Monthly Archives: November 2009

You Don’t Freakin’ Know Me, Wii Fit

Posted by plumpdumpling on November 16, 2009 – 12:00 pm
Filed under it's fun to be fat
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Yesterday, as Kamran was doing his Body Test on our Wii Fit, the little Wii Fit Board icon thing with the unexplainable baby voice decided to take a detour and asked him how I was doing. Then, it asked him to select whether I looked lighter, heavier, or the same after my recent sessions of hardcore Wii hula-hooping and Wii bowling.

Kamran looked at me as I sat eating chocolate fudge brownie Ben & Jerry’s and politely chose “the same”. The Wii Fit told him that perhaps he should pay more attention to me. We laughed, since I’m always doing dances around his apartment on the weekends to get him to pay attention to me instead of his law school books.

The Wii Fit then told him that in studies, dogs that are paid more attention by their owners are more motivated. Hmph.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor

Posted by plumpdumpling on November 11, 2009 – 11:00 am
Filed under living in new york sucks so hard, no i really do love ohio
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Last week’s New York magazine had the most interesting article about a co-housing community trying to plant roots in Brooklyn. The idea is that they’ll buy an abandoned factory or warehouse, fit it with something like 30 apartments, and include huge common areas where people can gather. They’ll make all decisions as a community, eat dinner together, keep their apartment doors open, and basically be family to each other in a city where people pride themselves on anonymity.

I love the idea. I’m now dying to be a part of it and would be in a second if I had the $500k for one of their apartments. I talk daily about how much I miss the way people say hello to everyone they pass in my hometown in Ohio, the way you have to respect and care for each other when you know each other’s fathers and brothers and were taught by each other’s grandmothers in elementary school. When you pass different people every day and your neighbor literally runs into his apartment to avoid having to exchange pleasantries with you, it’s much easier to feel separate and to be selfish and rude. Imagine how many fewer people I’d have to kick in the balls on the subway if we all knew each other personally and didn’t assume our problems were worse and ourselves more deserving of a comfortable spot on the train. It’d be like living in a college dorm room all over again, except with children and puppies.

Yet everyone else I’ve talked to seems to think this is a terrible idea. You?

Rub and Scrub and Scrub and Rub. Germs Go Down the Drain. Hey!

Posted by plumpdumpling on November 10, 2009 – 2:00 pm
Filed under my uber-confrontational personality, potty mouth, why i'm better than everyone else
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I like to judge people for fairly irrational things like:

1) not liking something as small as onions, while I myself hate everything that comes from the sea except possibly crab, and I only eat that when forced,
2) not putting their dirty dishes in the dishwasher at work, while I myself leave dishes in the sink at Kamran’s for days, and
3) using abbreviations like “lol” in chat, while I myself say “brb” all of the time, though I usually follow it up with “~@~”, which in Google chat looks like a pile of poo with flies circling around it, and the awesomeness of that cancels out my “brb”.

There’s one thing I judge people for that I don’t think is irrational, though, and that’s not washing their hands after using the bathroom. I know that ingesting someone else’s urine likely isn’t going to kill me, but I still feel so superior as I take an extra-long time to wash my hands in the bathroom and call innocently to anyone who leaves without stopping at the sink, “Oh, excuse me, but I think you accidentally-and-not-at-all-because-you’re-a-lazy-respectless-heathen forgot to wash your hands!” With the hugest, fakest smile on my face.

As I was rinsing today at work, though, I wondered, what do people who don’t wash their hands think about me? Are they judging me for being too clean?

Photodump Part 1

Posted by plumpdumpling on November 9, 2009 – 2:00 pm
Filed under narcissism
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On the way back to Kamran’s apartment with lunch on a Sunday afternoon, the Chrysler Building still stops us after three+ years of living by it.


At a GRE study session before dinner, Bridgette tells us about the molestation case she just finished jury duty for that afternoon, and Chantee is incredulous. Either that, or this is where we were arguing over the definition of the word assail, and Chantee was really into it.


A view of the Yankees World Series ticker tape parade in downtown from my office building.


Crazy Aunt Dorothy™ bakes me her famous German chocolate cake when I visit Ohio for my birthday.


After a visit to the Fashion Institute of Technology’s Seduction exhibit, Beth and I appropriately pass the Museum of Sex and learn a new fun fact.

The Yankees Apparently Won the World Series

Posted by plumpdumpling on November 6, 2009 – 10:10 am
Filed under living in new york sucks so hard, stuff i hate, why i'm better than everyone else
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The Awesome Part About Working in Downtown NYC on Yankees World Series Parade Day: My office building overlooks the parade, so I can watch it from our balcony without having to actually stand amongst the stinking masses.

The Awful Part About Working in Downtown NYC on Yankees World Series Parade Day: I don’t actually care about the Yankees or even baseball in general, yet I had to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with all of the cheerful fans this morning on the train. Grand Central was flooded with people in jerseys who had apparently taken the day off for the parade, which makes me a little sick to my stomach.

The Idiot Thing I Did in NYC on Yankees World Series Parade Day: I wore baby blue pants with a baby blue shirt and a navy blue track jacket. If one more person says something Yankees-positive to me on the train today despite the fact that I’m wearing headphones and reading a magazine, there will be blood.