As you know, I’ve been all over the melodramatic crime dramas lately, and I’m finding myself a little bothered by characters on two shows: Penelope Garcia on “Criminal Minds” and Abby Sciuto on “NCIS”. Both of the women provide technical support and clownish whimsy to their otherwise all-business teams. They’re “alternative” characters, both perpetual teenagers in grown-up bodies. One is a girly-girl who brings trolls and ponies to decorate her desk when she’s working with the NYPD. The other is a goth who needs to be constantly fueled by 32-ounce sodas.
And really, I like that they exist on TV. They’re both super-smart, super-capable women playing invaluable roles on their teams and bringing femininity to their positions in ways that are beneficial rather than weak and detrimental. My problem with them is that they’re alternative in the way that appeals to middle America, alternative in the way out-of-touch TV execs imagine alternative to be. Abby wears black lipstick and spiked cuffs, but she talks with a baby voice, and you kind of picture her listening to Michael Bublé in her downtime. Garcia is brought in on cases where teenage boys need to be talked out of convincing their classmates to hang themselves, but anyone who was 17 fewer than twenty years ago knows no teenager would actually feel a connection to her; they’d think she was trying too hard.
The same goes for her team, who you know wouldn’t give her a second glance outside the office, except possibly to comment snidely on her multicolored hair and too-bright dresses. People really living lifestyles that differ from the norm have a hard time fitting in with the straight-laced set, but these characters are “alt lite”, societally-acceptable enough that your middle-aged viewer doesn’t feel threatened but zany enough that your middle-aged viewer feels a little bit hip quote-unquote knowing them. The problem is that anyone who’s the least bit hip themselves (I’m talking about me here, obviously) is going to see right through the ruse and like the shows less because of it.
What’s interesting is that Garcia also appears on the new spinoff, “Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior”. (It’s like there’s only room for one quirky fat girl on TV at a time.) Meanwhile, Janeane Garofalo, who actually is an alternative badass, plays a super-straight Special Agent in pantsuits and V-necks. Oh, irony.
17 Comments
First of all, wow. You have really been catching up on the ol’ “Criminal Minds,” eh? I’m proud of you. I actually think I’ve watched all possible old episodes, which has given me a void in my life which I’m hoping the baby will fill.
Secondly, are you saying you don’t think Morgan would flirt with Garcia in real life? Really? REALLY? *note sarcasm*
Thirdly, have you watched enough “Criminal Minds” that I can talk with you about the spin-off? Let me know, because I’m dying to talk to somebody. I’ll give it a few more weeks, but right now I’m not happy.
I needed to talk to you this weekend, actually, because I had just watched two episodes that totally weirded me out, and I was trying to tell my friends about them at dinner, but none of them watch the show and couldn’t help me at all. The first was one where Hotch comes home to find some dude in a mask waiting for him, and there’s a gunshot, and then the episode ends. The other was one where the team’s in NYC, and they all get into their black SUVs, and then one of them blows up, and the episode ends. And since my DVR only records the episodes that don’t conflict with something else I’m recording, I didn’t get the following episodes, and I have no idea what happened! I mean, obviously they all survived, because I’ve seen other episodes since, but WTF. I just need to download the whole series. I mean buy it.
I like the idea of filling a TV void with a baby. As long as they keep making “Real Housewives”, I should be able to keep from getting pregnant. I do kind of enjoy the Derek/Garcia flirting, but yeah, if she wasn’t a tech genius who solved every case for them, there’s no way that would happen, joking or not.
I think I’m spin-off ready. I’m really interested in what you could be unhappy about one episode in; I didn’t exactly feel the groove of the original, but I figure it’ll happen.
I had the freaking EXACT same thing happen to me with both of those episodes recording and then no subsequent episode. I eventually saw the subsequent episode with Hotch, but it took a while. From what I’ve surmised (with the help of my good friend Wikipedia), there was a killer that Hotch was after called the Boston Reaper. He broke into Hotch’s apartment, shot him and then dropped him off at a hospital. But he also stole the address of where Haley and Jack were staying. He finds Haley and kills her, but Hotch does kill him finally.
I have no idea what the resolution is for that NYC one, and that really pisses me off. Let me know if you find out. I also saw one where Garcia got shot at the end and have never seen the following episode for it….damn DVR.
The spin-off just confuses me. I thought it would be awesome and different somehow, but the first episode was basically like any other “Criminal Minds” just with a different cast. I was/am hoping that since it’s tagged “Suspect Behavior” they will focus more on multiple suspects and narrowing it down through behavioral analysis, rather than constantly chasing the faceless unsub. We will see. I’m basically in love with Spencer Reid and want to have his baby, so it’s going to take a lot to sell me on any other cast, truth be told.
Oh, so I totally started watching the series at the point where Haley had been killed and Hotch was taking some time off. And now it all comes full circle. Funny.
You’re right about the spinoff. I don’t really care which of the “Law & Order”s I’m watching, but I do expect a different focus if “SVU” versus “Criminal Intent” is on. I like Forest Whitaker’s badassness, since I always think of Thomas Gibson as the “Dharma & Greg” guy, but otherwise, yeah, the new cast doesn’t blow my mind.
So there’s no Reid-ish character in the new show, right? Seems like a real loss. I guess maybe he’s too busy doing things like Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, though.
Also, I’ve had to Google “unsub”, like, 10 times now, because I always forget what it means.
I’ve never seen “Criminal Minds,” but I’ve always had a soft spot for Abby because she’s from New Orleans. I’m very irrational that way.
Oh, yeah, I mean, the moment an Ohio contestant is on “America’s Next Top Model” or “American Idol” or anything, everyone else stops mattering to me.
This whole blog is going to be about “Criminal Minds” sooner or later, so you’d better get to watchin’.
Are you watching the Criminal Minds marathon RIGHT NOW? The current ep is the one with the dude who takes eyeballs. I love this show. My roommate turned me onto it this fall because she has a crush on the guy who plays Reid because she likes them skinny and a little terminally ill-looking.
I am also conflicted by Garcia because I find her likeable but entirely unrelatable. That’s probably simply because I can never comprehend the sort of arrested development that leads grown ass women to dress up like kindergarteners and take the concept of childlike delight to actual juvenile levels. I feel like I shouldn’t be pick on it, because, as you pointed out, in the case of Garcia, she’s all smart and good at her job (and I’m secretly charmed when Hottie McHot Morgan flirts with her even though, riiiiiight), and also, self-expression is personal blah blah blah. But when I come across this type of person in real life, I rarely like her/accept her as genuine. I feel like the line between “alternative” and acting is really blurry.
Sorry, this comment is basically nonsensical after the first couple of sentences.
My DVR is set to record every episode, but a lot of them get crowded out by all of my reality junk. I hope the eyeball episode is on there somewhere, though! One of my favourites so far is the one where the retarded lady collects women and makes them into dolls.
I have some concern that I will become Garcia if I don’t consciously stop myself. Like, Kim, I had my sister buy me pink polka dot bedding for Christmas last year. And when I ran a purse by her via e-mail this morning, she said . . . wait, I need to write a whole post about this.
But yes, I agree entirely with your acting/alternative thoughts. It’s one thing to have a lot of personality and another to force it all over everyone else in giant-patterned sundresses.
Such astute observations! I don’t watch either show (I gave up the one crime drama CSI when it went & took an even less believable turn last year) but I’ve seen the ponytailed actress in flipping channels. Why can’t “characters” be more than simply that?? People never are so simple. Maybe you should take up screenwriting.
That’s an interesting point. I guess with shows like this, it’s hard to fully develop a character when the characters aren’t actually the main focus of the shows. Of course the shows would be much less interesting if the investigative teams didn’t have personalities at all, but the killers are really the point. Clearly these shows need spinoffs where each character’s entire history and making are revealed.
Fact check (because that’s what we do): Criminal Minds has nothing to do with NYPD. They’re the FBI’s BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit).
Regardless of their place in the alt-spectrum, I love both of these characters. I’d like to think the funny fat girl gets flirted with by the most gorgeous guy on the planet on the reg because, well, I AM the funny fat girl. Plus, I’ve been compared to both of them during the course of my job, and I can certainly think of worse things.
Oh, I was talking about the episode where the team is sent to NYC to help with a series of killings by dudes in hoodies. I’ve, uh, seen about 100 episodes now.
I’m sure you’re all sorts of quirky and funny without being a caricature, so don’t hate me.
Ahhh. My mistake. I should’ve known after all of that viewing…
Could I hate you? I doubt it.
Note that I was so anxious to let you know that I knew they weren’t part of the NYPD that I used the Internet on my Kindle last night because my laptop’s being worked on.
Also, I would like to know what the hell kind of stuff you’re doing at your job that cause people to liken you to those two. And also how you dress.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees through tv’s attempts at “characters.” I don’t watch those shows, but I get the gist, and the pictures kind of speak for themselves.
Can I point out that I’d like to jump through the tv every time that State Farm commercial with the weirdly constantly grinning guy comes on and punch his lights out? Tom makes fun of me, but I complain every time one comes on. Give me a break! Are people really so gullible that they’d think he was friendly and charming? Blech.
Wait, do you mean the Nationwide commercials? The only State Farm commercials I can think of are the ones where the people sing, “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” and an agent or a new girlfriend or a stuffed panda pop up. And the people sing really, really off-key, and it’s unbearable.
But the Nationwide commercials, on the other hand, I totally love. I love it when the guy saves the cute redhead from the boulder and when he sings, “NationPam is on your s . . . sam,” and then says, “We’ll make that work.” Come on! He’s totally cute!
My roommate really hates that guy, too, if it helps.
Nope. It’s State Farm. I actually googled it to find out more, and it turns out that I’m not the only one who hates him, though I think other people are focusing on his looks, rather than the ridiculous over-niceness. He’s the super polite guy talking about how people are finding ways to save money. It’s just so overdone and makes me angry.