I know you’re supposed to be all happy for other couples when you’re in love, but yesterday, I found myself watching this commercial and thinking, “My greatest hope is that their relationship will end in a bitter, drag-out divorce”:
It’s the “I didn’t need the Internet back when I was into scoring random hos/hoes at bars, but my mom told me I need to keep it in my pants now” line that really makes me want to see him unhappy, I think.
Of course, I’ve always wanted to see these two fail miserably, but only because their painting o’ love is so sad. It includes a handprint, for God’s sake:
I swear I’m totally happy myself, though.
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You’re not alone in hating these people. I’d definitely would not enjoy talking to any of these people at a party. First guy’s obviously a jerk. Second couple’s obviously super-pretentious.
I think I’d like talking to them at a party, actually, but only to smugly slip mention of my vastly superior non-eHarmony relationship into every sentence.
Not that I don’t appreciate what the ads are trying to do. I don’t know how every single person in the entire country (or at least the straight, Christian ones) hasn’t been suckered into signing up after seeing some of these.
My personality profile was rejected by e-harmony, they forwarded it to the FBI, always read those terms and conditions.
Were you rejected for being atheist or asexual?
That’s the thing, they don’t tell you, they just leave you wondering.
Haters
Here’s another one for you: the second video is entitled “Tanyalee and Johsua”. So now I hate whoever titled the video and misspelled the dude’s name, too.
I HATE eHarmony. HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE. According to them, I’m compatible at the deepest levels only with toothless rednecks with seventh-grade educations.
Match.com is no better. So I decided to try CatholicMatch.com, which might as well have been called CatholicMutants.com. The discussion boards were all about the evils of Sex and the City and whether or not tongue-kissing is a mortal or a venial sin.
HATE.
At this point, I am well and truly convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that my dating days are past. Not that I didn’t enjoy them (I’m one of those freaks who actually LOVES dating), but I would have enjoyed them a lot MORE had I known how quickly they would be over.
In other words, I would have acted a lot sluttier.
I’d never heard the word “venial” before, so at least some good has come of this.
Are you only compatible with those toothless rednecks because they’re the only men in a 20-mile range from you? Maybe it’s time to look into dating your brothers.
I really think eHarmony is for people with no discernible personality whatsoever. The only couples I know who have met through the site are types who have no requirements for how their mates should act/look or what they should like to do/watch/listen to. So yeah, I don’t think it’s right for you.
But seriously, you’re done dating?!
Funny. Nathan is one of the pickiest people I know and he still managed to find someone to his liking on e-Harmony. Then again, I’m sure he didn’t care much about the things we would care about — like taste in music and movies and whatnot. He just liked that she was a doctor and a virgin.
You would be the worst eHarmony telesales lady in the world.
I forgot to ask:
What would you and Kamran put on your painting o’ love?
Probably your face.
mwa ha ha. dancing at 5am covered in plaster dust…so romantic. (barf) that girl annoyed me beyond words.
i actually work with a woman who met a guy on eharmony and they are now happily married. he wasn’t a serial killer, man-child, or anything like that. he’s a teacher and my hubs actually went to school with him. :)
there are 1 or 2 normal people on eharmony…you just have to wade through the million or so freaks first.