Living the Ohio Life at Three Times the Rent

Filed under all of my friends are prettier than i am, living in new york is neat, no i really do love ohio

Last Friday, I was alone. I knew Kamran would be at the library all night with just over a week left before the bar exam, so I’d planned for many hours of one-on-one time with the DVR and “Criminal Minds”. But right about quittin’ time, I started feeling like I wanted to do something. I thought about how ironic it is to live in New York City and keep a blog about it and then sit home quietly eating bon-bons on a Friday night.

I thought about calling my former NYCBFF, Beth, but then I remembered she moved to San Francisco. Then I thought about calling my current NYCBFF, Ash, but then I remembered she’s trying to save money to buy a house and move somewhere even worse, Connecticut. Then I thought about calling Chantee, but then I remembered she’s busy rigging rich people’s taxes for the next two months. And on and on. I went through a mental list of each and every person I know in NYC and found a reason not to call any of them. And I felt like if I was just going to sit around on my couch, I might as well be sitting on a couch with my BBFF back in Ohio.

But just then, my NYCBFF IMed me and said she’s now a bazillionaire, doesn’t need to save all of her money anymore, and wanted to hang out! So I went to her luxuriously large apartment in Queens, and we got into her brand new CR-V, and her husband drove us to The Cheesecake Factory. Which was in a mall. In Long Island. Full of people in not just Juicy Couture velour tracksuit bottoms, which Ash says is okay, but the whole tracksuit.

Cheesecake Factory

It was the very un-NYC-est thing we could do and also the un-suckiest.

17 Comments

  1. kimz says:

    This is why we need to live in the same city. Except, you would have to move here because I would never move to NYC. Come on, Katie. Boston is calling your name. I can hear it.

    • Aww, man, thanks for commenting on both of my posts on an accidental double-post day. My awful memory fails me again.

      So, okay, I need to actually plan a trip to Boston. Hey, are you going to be there for the 4th? I don’t think I can afford to go home for that, so maybe a $1 bus ride to see you would be the next-best thing.

      • kimz says:

        By “the 4th” do you mean 4th of July or 4th of March? Because probably not in July, but probably 4th of March.

        • Oh, yeah, sorry, I was looking at my calendar when I wrote that, so it made sense to me. I was thinking the 4th of July, since I’ll have an extra day off.

          If that doesn’t work, May 28th-30th is probably good, and so is September 3rd-5th. Maybe I can convince Kamran to come and split a hotel room with me so we won’t be all up in your bizness.

  2. Lisa says:

    I was under the impression Juicy Couture anything was unacceptable. And I always wondered if I moved to a bigger city with dining options galore, would I miss my favorite chain restaurants? I do love Cheesecake Factory (not that Shreveport is big enough to have one).

    • I think Ash was just trying to make herself feel better about wearing a Juicy hoodie that night. Although I did read an article once about how women all over the city were walking around in Lululemon yoga pants because they’re designed to make your butt look great. Ohhh, vanity.

      I miss chain restaurants A LOT. Which is why I go visit my family in Ohio A LOT. And also get pretty excited when I make friends with cars. Because while the Applebee’s in Times Square charges more than quadruple what the ones in Ohio do, the Long Island and Jersey ones do not.

  3. Dishy says:

    Am I the only person who has never been to the cheesecake factory??

    • No!

      My best friend and I were to meet Noel in Ohio over Thanksgiving, and when I suggested TCF, she was like, “What’s the big deal? Is it in fact the cheesecake or something else entirely?”

      And when we invited another friend to go with us Friday night, he also wondered what the big deal is.

      The big deal is EVERYTHING. There’s nothing there that isn’t totally delicious, even though the menu is so big it has advertisements in it. There’s also nothing there that isn’t 2700 calories. The portions are so big even a glutton like me didn’t actually make it to the cheesecake for several trips. Go, go, go!

  4. Cristy says:

    Un-sucky is always best. That dessert looks divine!

    • It was cheesecake . . . layers with cake . . . and candy bar pieces. With whipped peanut butter on top.

      The menus in NYC list calorie counts. I did not look.

  5. Kim says:

    This post is funny to me because I totally use New York as an excuse when I am being lame and boring and gluttonous like a suburbanite. Such as, “It may be Friday night and I may be lamely eating candy alone in my bed while attempting to watch S. Darko, but AT LEAST I LIVE IN NEW YORK!” Now I’m going to feel all guilty about not being cultured or coked up every minute, god.

    No part of a Juicy tracksuit is okay. Neither is the yoga pants as regular pants trend, though I allow for it on flights longer than 5 hours as at least they’re better than Juicy tracksuits.

    I don’t like cheesecake (although THAT one looks like it has potential) but the one time I went to a CF I had the limoncello creme torte and that was excellent even despite my general aversion to cakes that are not chocolate.

  6. bluzdude says:

    Speaking of stretch pants, when I was on jury duty this week, the defendant was wearing stretch pants… INSIDE-OUT!! You could see the big white tag right on the middle of her ass.

    My rule is, anyone that doesn’t know how to dress for her own trial, has to be guilty.

  7. Jessica says:

    I really really would like to eat that right now.

  8. I didn’t read this post at all. I just stared at the picture for five minutes and drooled all over my keyboard.

    Now I’m going to go stand in front of the open refrigerator, hoping a piece of cheesecake will magically appear. Wish me luck!

  9. Cassie says:

    I’ve only been to the cheesecake factory once before and I have to say that their oreo cheesecake should be illegal it’s so damn good.

    And I’m with Mrs. BG. I want cheesecake and I want it now.