Category Archives: potty mouth

Ettiquett: Rules for Bathroom Behavior

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image from the 90s Candie’s Jenny McCarthy ad campaign

No one wants to talk to you in the bathroom, weirdo!


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Poo-Pourri: potpourri for your poo.

This is my dad, demonstrating the face my stepmom makes in response to his bathroom dealings and the reason she bought this for him for Christmas.

How Many Times Can I Talk About Excrement in One Post?

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A pretty fountain in the gardens outside of Kamran’s apartment building that speaks of a grander time when you noticed the 1920s handmade Italian tiles on the sides of the buildings more than the streaks of not-quite-cleaned-up-well-enough dog poo on the sidewalks. Not that I blame them. Touching feces through a plastic bag is still touching feces.

Tudor City Greens

And speaking of poo, I finally posted another poll on IS IT PEE-PEE? today. This one was motivated by Dishy of The Daily Dish and The Daily Dish, and her hilarious bloggin’ daughter, Madison.

What’s Going on in There?

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The door to the women’s restroom in one of my company’s offices. Intriguing.

My Boyfriend or My Butt: A Conundrum

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I hate to admit that advertisements sometimes work on me. I used to have a roommate who would mute the TV every time the commercials came on so she could avoid being sold to, and I always loved her for that. The advent of the DVR has obviously made it easier to live commercial-freer, but I’m still met with ads I can’t ignore on the streets and subways.

And it’s not always a bad thing. After seeing FreshDirect trucks all over town, I finally convinced the ever-reluctant Kamran to try it, and it turned out to be kind of life-changing for us. Not only is it much less expensive than Manhattan-based grocery stores because they don’t have to pay Manhattan rent, but they also offer the kind of selection you could never find at small Manhattan retailers. We used to have to make a choice every weekend to walk in one direction to the health food store or in the other direction to the traditional grocery store, but FreshDirect has both your traditional (meaning terrible) items like sugar-free Jell-o and your local, organic, pastured, antibiotic-free stuff. And they deliver it right to your door. Swoon.

I have a problem, though. Last night, I saw an ad on the subway for, and when I checked it this morning, I found that they have my lotion, my powder foundation, and my shampoo at Ohio prices. (Yes, I kind of feel bad about not supporting my local economy, but I feel worse about paying $9 for a $5 bottle of mostly water.) So obviously I want to order from them, but here’s my dilemma: they have the toilet paper Kamran likes but that none of our local stores carry. I don’t like it because of the way dust-like miniscule paper particles fly all over the place every time I rip a sheet off, but I think he really misses the stuff.

Do I order from them, save a bunch of money, get my bathroom essentials delivered for free, and risk having a dusty bum again? Or do I go to a retail store, pay Manhattan prices, and continue to ruin Kamran’s life with my super-soft, non-shreddy toilet paper?