I moved from Williamsburg, Brooklyn to Downtown Brooklyn this weekend and hired a couple of strongmen to haul my things for me in their cargo van. I found them through a site where movers bid on your job based on how much stuff you have and chose them because their user reviews were all perfect. They did an amazing job of packing all of my things into their van and were nice, friendly guys to boot.

My new landlord/roommate/co-worker/superfriend, Jack, and I spent a few minutes rearranging furniture after they left, and then we decided to take a trip to the Brooklyn IKEA just because there’s a free shuttle bus that stops right up the street from our new place. And also because they have Swedish meatballs and lingonberry juice. When Jack went to lock the door, the locking mechanism malfunctioned, so we stopped at the front desk on the way out to ask the super to fix it.

When we got back to the apartment a few hours later, the lock was fixed, and our separate bathrooms were begging to be christened. We’re still kind of unsure how much of our restroom dealings are audible to each other, so I decided to set some things up in my bedroom to keep Jack from having stage fright. I grabbed my lamp from the living room, plugged it in in my bedroom, and flipped the switch, but it didn’t work. I moved it to another outlet and tried again, but it still didn’t turn on. I called to Jack, “I don’t think there’s any electricity in my bedroom!” I reached down inside the lampshade to tighten the lightbulb, but there was no bulb in it.

Now, that lamp sat unused in my old bedroom for many months. I’m not even entirely sure it had a lightbulb when it left my apartment. But I’m positive that when one of the movers handed it to me from the van, he’d taken the shade and the base and screwed them together using a fluorescent bulb, which is what my old roommate and I used. I’d taken the lamp upstairs to the new apartment, left it in the living room, and didn’t touch it again until after we got back from IKEA.

Immediately, Jack blamed the super. He said, “Think about it. You’d notice if something big like a TV was missing, but you’d never suspect him of stealing something small like a lightbulb. I’ll bet he does this all over the building.”

But I, usually the one so quick to assume the worst of people, said, “No way. Obviously the most logical explanation is that the movers . . . happen to carry a stray bulb around with them . . . because people are always moving lamps without bulbs in them . . . and . . . this was the easiest way to ensure those people’s shades wouldn’t fall off the bases and break.”

No?

Either way, WTF?!