STDs are Taking Over the Squash Family

Filed under no i really do love ohio

Last year, there was the pumpkin anus:

This year, it was full-on

PUMPKIN HERPES.

10 Comments

  1. Serial says:

    Herpes? I’m thinking more like an intense breakout of warts. Cause herpes are, like, oozy, right? No? Am I thinking of the correct STD? I can’t remember, it’s been so long since high school health ed (and college, for that matter).

    • If I can’t rely on YOU to know the signs of various “social diseases”, who can I?

      I’ll bet those pumpkin pustules would ooze so hard if you popped them.

      • Serial says:

        I know! I used to do peer to peer education when I was in high school! We taught Jr. High kids how to put condoms on bananas. It was pretty fun.

  2. bluzdude says:

    I’m sorry, that skeeves me out a little bit…

    OK, a lot.

    What’s that in the middle? A gourd boner?

    • That, of course, is a drinking gourd displayed ceremoniously to symbolize the journey of the slave as he traveled to freedom following the Big Dipper from the southern states to Ohio.

      And not a boner.

      You insensitive jerk.

  3. Tracey says:

    It’s just because conservative Circleville doesn’t teach comprehensive sex ed.

  4. spaghedeity says:

    THESE PICTURES GIVE ME SHIVERS DOWN MY BACK

    SHIVERS DOWN MY BACK

    WHAT THE HELL PUMPKIN

  5. B.A. says:

    That is one scary lookin’ pumpkin. Where do they grow these things???

    • The biggest ones have been grown by a local doctor for the past few years. So either he has a looooot of time on his hands to water his pumpkins when he should be curing cancer, or he’s injecting those things with steroids.

  6. Clearly, them pumpkins ain’t livin’ right.