I was talking to my BFF, Tracey, the other day about the fact that neither of us has ever needed prescription drugs. I asked, “Should we be on drugs for something? Everyone else is!” She replied, “It’s weird enough of us to not be on drugs, but it might be weirder that we’ve never sought mental health treatment in the first place.”
And at first I was like, “Yeah! Weird!” But then I was like, “Wait, no, not weird.” And then I confessed to Tracey that despite pretty terrible things happening to me–like, say, my mom dying of brain cancer when I was a senior in high school–I think I’ve managed to stay awesome because I’ve had her to talk to since we were just wee little lasses. And then she confessed to me that despite pretty terrible things happening to her–like, say, her dad’s brain aneurism, brain tumors, and subsequent lifelong health issues–she thinks she’s managed to stay awesome because she’s had me to talk to, too.
I have a blogfriend whose best friend died a couple of years ago in a horrific and horrifically random shooting, and for a while, her online journal was almost solely about coping with this sudden death and the tremendous life changes it brought. Some of her friends were annoyed by her constantly talking about it and acted like she should move on with her life, but I totally got it. To have a best best friend–not just a good friend but a best friend who knows everything about you and doesn’t need to put you down to make herself feel better and doesn’t try to make you jealous and can handle you practically living with her for two weeks straight during your Christmas visits home–and then to lose that? The pain is almost unimaginable to me.
On the phone yesterday, I asked Tracey not to die, and she agreed to try, but we decided that if either of us does kick the bucket too soon, the other will keep her memory alive in the very best ways.
Tracey says she’ll build a roadside shrine to me (this may only be in the case of death by car crash, but I hope it’s no matter what) with a cross and flowers and all the fixin’s and that she’ll come every day to replenish it with–and I’m not sure what this means–baby doll limbs. Is that a common shrine element? I hope so.
I decided I’ll end every blog post with mention of her passing, but she said she’d actually prefer if I put it in my e-mail signature. So I said I’ll sign every letter, “3/9/11 – Never Forget,” a la all the 9/11 memorial crap. She thought it a little morbid for me to use yesterday’s actual date, but I’m nothing if not totally creepy.
Then we started talking about the “Hoarders” episode where the lady’s brother was a fireman who’d died trying to rescue people from the towers on 9/11, and the pain of losing him was so great that she was over-collecting anything related to 9/11 or NYC in general or patriotism or simply the colors red, white, and blue. We decided that my “Hoarders” episode about all of the Tracey-related paraphernalia I’ve saved over the years would be pretty embarrassing. But her episode about her Katie-related collection would be much, much worse.
Because she has my FINGERNAIL CLIPPINGS!!!
on the subway
pretending to smoke at Pete’s Candy Store and looking so awkward
feeding shaved ice to a gargoyle in the East Village
and then tasting his sweet ice breath
in the changing room at Dylan’s Candy Bar
31 Comments
You forgot about the Web 2.0 shrines we’ll make to each other, complete with animated .gifs and midi music.
Seriously though. Once you’ve made voodoo dolls of your middle school crushes’ girlfriends and buried them in your backyard together, you’re bound by an indestructible bond.
BEST FRIENDS 4-LYFE!
And now, no one else will comment on this post, because they’ll be too weirded out by both of us to ever talk to us again.
You would think! But I totally got 12 comments. Apparently all BFFs really are this freaky. Or they like to think they are. If we actually admitted publicly to half the things we know we’ve done . . .
My midi for you would be Bryan Adams’ “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”.
My midi for you would be “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails.
God, that’s so much better than mine! It nearly made me LOL.
Maybe mine for you should be “Swallowed” and have some lesbian overtones.
No way, man. Yours conjures up memories of Funday Friday in 8th grade choir, which goes back way more than the dance I did for your 18th birthday.
Maybe there can be a whole midi playlist, because “Swallowed” is genius, too.
LOL! The last pic looks like you guys were in the gayest fitting room ever and were debating using the curtains as muu muus.
I understand what you mean about losing a best friend– in many ways, it could be more devastating than losing a boyfriend, because like you two, best friendships can start so early in your life and last for so long, and they do know everything about you.
I am curious though…fingernail clippings? WTF?
Ironically, Tracey and I have often considered living our lives in something like muu muus. We kind of envy people who have let themselves get so fat there’s not really any point in wearing real clothes anymore.
Let’s just say that we both keep lots of mementos to remind us of the great times we’ve had together and that her collection happens to be a bit freakier than mine. I don’t think she has any of my urine, if that helps.
I was totally with you until fingernail clippings. Now I think you two are disgusting freaks.
They’re in a baggie! She never removes them from the baggie! I swear we don’t get them out and chew on them every time I visit or anything!
I got TOTALLY faked out by the last photo!! I was SO PSYCHED – I thought the two of you were enveloped in sheets of rainbow colored taffy — just like the stuff my younger daughter’s friend was eating at the roller rink last weekend. But I can’t even remember the name of it — but it looks JUST like that (only really small).
Darn.
PS: I think your friendship is the most wonderful thing in the world! And the fingernail trimmings may be a bit ‘different’ but I get it. Then again, I am someone who keeps humping animal crackers in their own personal shrine type box. Oh, and my daughters umbilical stumps. (They look like 2 little dried up raisins – so if you ever visit, don’t be fooled and eat them by mistake. That really would be gross.)
Here’s to BFFs!!! YAY!
Mmmm, is that an umbilical stump stew I smell cooking? No? Well, funnily enough, I was reading your food blog post earlier today and was going to leave you a comment about Irish soda bread with raisins (not sure why I haven’t actually left you the comment yet), but now I’m going to be thinking about Irish soda bread with umbilical stumps. Hopefully that’ll wear off before dinner time tonight. Not that your kids’ stumps aren’t the tastiest stumps around, I’m sure.
That’s RIGHT! Tastiest stumps around. LOL
EWWWWW!!
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHH
That’s ok, in 8th grade me and my BFF made up a “Hale-Bopp” club, complete with our own rainbow and alien themed membership cards and paraphernalia. We also have photos with gargoyles…
That’s what BFFs are for, to understand and encourage our oddities.
Wow, that’s so nerdy! But it just goes to show how important friends are. Without your BFF, you would’ve been the lone girl walking around school with your Heaven’s Gate backpack. Because of course I assume it was THAT kind of Hale-Bopp club.
This post made me really happy. I don’t really have anything to say beyond that.
You know, I’m trying to think of a time where you ever responded to one of my posts with a non-supportive comment. (Well, when you’re not trying to convince me how great Chicago is, at least.) What’s wrong with you?! I rely on my friends for bitterness and hateful showboating.
Eh. Whenever I don’t like something (unless it REALLY pisses me off), I tend to simply not comment. So you can simply look at every post on which I did not comment, and feel the SHAME OF MY SILENCE.
At first this made me laugh, but then I realized it’s probably true.
Well, that and when I’m feeling lazy. And I’m often lazy.
When you die, I’m gonna get one of those stickers for my car’s back window that says “RIP Katie Ett” in Olde English font with the date below it. And then I’m going to have your face airbrushed on the back of a denim jacket that’s four sizes too big.
(I want to be a thug so bad. Like, almost more than I want to be a hippie.)
I hope you’ll do the same for me.
Ooh, airbrushed memorial clothing is a GREAT idea. That sort of reminds me of how this guy Katie and I went to high school with had a tattoo of his dead brother’s initials on his bicep. It not only seemed really badass, but it sent the message that he was super deep, even though Katie and I totally knew better.
Count me in on the stickers! Mine will say “Her booty was the shit.”
And then we will both end up on As Seen in Shreveport, and the rest of the city will mourn with us.
(You know, we could always airbrush your face to the hoods of our cars, too. Then we’re GUARANTEED a spot on ASIS.)
Oh, could you make it one of those stickers with the cryptic acronym on it? Like the “OTX” stickers you used to see EVERY CAR before they started making them for other places. (I would love to know who the insanely “cool” person was who started that trend.) Mine could just be “RIPKEE”. Oh, I like that so much.
Pretty sure we should have these airbrushed jackets made while we’re still alive, though. At the Pumpkin Show!
Those are darling pictures of you two. It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone who I’ve really considered a close, true, best friend in the female sense. You’re very lucky to have one.
There needs to be an OkCupid for best friends! Ladies like us need other ladies to talk to.
aww,you guys are adorable… that made me sooo emotional…thanks for sharing. it made me think about my bff and all the fun & not so fun times we’ve shared & the fact that we plan to celebrate our 20th anniversary with a trip to the mediterranean later this year. yeah, we’re really intense.
Tracey and I need to be more like you and your BFF! We went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland together one year, and we went to Charleston, SC, after Christmas one year, but other than that, we’re homebodies. At least she lives 20 minutes away from my parents so I can see her nonstop every time I visit Ohio.
I’m interested in what these “not so fun times” were! I’m picturing lots of boyfriend-stealing and hair-pulling.
Trying not to die is a tough task. I wish you all luck.
I try not to die, but, well, I have three kids and they’re slowly digging my early grave.
I mean, I LOVE being a Mom every day!
At least if your best friend dies, you can be like, “Thank god I have my wonderful children.” If Tracey dies on me, I’m left with nothing! NOTHING!
(Don’t tell my boyfriend I said that.)
I’ve had very few friends in my life ’cause I’ve moved all the time, but I’ve been missing girl friendship here lately. We’ve now been here almost 7 years. It’s time for me to make friends, dammit! My/our hermitness doesn’t help. *sigh*
You guys are really adorable. Love the fingernail clippings bit. So funny!
I would have no idea how to make friends in your position. Nearly all of the girlfriends I have in NYC were my co-workers at some point, and the others I met through my blog or through friends. I know you’re supposed to “get out there” and join social groups and things, but that’s so awkward. Like I told welfy above, we need an OkCupid for BFFs!