In my incredibly important role as an executive assistant, I have to talk to a lot of really retarded people (none of which is my boss, I’d like to emphasize, in case he ever reads this). But none of these is more retarded than the IT telemarketer. This is the guy who never EVER bothers to look up the name of the IT manager at your location but just calls and casually tells you–obviously on speakerphone, because his legs are kicked up on his desk and he’s busy practicing his old frat’s secret handshake–to connect him to whoever happens to be the head of your IT department. Having a superiority complex and an intense desire to lose my job over something stupid like being snotty to salesmen, I make absolutely no effort to mask the loathing in my voice from these cretins.
HOWEVER, I just received a call from one at an NYC company called Axispoint and was uncharacteristically nice to him, simply because I was coming off a delicious chicken meatball lunch and had really enjoyed IMing Dr. Boyfriend about being excited to “warm up my ‘balls” all morning long. But as soon as I uncharacteristically nicely told this guy that we don’t even keep an IT department at our location–particularly ironic since we’re a software company–he just went and HUNG UP ON ME.
Can you believe it? I am the one who hangs up on people. I am underpaid one who has to talk to retards all day. I have a singsong voice that demands telemarketers to stay on the line longer. But not this guy.
I checked my call log, and of course I have his number from my caller ID. So what should I do with it?
9 Comments
I had a terrific one today – the telemarketer thought that “LA” was the abbreviation for IOWA.
Him: “So what is LA?”
Me: “LOUISIANA.”
Him: “So what’s the abbreviation for Iowa?”
I can see how he got that.
L.A. = Los Angeles = hot blondes in convertibles = Des Moines
Make a fake resume for an IT Manager and post it to Monster.com with his phone number. How’s that for a taste of his own medicine!
Oooooh, brilliant. Maybe I’ll just copy and paste the resume of the unparalleled Charles Robinson.
It’s really illegal to post it?
How about using his phone number to sign up to volunteer for both presidential campaigns?
I don’t know that it is. It seems like corporations shouldn’t be entitled to privacy like citizens are, but Kamran hasn’t been through enough law school to tell me for sure.
I’d like to think I’d be safe just signing him up for the Obama campaign, since surely douchebags only vote for McCain, but Eric Leath proves otherwise.
The campaign thing is a good one… I’d say make him an ad on NYC craiglist… a really salacious one.
Actually, I think you’re the original Tina, but I’m sure the real Other Tina won’t mind that you’ve relegated yourself to that status.
Please provide nudes of your boyfriend for use in my ad a-sap.
Haha that reminds me of when I was working for Obama during the primaries… I would get on Myspace and message people that were Barack’s myspace friends and ask them to come to Ohio to volunteer. Well one guy wrote back:
Hey Tina,
I will check into it and see what I can do with work and everything… I was already planning on at least making phone calls but if I can arrange it— count me in. Will let you know ASAP. :)
Sexy-Hot BF too btw :)
~ted