Sometimes I look through the folder on my hard drive full of things I intend to post here, and I find screenshots from chats with Kamran like this:
WTF?
I had to Google image search it just to see if I’d ever posted it before, and while I didn’t find it, I did find something else, which I had to post on the new blog Tracey’s graciously sharing with me, because I apparently still don’t have enough of an online presence to suit myself.
Kamran’s simulated crash face does not in any way reflect how our trip to Atlantic City on Greyhound’s Lucky Streak Bus went:
However, this is a fairly accurate portrayal of his feelings toward wearing a seatbelt on public transportation:
A full report is forthcoming.
Happy birthday to my big juicy Kamburger!
It’s a pleasure to spend another birthday with you, Kameroon, and not just because you’ve agreed to do all of the things I want to on your special day.
It’s funny to find myself nostalgic and grossly sentimental for the city I currently live in. I saw this ring from Henri Bendel in Time Out New York on the train the other morning and had a moment of heart palpitations.
I guess I have a special attachment to the Chrysler Building since dating Kamran, who goes to bed every night with it shining in his window, and since we took this photo in front of it two whole years ago. When I asked my brother-in-law to design a sticker for me and he sent a drawing with a skyline, I specifically asked if he could change one of the buildings to the Chrysler.
I don’t know if I love it enough to special order a $720 gold (gold?!) ring modeled after it, but it makes me sad to imagine not seeing it every day.
I’m interested–are there things in your city you feel this way about?
Today marks the third anniversary of the day Kamran and I met at S’MAC in the East Village for macaroni, cheese, and a first date for the ages. I wore a black hoodie and old jeans because I thought I wasn’t going to care to impress him, and he said things like, “I spent the past six years living in New Jersey,” when he meant, “I spent the past six years earning my PH.D. FROM PRINCETON.” Afterward, he charmed the pants off of me (not literally) by taking me for drinks at a bar with red velvet furniture and telling me all about his guilty pleasure bands.
As we parted at the train station later, he said, “I’ll call you,” and I said, “Thanks for taking me out,” and he said, “The pleasure was mine,” which seemed really slick and grown-up at the time but would later turn out to be something he says on a daily basis. I gave him a hug to signal that he had my permission to run the hell away and never call me again, but he said, “I’m still going to wait until your train comes.” I said, “But we’ve already said goodbye! Now we’re gonna be all awkward.” He asked, “What’s better than two goodbyes?”, and I said, “No goodbyes.” Sexy!
Most days feel just as exciting as that first one did, and the days that don’t feel exciting still feel full of a deep, understanding love that I couldn’t even imagine until I met him but now probably take for granted because it feels like such a part of me. Even after three years, it still seems like our time together has just begun, and I hope that we end up just like the eternal embrace skeletons.
Even if it’s just because we strangled each other to death.
I love Kelly and her adventures in independence over at Bachelor Girl, but I’ve always thought people who live alone are crazy. Whereas I seem to go home to Ohio once a month these days, Kamran only gets to visit his family in California about twice a year because of work and law school, so I’m not used to being here without him. When he scheduled a trip home for this past weekend, this whole week, AND next weekend, I wasn’t sure I’d last ’til this morning. And then my best New York friend, Beth, announced that she was leaving for vacation, too. And then my best best friend, Tracey, announced that she and her husband were going to visit their in-laws and wouldn’t be available to chat. THE HORROR.
Kam and I took a cab to the airport on Saturday morning, where we enjoyed hot dogs wrapped in soft pretzel material, and then I creepily watched him go through the security line and waved to him and blew kisses every time he dared to look out of the corner of his eye to see if I was still there. And then I rode the bus and the subway back into Manhattan (because I’m cheap), decided I might as well cook for myself without someone there to take me out to dinner, and actually bought groceries for the first time in . . . so many months I can’t count. It felt terrible.
Other Things I Did Without Kamran Here to Entertain Me
1) Went to the gym on both Saturday and Sunday, allowing me to watch a whole lotta “Lost” season 5 on my iPod, and allowing me to grow to hate Ilana even more.
2) Whipped up some vanilla pudding, decided it was too plain, and swirled powdered Nesquik in for flavor. Don’t tell Kamran.
3) Watched the episode of “Degrassi: The Next Generation” where Alli decides to give it up to Johnny in the back of a van down by the ravine, only to discover that she totally wasn’t ready. When she confides in Johnny that she’s not going to DO IT again for a long time, he admits that he was a virgin, too. SWOON!
4) Cooked pasta, made pasta sauce, seasoned sausage to put in it and DID NOT HATE IT.
5) Saw District 9 with Jack, Eric, Eric’s girlfriend Christine, Nik, Jack’s friend Chris, Chris’s sister Vanessa, and Jack’s friend Andrew. Jizzed in my pants a little the first time we saw the aliens up in the ship.
6) Didn’t leave Kamran’s apartment building a single time on Sunday, but did leave the apartment itself to get a bag of Doritos (Cool Ranch, of course) from the convenience store downstairs. Planned to finish them all myself just to spite Kamran but sadly couldn’t hang.
7) Began watching season 2 of “Mad Men” without ever watching season 1. Felt like I may have missed out on some important stuff–Joan being a bitch, Peggy giving her baby up, a whole lot of women cheating on their husbands–but enjoyed it nonetheless.
8.) Caught up on “Big Brother 11″, which is not embarrassing, and I refuse to feel guilty about it.
9) Realized that watching so much television is a little bit sad without Kamran there to make me feel like I’m being social.
10) Slept diagonally across the bed and found myself waking up with a smile on my face. (Sorry, Kam.)
So all in all, it wasn’t the worst weekend of my life. However, in less than 48 hours, I must have texted Kamran 15 times to tell him I missed him, so it’s probably safe to say I couldn’t make a lifelong go of this. And here’s the great thing about being alone for a week versus being alone for life:
When a nerdy-yet-pompous grad student across from me on the train in Queens started telling his nerdy-yet-pompous friend about a dream he had where he was making out with some chick (who was no doubt too hot for him) at some party (that he’d never actually be invited to), I got to put on my headphones and let Hot Hot Heat block them out instead of hanging onto their every word while trying to decide if giving up all of my self-worth was worth it for a date with one of them.
After a tip from my super-Innanet-savvy co-worker Anthony, I sent Kamran this graphic from doodie.com:
And then we said this:
a) That’s why I love him, and
b) that’s why I love Gmail Chat.
After a rooftop barbeque in Brooklyn on Saturday night, our friend Jeff offered to drop us off at Kamran’s apartment on his way home. As Kamran and I buckled ourselves in, we realized that in nearly three years of dating, it was the first time we’d ever been in a car together.
How totally New York City is that?
I came up near to you
My arm around your waist
I was wanting to get to know you
Lean in and get a taste
I could hear your heart beating
And I found I wanted to eat your heart up
Chew it up and swallow
Get your blood to flow through my head
Oh no . . .
If I were to eat your heart up
And get your blood to flow in my wake
I’d be on to make the same mistake again
With someone else
You would be so easy to eat
You would be so easy to eat
You would be so easy to eat
– The Blow, “My Heart”
Kamran and I get a little too excited when we jinx:
And now I’m going to Ohio to see the 4th of July fireworks!, because inexplicably, New York fireworks suck. And these things matter.
My friend Beth and I went to see Adventureland last night in its last night at the theatre near Union Square. It features Bill Hader, who I have totally seen twice while living in New York, but even without an appearance by one of my very best friends I’ve never actually spoken to, it was a seriously great movie: funny, beautiful, and very touching.
I’m not going to spoil anything for you, but I loved that New York–where I live now–was idling in the background while the characters lived out their lives in the Midwest, where I’m from. Everything they did felt so familiar to me, so college-y and carefree, and I got very nostalgic for those simpler days when I was all idealistic about what I’d make of myself. At the same time, the relationship in it felt so much like what I have now with the good doctor; all of the excitement and the closeness they felt was exactly what I feel with Kamran. There was a point when Kristen Stewart–who is totally great in this movie, for all of you who hated her after Twilight (which I didn’t see but heard horrible things about)–looks at Jesse Eisenberg and says something like, “You’re the coolest boy I’ve ever met. And the cutest.” And I totally made out with Beth at that moment and pretended it was Kamran, because that’s just what I think about him.
ANYWAY, did anyone else see this thing? Am I the only one who liked it?
I’m leaving work early today to go to one of a long line of scholarship receptions for Dr. Boyfriend. Because even though the law firm where he’s a patent agent is paying for him to go to law school, he’s a genius and can’t avoid getting money thrown at him.
For some reason, I get all excited about these receptions. I just think it’s so neat that he works full-time and somehow still manages to be at the top of his class (mostly by staying home and reading cases when he should be taking his lady out dancing) that I feel sort of like a proud mother when the invitations come in the mail. I think about how the dean of the school will fawn over him, and how I’ll embarrass myself trying to make everyone laugh, and how we’ll fill up on cured meats and cookies.
But what I never remember is that by the end of them, this always happens:
I was watching Dr. Boyfriend try on pants in the Banana Republic dressing room last week
and in my boredom, decided to try on his glasses:
So what do you think? When I get my new pair of glasses (say, this weekend), should I get the exact same pair?
WOULDN’T WE BE TOO ADORABLE FOR WORDS?!
Kamran: I got salad, but I got too much.
1.5 lbs worth.
Defeats the healthy point a little.
me: Dang!
Kamran: I know, right?
me: Well, you’re a growing boy.
Kamran: Yea. I’m growing a strong gravitational field with all the mass I’m accumulating.
me: You keep pulling me into you.
Kamran: I got you in my orbit.
me: Along with a bunch of dust and metal.
Kamran: You’re my favorite orbital debris.
My Iranian (pronounced ih-RON-ee-an) boyfriend informs me that tonight is the Persian festival Chaharshanbe Suri! YES! My absolute favourite Persian holiday!!!
No, I didn’t know what it was, either, so Kamran sent me the Wikipedia link, and here’s the best part:
The tradition includes people going into the streets and alleys to make fires, and jump over them while singing the traditional song, Sorkhi-ye to az man; Zardi-ye man az to. The literal translation is, Your fiery red color is mine, and my sickly yellow paleness is yours.
This is a face that’s never seen yellow paleness, am I right?
I, I got you in my pocket
For when I get home
Keep you in my pocket
For when I get home
I keep you in my pocket
For when I get home
When I get home, when I get home
– Born Ruffians, “Badonkadonkey”
Dr. Boyfriend evidently caught on to the fact that I was boooooooooored last weekend and decided to fulfill my need for mind-blowing adventure and enough excitement to satisfy for days by
BUT. He bought us some truffles from the Godiva store downstairs, which actually were so mind-blowing and satisfying that they made us make faces like this:
And if that isn’t gross enough for you, they also made us make faces like this:
And that is the best you can hope for on a Saturday afternoon in February when your boyfriend’s in law school and you have no life outside of him.
This is a video of Kamran personifying a coconut while we were at the grocery store one Sunday afternoon. (I hate it when people say simply grocery instead of grocery store.) This coconut act was super-hilarious at the time to me, as evidenced by all of the snorting I’m doing behind the camera to hold in my laughter. Now I mostly just like it because Kamran looks amazingly cute at the end.
This is how I feel right now.
Luckily, tomorrow night is my dance-a-thon fake-birthday party with all of my co-workers, and I’m pumped to see someone get down in a way so awful we’ll all still remember it come Monday morning. And I’m expecting that that person to be me.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, my friend Sonya and I are off to buy some gold lamé tights for the occasion.
Dearest Kameroon,
I’ll save everyone the monotony of hearing yet again that you’re the smartest, prettiest, funniest, most creative, biggest-vocabulary-having boy I know and instead just let this 90s alternative superband say it all.
I love you infinity times infinity plus one.
Yours,
Katie
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