Monthly Archives: February 2011

HOW DID WE SURVIVE BEFORE COMPUTERS?

Posted by plumpdumpling on February 25, 2011 – 12:35 pm
Filed under music is my boyfriend
Tagged as , ,

Here is proof that the Internet is awesome.

On the night Kamran finished the two-day New York state bar exam, he played me this video by The Pastels:

It’s a seriously great song, and I’ve been playing it over and over again for the past two days, so I decided I should just up and download the whole album this morning. So I go to my favourite BitTorrent site, and I find a copy of the 1987 single for that very song, “Crawl Babies”.

I also find this:

Isn’t that SO FUNNY? It reminds of one of the early Chuck Klosterman books and the way he talked about how sad it is that music videos aren’t being preserved. At the time I read it, YouTube was already in existence, and I kind of wanted to write to him and be like, “Did you ever think life would be this great in the 2000s, Chuck?” But then I remembered that I don’t have his e-mail address, because he never wrote to me to thank me for the completely awesome movie I bought for him.

And now this music video that was being called “very rare” has been viewed 168,000+ times on YouTube, 1,000 of them by me. The Internet is so great.

The Private Lives of City Dwellers

Posted by plumpdumpling on February 24, 2011 – 12:00 pm
Filed under creepy boyfriend obsession, too much information
Tagged as ,

Kamran is officially finished with law school and the bar exam! Now he has great plans for his free time:

I’m not sure you want to know the story behind that.

But obviously I’m going to tell the first person who asks in the comments.

My Boyfriend or My Butt: A Conundrum

Posted by plumpdumpling on February 22, 2011 – 2:30 pm
Filed under creepy boyfriend obsession, living in new york is neat, potty mouth
Tagged as , , , ,

I hate to admit that advertisements sometimes work on me. I used to have a roommate who would mute the TV every time the commercials came on so she could avoid being sold to, and I always loved her for that. The advent of the DVR has obviously made it easier to live commercial-freer, but I’m still met with ads I can’t ignore on the streets and subways.

And it’s not always a bad thing. After seeing FreshDirect trucks all over town, I finally convinced the ever-reluctant Kamran to try it, and it turned out to be kind of life-changing for us. Not only is it much less expensive than Manhattan-based grocery stores because they don’t have to pay Manhattan rent, but they also offer the kind of selection you could never find at small Manhattan retailers. We used to have to make a choice every weekend to walk in one direction to the health food store or in the other direction to the traditional grocery store, but FreshDirect has both your traditional (meaning terrible) items like sugar-free Jell-o and your local, organic, pastured, antibiotic-free stuff. And they deliver it right to your door. Swoon.

I have a problem, though. Last night, I saw an ad on the subway for Soap.com, and when I checked it this morning, I found that they have my lotion, my powder foundation, and my shampoo at Ohio prices. (Yes, I kind of feel bad about not supporting my local economy, but I feel worse about paying $9 for a $5 bottle of mostly water.) So obviously I want to order from them, but here’s my dilemma: they have the toilet paper Kamran likes but that none of our local stores carry. I don’t like it because of the way dust-like miniscule paper particles fly all over the place every time I rip a sheet off, but I think he really misses the stuff.

Do I order from them, save a bunch of money, get my bathroom essentials delivered for free, and risk having a dusty bum again? Or do I go to a retail store, pay Manhattan prices, and continue to ruin Kamran’s life with my super-soft, non-shreddy toilet paper?

“Criminal Minds”, “NCIS”, and the Case of the Not-Cool Character

Posted by plumpdumpling on February 21, 2011 – 12:00 pm
Filed under a taste for tv
Tagged as , ,

As you know, I’ve been all over the melodramatic crime dramas lately, and I’m finding myself a little bothered by characters on two shows: Penelope Garcia on “Criminal Minds” and Abby Sciuto on “NCIS”. Both of the women provide technical support and clownish whimsy to their otherwise all-business teams. They’re “alternative” characters, both perpetual teenagers in grown-up bodies. One is a girly-girl who brings trolls and ponies to decorate her desk when she’s working with the NYPD. The other is a goth who needs to be constantly fueled by 32-ounce sodas.

And really, I like that they exist on TV. They’re both super-smart, super-capable women playing invaluable roles on their teams and bringing femininity to their positions in ways that are beneficial rather than weak and detrimental. My problem with them is that they’re alternative in the way that appeals to middle America, alternative in the way out-of-touch TV execs imagine alternative to be. Abby wears black lipstick and spiked cuffs, but she talks with a baby voice, and you kind of picture her listening to Michael Bublé in her downtime. Garcia is brought in on cases where teenage boys need to be talked out of convincing their classmates to hang themselves, but anyone who was 17 fewer than twenty years ago knows no teenager would actually feel a connection to her; they’d think she was trying too hard.

The same goes for her team, who you know wouldn’t give her a second glance outside the office, except possibly to comment snidely on her multicolored hair and too-bright dresses. People really living lifestyles that differ from the norm have a hard time fitting in with the straight-laced set, but these characters are “alt lite”, societally-acceptable enough that your middle-aged viewer doesn’t feel threatened but zany enough that your middle-aged viewer feels a little bit hip quote-unquote knowing them. The problem is that anyone who’s the least bit hip themselves (I’m talking about me here, obviously) is going to see right through the ruse and like the shows less because of it.

What’s interesting is that Garcia also appears on the new spinoff, “Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior”. (It’s like there’s only room for one quirky fat girl on TV at a time.) Meanwhile, Janeane Garofalo, who actually is an alternative badass, plays a super-straight Special Agent in pantsuits and V-necks. Oh, irony.

The Two Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts in the World

Posted by plumpdumpling on February 17, 2011 – 1:00 pm
Filed under uncategorized

On Valentine’s Day evening, Kamran called me from the law school library to check in and asked, “Anything . . . happen . . . to you today?”

“Um . . . nope,” I said.

“Nothing . . . happen?”

“Nope.”

“You didn’t . . . get anything delivered to you?”

“Nope.”

“Seriously?!”

“Yep.”

So it turns out he actually attempted to send me something to make up for my having to be alone and do laundry on Valentine’s Day. Only it didn’t get to me in time. And then not for two more days.

But still, aren’t they beautiful in all of their sparseness and deadness?

No?

Well, the company rightfully gave Kamran a refund, which he’s adding to my after-bar-exam chocolate fund. And it is, after all, the thought that counts. Which is why he’s still dating me despite the “Jersey Shore” t-shirt I made him for Valentine’s Day.

Also, donuts4dinner post today for all of my commiserators in fish-hate!