started insisting recently that I go see a doctor, I was understandably reticent. I don’t know what happens at the doctor’s office. Do I take my clothes off? Where will they touch me? Should I save up my pee?

See, I’ve been going to the eye doctor and the dentist at regular intervals all along, so there are no surprises during the visit. I know the parts I like (the copious encouraged spitting at the dentist), I know the parts I don’t like (when the eye doctor’s assistant weirdly asks me what my hobbies are for my file and I say, “Eating?”), and I know I won’t have to do it again for a predetermined amount of time. Because nothing’s ever wrong with me at those places.

But all SORTS of stuff could happen at the doctor’s office. And I really don’t believe he can tell me anything I want to know or anything that’s helpful. I’d rather just quietly die of whatever unknown diseases are currently taking hold of me than have to worry about actually treating them. I’d rather think I’m totally fine and then keel over suddenly, and the only way to do that is to continue avoiding the doctor for the rest of my life.

Unfortunately, Kamran is nothing if not supremely manipulative. So when I refused to make an appointment for the 400th time, he announced that he wouldn’t be making any fancy dinner reservations for us until I did. So I said, “Oh, well.”

Then he started saying, “I really feel like going to Degustation for a tasting menu. I wish you’d make an appointment so we could go.” So I said, “I mean . . . I wish I could do that for you, but . . .”

Then he started saying, “I’m going to make a reservation at Eleven Madison Park, and I’m going to go by myself.” Now that we’ve been to Per Se, EMP is my new end-all-be-all of restaurants. So obviously I had to suck it up and go.

Thanks to my friend Ash and her husband, I ended up having a totally non-scary experience that didn’t involve any weird touching but plenty of peeing. Of course, my test results don’t come in for a few days, so that’s when the real fun begins.

And by “fun”, I of course mean “chemo”.