The Two Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts in the World

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On Valentine’s Day evening, Kamran called me from the law school library to check in and asked, “Anything . . . happen . . . to you today?”

“Um . . . nope,” I said.

“Nothing . . . happen?”

“Nope.”

“You didn’t . . . get anything delivered to you?”

“Nope.”

“Seriously?!”

“Yep.”

So it turns out he actually attempted to send me something to make up for my having to be alone and do laundry on Valentine’s Day. Only it didn’t get to me in time. And then not for two more days.

But still, aren’t they beautiful in all of their sparseness and deadness?

No?

Well, the company rightfully gave Kamran a refund, which he’s adding to my after-bar-exam chocolate fund. And it is, after all, the thought that counts. Which is why he’s still dating me despite the “Jersey Shore” t-shirt I made him for Valentine’s Day.


Also, donuts4dinner post today for all of my commiserators in fish-hate!

17 Comments

  1. Dishy says:

    It’s the Thought That Counts should be that florist’s tag line.

  2. Jessica R. says:

    I would very much like to see a photo of him in this Jersey Shore t-shirt.

    • Oh, you’d better believe it’s coming. A lot of them, actually. Because I’m going to make him wear that to every fancy restaurant in town.

      Do you actually watch “Jersey Shore”? All of my friends here refuse to watch the show and don’t get what the shirt’s about, so I have no one to tell me how hilarious I am for making it!

      • Julie says:

        Kevin got me hooked on Jersey Shore. That show is a train wreck, but I can’t look away! I can’t wait to see your shirt.

        P.S. Connor said he had a situation the other day and I’m not sure where he got that from, but it was hilarious!

    • ME TOO! If you actually crafted said t-shirt and do not post a picture, I am going to be INCONSOLABLE.

      INCONSOLABLE!!

  3. Alfagirl says:

    Flowers are nice, but reservations at Per Se really say “I love you” ;)

    Perhaps he could add the refund to your 10-course tasting menu (w/ wine pairings) meal fund?

    • We’re both actively working on a reservation now to celebrate his being finished with the bar and my being an all-around awesome person! We’re refreshing nonstop on OpenTable, and they keep popping up, but they’re all too soon. I put us on a waitlist for a spot a couple of months ago, but who would ever not show up for a Per Se reservation, right?

  4. Alfagirl says:

    Btw, is he going to give you a Real Housewives sweatsuit to go w/ his Jersey Shore T-shirt? Then you both can walk proudly around Atlantic City.

  5. bluzdude says:

    At least he didn’t give you some lame line like it was a strike back at the blatant commercialization of Valentines day, along with its paternalistic ethos.

    Plus, flowers scream when you cut them. Only bees can hear it though, and they’re dying off from the sadness.

    • You totally just put Blind Melon’s “No Rain” in my head. She makes me want to make bees cry.

      I notice you didn’t mention Valentine’s Day on your blog. Were you striking back at the blatant commercialization of the fake holiday, along with its paternalistic ethos?

  6. Kitty says:

    Post-bar chocolate fund? I am confused…who’s taking the Bar and who’s getting the chocolate?

    • Kamran’s taking the bar! He finished law school at the end of last year. And I’m getting the chocolate, if I play my cards right.

      • Kitty says:

        Nice. Does he have a post-bar liquor fund? Cuz he’s gonna need it! Tell Kamran I say good luck and not too stress too much: he doesn’t have to know everything, just more than his neighbor :)

  7. tasha says:

    Why do you get the chocolate after he takes the bar? Because you’ve been so patient with him deserting you to study?

    He didn’t get you red roses, at least. Good man.

  8. Cristy says:

    It was very sweet of him to think about you and Valentine’s Day in the middle of his bar madness. The idea of the shirt just kills me. I def want to see pics, too. :)