Every time they show one of the Real Housewives of New York or New Jersey out to eat, all I can think is, “If you’re making five figures per episode, why are you dining at a restaurant I’ve never heard of?”
Not to be a snob.
Category Archives: a taste for tv
They Grow Up So Fast
Along with turning my brain to mush and making me think I might want to do something ridiculous like go to culinary school when I can’t even eat tomatoes, reality TV shows are currently making me question how much of an old lady I am.
It started yesterday afternoon with this woman, Courtney Kerr, when I saw an episode of “Most Eligible Dallas” on Bravo:
As soon as I saw her, I thought, “God, why does Bravo keep doing shows about old people?” But then I realized that their demographic is probably the middle-aged housewife living out in the middle of nowhere (i.e. Dallas) and not the twentysomething wannabe-culturehound living in NYC.
But THEN I saw her age flash across the screen: twenty-nine.
That is what a 29-year-old woman looks like? I was under the impression that this person was in her late 30s or early 40s and had maybe had some work done.
Then I saw the age of another of Dallas’s supposedly most eligible:
Early 40s, right? Or, like, maybe even 60 but with a decent plastic surgeon. But no, she’s TWENTY-THREE! Is that even possible?
Then there are these two from “MasterChef”:
Adrien, 28, and Jennifer, 34. To me, Adrien looks solidly in his 30s, and Jennifer could be Helen Mirren’s slightly younger sister.
I’m not saying any of these people look bad, but none of them look remotely close to the image I have of myself. I know I look older than your average college student, because when I look at girls who are 21 or 22, they look like babies to me. Like, almost to the point that they seem a little gross and unwashed. Maybe a little drooly, even.
But when I look at all of these people, I feel like I’m the baby. Does the camera add ten years in addition to ten pounds, or do I just look like an old lady in my late 20s and not realize it?
“Big Brother” and the Inability to Accept Compliments
Filed under a taste for tv, why i'm better than everyone else
Tagged as a taste for tv, big brother, why i'm better than everyone else
Tagged as a taste for tv, big brother, why i'm better than everyone else
Like the other 99% of Americans who think “Big Brother” season 13′s Rachel is catty, fake, pathetic, and trainwrecky, I saw right through her ruse about Cassie being a threat and a liar. Cassie is pretty and sweet, and Rachel is pock-faced and bitchy. (When the Head of Household trivia competition revealed that America thinks Porsche’s more likely to steal a man than Rachel is, Kamran said it’s not because Rachel doesn’t want to be a homewrecker but because no other man would ever have her.) (Also, yes, there is a woman on “Big Brother” named after a car.) I was as disappointed as anyone when Cassie was voted off, but I was even more disappointed by her exchange with host Julie Chen in her “reaction” interview:
Cassie did such a great job of not saying, “I am pretty and therefore everyone hated me,” but twice she made fun of herself for not even trying to look good while on the show, and twice when Julie said, “But you still looked gorgeous,” Cassie ignored the compliment. I don’t know why, but that makes me so uncomfortable. I don’t think my parents taught me to duck compliments, but somewhere along the way, I started laughing off or denying most nice things people might say to me. And it seems like it’s that way with a lot of the really talented people I know, too. Kamran, for instance, told me he went to “grad school in New Jersey” on our first date instead of bragging that he got his Ph.D. from Princeton. And my best friend, Tracey, will never tell you that she’s an amazing writer/scrapbooker/singer.
It’s like we all think looking like we all have no self-esteem is favorable to just saying “thank you”. Or maybe we’re all so secretly full of ourselves that we know our answer to any compliment will accidentally be, “I know, right?”
Haha, Remember When Sitcoms Starring Black People Used to Be on Primetime Television?
Filed under a taste for tv, creepy boyfriend obsession, living in new york is neat
Tagged as a taste for tv, creepy boyfriend obsession, living in new york is neat
Tagged as a taste for tv, creepy boyfriend obsession, living in new york is neat
Remember the 80s sitcom “227” starring Jackée Harry as Sandra and Marla Gibbs as Mary? Well, Kamran and I both grew up watching it, and now he loves to say “Mary” in the way that Jackée used to on the show. Which is of course something more like MAAAAAAAAAAY-ree.
And every time he does it, it CRACKS ME UP. It’s never less funny to me.
So we were on our way to our so-so dinner at Flex Mussels the other night when we spotted this doorway and somehow thought it was so serendipitous:
Of course, as soon as we took it, we realized that there’s a 227 on basically every street in NYC. But still!
The Strange Places Your Favourite 1998 Rockstar Shows Up
Filed under a taste for tv, i used to be so cool, music is my boyfriend
Tagged as a taste for tv, criminal minds, gavin rossdale, i used to be so cool, music is my boyfriend
Tagged as a taste for tv, criminal minds, gavin rossdale, i used to be so cool, music is my boyfriend
Kamran’s DVR has been 97% full for weeks now thanks to all of the “Criminal Minds” I’ve been recording from multiple channels, so I try to knock an episode or two or five out whenever I can. This morning while I was getting ready, I pulled up one with an intriguing synopsis about murders coinciding with a rock star’s tour schedule.
It started out with a band covering Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart”, one of the best songs ever, and I thought, “Hey, this is actually pretty good.” The lead singer’s Robert-Smith-esque white face and red lips were a bit copycat-ish for my taste, but his performance was so confident and real-rock-star-like that I couldn’t help but want to see more.
I thought, “How great must it be for this local band to get a break like this?” I thought, “This must be the greatest moment of their lives.”
And then I thought, “Wait, is that Gavin Rossdale?”
Now that I watch it again, it’s so obviously his voice. His perfect, perfect voice. So instead of it being some local band trying to catch a break, it’s actually a completely washed-out former rockstar now relegated to a TV crime drama.
And I couldn’t be happier! Now if only Daniel Johns from silverchair and Matthew Caws from Nada Surf would do episodes of “Law & Order” and “Burn Notice”, my high school lead singer crush trifecta would be complete.
