I wanted Kim to put a Boston-Irish beatdown on him, but then I remembered she’s Jewish.

Filed under living in new york sucks so hard

I hate to post my own crap when I haven’t read anyone else’s blog in, like, a week, but I have to tell you this ridiculous story:

My friend Kim was in town from Boston this weekend and took me to the Fashion District on the west side of Midtown to meet another friend on Saturday afternoon. I was wearing a red and black plaid wool cape that might be a little bright for some people’s tastes, but as we walked down 37th Street, we saw store after store selling the gaudiest, most rhinestoned, way-more-over-the-top-than-my-cape-type dresses you’ve ever seen. They were only fit for something like a Miss America pageant–definitely not opening night of the Met nor singing a bluesy number on top of a piano at a lounge–so we were discussing how not one but a whole block of them could possibly stay in business. Out of nowhere, and certainly not prompted by anything we said or did, a man spoke to us. He was probably 40 and sat in his car along the curb, smoking a cigarette. Not missing his front teeth or anything but trashy enough that I could imagine him alone at a stripclub in Jersey on a weeknight. I didn’t understand what he’d said at first and didn’t have time to properly react, but two steps later, I realized that he’d called from his car, “Plaid is totally out this season! Don’t you read Vogue?

19 Comments

  1. Alfagirl says:

    Hahahaha!!! Only in the garment district in NYC. First off, I’m glad someone else noticed those god-awful stores! Seriously! Can there be that many Latina girls needing bridesmaid dresses?

    Also, I go by the Burberry reasoning that plaid is never out of style. Walk proudly down the street and own it!

    • I was going to try to keep it hip around here and mention something about that Jonas brother’s new Latina wife, but then I looked her up and found out she’s Italian. DAMN!

      Oh, if only this was Burberry plaid and not serial-killer-living-in-the-woods plaid.

  2. Only in NYC, man.

    Besides, anything Katie Ett wears is in style by default.

  3. Kim says:

    Ha! So many things with the title to this alone. First of all, I immediately decided you would be writing about me, almost had to go all WASP Rx-rage on being termed Boston Irish, then realized you obviously meant some Boston Kim you actually hang out with in person. THEN when you announced her Jewishness I panicked intensely that I know this girl, and she should not be allowed to exist. Then I remembered this is Katie Ett’s blog, and she’d never know the Jewish Boston Kim of EPIC FAIL that I unfortunately encountered in life, so I calmed down again.

    Anyway, wear plaid all you want. I don’t believe in fashion anymore, it’s all sweatpants and paisley and wtf ever, fashion.

    • I mean, this Kim is a major player in the Jump scene, so there’s a possibility that you know her. Although Boston is a relatively recent thing, and I mostly associate her with South Carolina. But ANYWAY, tell the epic fail story!

      Also, I put your blog in the links box on the new Unapologetically Mundane Facebook page, so, like, update it already.

      • Kim says:

        Oh please do keep that darling little blog in your links box, but I believe for now it will remain dormant.

        Up side: I’m so narcissistic I started another one, that’s way less anonymous so I can post PICTURES OF MYSELF.

        My name links to it now. FEEL FREE TO PIMP.

        ;)

  4. Sandy says:

    OMG, what the hell ever. When is woodsy serial killer plaid NOT in, amirite?

  5. kimz says:

    OH MY GOD, am I EPIC FAIL kim? Shit, I hope not. Of course, I’m too cool to be part of any fail, epic or not.

  6. Tracey says:

    Your Kim is Jewish? MY Kim is Jewish, too!

  7. Alfagirl says:

    I suddenly feel left out because I don’t know a Jewish Kim…

  8. I know those stores well – I always wonder what they are doing in the Fashion District. The items they carry are decidedly UN – fashionable!

    • Someday you’re going to need a neon pink, mid-thigh-length halter dress with a rhinestone heart on the neckline, and those stores will be your savior. And you can invite me along to shop with you.

  9. Mike Lowrey says:

    True NY’ers would never go to Jersey Strip clubs!
    That’s just disgusting. Stop spreading nasty rumors.

    We have plenty of NYC talent…we don’t need to cross the river!