When I was in Ohio at the end of March, I woke up one morning at my best friend, Tracey’s, to find that one of my contacts had ripped. I think I almost willed it to happen, because as I’d been packing for my trip, I’d thought about the fact that I was on my last pair of contacts, hadn’t ordered more, didn’t plan to see my eye doctor while I was home, and wasn’t going to bring my glasses, either. So of course something bad had to happen.
I called up my eye doctor’s office and spoke to his receptionist, whom I’ve known since I started wearing glasses in 7th grade and whom the rest of my family has known even longer. “I’m home visiting from New York,” I said, “and I ripped one of my contacts. If I stop by later today, can I buy a replacement pair off of you?”
She paused for a moment, evidently checking my record. “Sorry, but we really can’t do that. You haven’t been to see the doctor since 2009.”
“I’m desperate here,” I said. “I don’t have another pair, and I didn’t even bring my glasses home. I’m going to be miserable. I’ll do whatever you need me to.”
“Schedule an appointment with the doctor!” she cheerily advised.
They gave me a replacement pair that day, and then Tracey took me in to see the doctor ridiculously early the next morning to have my prescription checked and buy a new batch of lenses. The doctor, as always, scolded me about the fact that I’d managed to stretch a six month supply of contacts into two years’ worth and told me that since it was the beginning of the month then, I just needed to remember to replace my lenses at the beginning of every month.
“Absolutely, doc!” I promised, secretly rolling my eyes.
On Saturday night, Kamran and I went out for a seven-course tasting menu that included NINE DRINKS. Even after not even coming close to finishing all of them, we nevertheless stumbled back to his apartment and literally crashed onto the bed sideways. At 4 a.m., I woke up and realized my contacts were still in. Being the good girl that I am, I down a bunch of water and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take out my contacts. And promptly ripped one of them.
GRR!
I looked all around Kam’s apartment, but of course my new supply of contacts was at my own place, and there was no way I was delaying our Easter Indian buffet plans to go to Brooklyn. So with untamed hair and thick-framed glasses from 2003, I went with him to have some of the best Indian food ever. Except that I was totally miserable, because it was hot outside, and my blood was boiling from the spices, and my hair looked crazy, and my glasses kept slipping down my nose, and I feel half-retarded when I have to move my whole head to see anything to the left or right of me clearly.
So what I’m saying is: god bless all of you glasses-wearers. If you knew how great contacts were, you’d never put up with those things. But you look totally great in them, and I appreciate that you’re willing to sacrifice comfort to look awesome. Especially you, Kamran.
Another thing I’m saying is: I KNOW YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN TO FORCE ME TO CHANGE MY CONTACTS, EYE DOCTOR, AND I WILL FIND A WAY TO SPITE YOU.
27 Comments
I totally feel the same way about glasses! Um, not because I wear them, but because David talks about how much he’d love to get Lasik, and outwardly I’m all, Whatever you like, honey, but on the inside I’m all, But you look so cuuuuuuuuuute in your glasses!
So I’m secretly hoping that we’ll always be too poor for Lasik, so his eyes can be adorably framed forever.
Exactly! Kamran’s never mentioned Lasik, which is weird, because I’ve brought it up for myself with him, never even thinking that he might want it himself. Maybe he’s too worried about accidentally losing his eyesight to ever go through with it, like I am. Or maybe he just sees all the pictures I post of him and thinks to himself, “Damn, Kam. Lookin’ fine.”
But yes, I agree, David looks great in glasses, and you should remind him daily that you wouldn’t love him if he didn’t have them. Boys really respond to that sort of emotional abuse.
Too bad you didn’t have nine drinks at the Indian buffet. That would have totally negated the need to wear any kind of eye wear.
We were talking about that, actually. The idea of drinking, which makes us all warm, coupled with that spicy food, kind of makes us want to die. People around us were doing it, though, and they must have been sweating buckets.
First of all, you have to get DAILY disposable contact lenses! WAY easier to deal with.
I also would not do Lasik because I like wearing my glasses. As nerdy as it is, I feel like it fits me. And it makes the times I wear contacts into a more special occasion. Is turning your head so much of problem? Cause I think cleaning contact lenses, remembering to take them out, scratching your corneas because your eyes are too dry (it happened!) is WAY worse!
I keep the Daily’s around for swimming/outdoor activities and instances where I want to wear eye makeup and if I’m putting the effort in, I want people to see it damn it! :-)
Oh, gosh, the cheapskate in me can’t handle the idea of dailies. I’d end up wearing the same pair for months and giving myself terrifying eye diseases. I think it’s a great idea for you, though, and yes, I do really like you in glasses and admire your head-turning abilities.
I’m also glad you commented today, because I’ve thought several times over the past few weeks–including this morning–about the comment you left on my childhood-book-buying post and how I kind of got overwhelmed by the comments on that one and never responded to any of them despite really appreciating them. I thought, “Maybe I should just go reply to Christine’s comment so she doesn’t think I’m ignorey,” but then I figured other people would wonder about the favoritism. Because obviously I think people base their self-worth on my replies.
That’s what I thought about Daily’s too, but that’s the beauty of it. Since I know I’m going to throw them out everyday, I don’t even keep cases, solution, etc around. Every time I take them off, they go in the trash. I know it sounds a little wasteful, but in reality it’s much cleaner than wearing one pair for months and months (which is what I used to do too).
As soon I wrote that comment, I regretted it cause I saw how many comments you were getting, and I thought that I would TOTALLY be overwhelmed by all that. But I really did like the post, and wanted you to know that.
You never need to worry about being “ignorey” cause your blog (s) are awesome and provide me much entertainment throughout the day, with or without comments!
I remember when I was a kid and I thought it looked like it would be ‘fun’ to need glasses/contacts. *sigh*
Been there, done that… sure I’ll be there again! :)
I used to think that about braces! All of my friends had them, and I thought the different colors of rubber bands looked like such fun. I didn’t care at all what anyone said about them hurting or accidentally cutting their tongues on them or boys not wanting to kiss them. In my mind, they were so cool.
Yeah, I fear the side effects of lasik. Have you seen those people who have to wear onion goggles all the time? Or for whom the whole world looks like it’s on the other side of an aquarium?
Also, I have dark circles under my eyes and the glasses hide them, I think. That’s actually probably the biggest thing. I think I look weird without glasses at this point.
For every person I know who’s had a life-changing Lasik experience, I hear about a friend-of-a-friend who’s now living in 3-inch-thick glasses.
It’s funny you mention the dark circles, because after wearing my glasses for two days, when I finally got ahold of my contacts and changed into them, my undereyes suddenly looked TERRIBLE to me. I’m going to go ahead and claim that glasses actually make dark circles worse.
p.s. I work in a converted attic (when we’re trying to sound chic we call it a loft) and it has these weird ceilings. Yesterday when I hit my head for the 100th time was the first time it occurred to me that I hit my head all the time because I wear glasses and don’t have peripheral vision. I thought I was an idiot.
Thanks Katie!
So, after all that, there’s no photo of you wearing your glasses? Lame!
Oh, Beth, it’s just so awful that I can’t share it publicly. So here’s a link that hopefully no one will see but you.
I saw it! And you’re adorable.
Psh. But thanks, friend. I’m trying to build up my confidence in leaving the house unshowered (I realise that’s kind of a weird goal), so that helps.
You said “makes passes at”. That’s ALMOST about sex. You’re getting closer!
I think my idea of making passes and yours is probably pretty different. But hey, that’s partly why I like you.
Not being able to see without turning your head is something I totally never thought about until we talked about glasses v. contacts while you were home. I’m suddenly thinking about inventing special 360-degree lenses for glasses-wearers. I’m talking full DOMES that cover the eyes entirely and make the wearer look like a bug. That would catch on, right?
Hey, if those wraparound sunglasses that old people wear ON TOP OF their eyeglasses got popular, I truly believe there’s a market for your special domes.
Especially if you market them as allowing you to see 360-degrees, because–and correct me if I’m not thinking correctly here–being able to see 360 degrees would mean seeing behind you or inside your head, right? Impressive.
I love glasses. They instantly make almost anyone look sexier.
Of course I avoid the eye doctor like the plague because I am 29 and have yet to obtain a prescription which means I’m obviously blind and just don’t know it yet and I can’t put things in my eye so I’ll be forced into a life of frames in my peripheral and then I will hate glasses, so, no.
What about these nine drinks?
Of course the nine drinks would bring you out to comment. Yes, Kim, we’d love to have you along for hours and hours of drinking. But I’m sorry, you’ll have to agree to eat some food, too.
I’m glad I was too young and stupid when I got contacts to logically consider the foolishness of sticking my finger in my eye. Worse yet, they start you out with this tiny plunger that you use to push and pull the contacts in and out of your eyes. INSANE. And they’re like, “We know you’re 12 years old, but we just want to warn you that if you mess up and miss the contact and stick the plunger straight onto your eyeball, you’ll probably die. Good luck!”
So yeah, don’t go to the eye doctor.
I just recently switched back to my contacts since I can actually afford them again. Because I wear not just dailies, but the expensive ass HydraClear dailies, because my eyes get too dry and irritated otherwise. On the bright side, since I have no use for solution/contact cases, I can’t possibly forget to change out my contacts.
I had the lenses in my glasses updated a few months ago, and they messed up the frames so they slide down my nose every single time I tilt my head down, even slightly. Some days I like rocking the whole nerdy-chic thing with glasses, but I just can’t put up with the constant nose-sliding.
I’ve never heard anybody else say it, and I’m so glad I’m not the only one:
My vision is much, much worse with my glasses than my contacts. I have NO peripheral vision when I wear my glasses.
I already told The Guy that for my push present, I want LASIK.
super jealous of contact-wearers. i have an astigmatism in both eyes and am far sighted AND have no depth perception, so the prescriptions cancel each other out in contact form so i will never ever wear them. i ask every year when i go see dr wong at lenscrafters, and all they tell me is to eat more walnuts because my eyes are too dry and technology hasn’t advanced far enough to allow me to not wear glasses. this year i started having to wear them all the time, and it’s kind of a huge pain but now that i have cute frames i don’t really mind i guess… you get used to them really. too bad i have to invest in a pair of prescription sunglasses when i go home because it’s probably illegal for me to drive without them… booooo.
I go back and forth with glasses and contacts. Contacts are tough right now in China because of the dry air and grit. I like my glasses, though; I’m nerdy.
I tried contacts once and they were so incredibly awful I’ve sworn them off forever. I could NOT get comfortable. And getting them in and out was akin to torture. My mom swears by them and always has worn contacts for as long as I’ve been alive. She actually accused me once of trying to make myself look ugly by wearing glasses. No I am not joking. Good thing I just LOVE my ugly glasses wearing self! LOL