I’m Going to the Hamptons!

Filed under living in new york is neat, par-tay

As you’re reading this, I’m on my way to spend the next four days with eleven of my closest friends in THE HAMPTONS!

The apparent view from our back deck

Our house has a pool! And I’m bringing my new Rollerblades so my friend Christine can attempt to teach me to skate on the boardwalk and fail miserably! And we’re going to have “Top Chef”-style cooking competitions! And my friend Chantee says she wants to be on my team because she “trusts my palate more than most Food Network stars'”! And hopefully we’ll escape the weekend without anyone getting alcohol poisoning or accidentally sleeping together!

It’ll be my first time there, and just the idea of it makes me feel all snobby and pretentious. I love that.


  1. Jack says:

    “And hopefully we’ll escape the weekend without anyone … accidentally sleeping together”

    Apparently your idea of this trip is much different than mine.

    • Post-trip, this comment seems so ironic, considering that you’re the only one of us who “accidentally” slept with someone else this weekend.

  2. Kim says:

    Are you going to Southampton or East Hampton? Do you need to borrow a wicker purse? What is this “rollerblading” you speak of? Isn’t that something they do in Hampton Beach, NH, where the hypodermic needles decorate the sand? Or like … California (ew)? Just kidding. So jealous.

    And sexing is inevitable. Or it should be.

    • Southampton! One of my friends suggested that our group wasn’t, um, quite ready for East Hampton.

      I have a wicker purse, but I didn’t bring it. I did bring my Rollerblades and learned to skate using the road in front of the house, which caused all kinds of snooty people to slow down and stare at me. I fell down. I didn’t see any needles, but there was a sandpiper nesting area roped off. I love rich folk pet causes. I didn’t wear a maxi dress. I think you would’ve been disappointed.

  3. JEALOUS. I want to know immediately if you see Martha Stewart.

    • Tracey says:

      Likewise, my mom wants you to tell Kelly Ripa “hello” for her.

      • Thanks to those Electrolux commercials, I now picture Kelly Ripa producing cupcakes and sundaes from her appliances at all times while somehow maintaining her perfect manicure. When I’m sure that in fact, she has several Mexican women doing that for her.

    • We caught snails together in the bay and canned a year’s worth of peaches to top our homemade gelato with. It was a very good thing, ifyouknowwhatImean.

  4. bluzdude says:

    You can work on getting the proper accent by talking without unclenching your jaw.

    • I wish I hadn’t read this comment on my BlackBerry on my way to the beach, because I spent the entire weekend thinking about it, wanting to call everyone Muffy, and wishing I had some fashionable turtlenecks.

  5. Julie says:

    Jealous. Have a fun time and post all about it.

  6. karinya says:

    Ooh, yes. I want to hear all about it!

    • You would appreciate that the one mother who was going on the trip couldn’t find a sitter for her baby until the very last minute, so I suggested that she just bring her along and let her have fun at the beach. Her reaction? “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, no, this is my vaCATion!”

  7. was it everything you dreamed it would be?!?!? i’ve never been…