The First Love

Filed under creepy boyfriend obsession

You know what’s annoying? Waking up one morning and realizing you’ve had your First Love and you’ll never get it back. Not that I regret who I gave it to, and not that I would change anything. It’s just that I saved that thing for so long from boyfriends who didn’t quite have the stuff to wrestle it from me, and it feels strange to know I can’t have it back to give away again. Every relationship after this will be built on the dead body of KamKat.

Emo Katie is emo.

Emo Katie

Tell me about your first love.


  1. Noel says:

    This is exactly what I have been thinking about lately, mostly because of that wonderful godforsaken book which you must read as soon as possible.

    I think you’ve inspired me to blog about it.

  2. Serial says:

    That was your first love? I started falling in love early, and I’ve done it over and over again. Many of them didn’t deserve it.

  3. Katie Qué says:

    I can’t tell you about my first love because I’ve never been in love ever. EVER. Unless you count Boo, in which case my life is sadder than I thought.

    But I seriously worry I will die without ever feeling love. Is that not the most emo thing you’ve ever heard?

    This is getting too serious. Hearts. Bye.

  4. Bob Dole says:

    Love is a callus you have to build up.

  5. Tina says:

    I think about this often. I’ve loved three times and each time has been very different from the one before it. There is just nothing that can compare with that all-encompassing “OMG this person thinks I’m awesome and I think they are awesome too!!!” feeling that comes with your first love.

    It often bums me out that I wasn’t my current man’s first love and that he wasn’t mine…

  6. Kim says:

    My second love was way better, but I didn’t regret the first one.
    I hope that’s what happens for you, too.

  7. caropal says:

    David and I actually have told each other that we’re happy that we weren’t each other’s first loves. We’ve both loved and lost before, and we know that it’s not just about loving someone to make a lasting relationship. With David, it was not just how much we love each other, but also our aligned goals and dreams, and the fact that we’re each other’s biggest cheerleaders. There’s more to it, of course, but those are the big ones.

    People say that you shouldn’t compare old relationships to your new ones, and that’s definitely fair. At first. Honestly, I’ve compared my relationship tons of times to previous relationships, and I’m so happy in the one I have. There were benefits to every relationship, absolutely. But there were serious flaws. One of my relationship’s biggest flaw was that he didn’t show me that he wanted to be with me (which, it turned out, was because he didn’t want to be with me). David has always, always, always shown me, and told me that he wants to be with me. (We’re very clear: we don’t need each other. We WANT each other.)

    You will find someone who may not be able to afford to take you to all of the amazing restaurants you used to go to with Kam, but would never dream of choosing a life without you. David was the best choice I ever made. Someone else will realize the same thing about you, and you about him. (And, hey! Maybe he WILL be able to afford those restaurants! Two for one!)

    • Cassie says:

      I agree with this completely. Because with my first love I was a complete fool. I changed for him, did all the things I shouldn’t have done and I was the only person to blame.

      My second love? Love of my life and there will never be another man for me. I want that for you.

      • Kelly Powell says:

        Also agree. All the relationships (some good, some HORRIFIC) I’ve had prepared me, each in its own way, for The Guy. Who is the best Guy on Earth, in my humble opinion.

        One of my ex-boyfriends is, to this day, one of my best friends and most trusted advisers (and his wife, who is aces, is also one of my best friends). And The Guy likes and trusts him as well – so much, in fact, that we recently asked him to be the executor of our wills.

        I have a sneaking suspicion that KamKat has a much higher purpose than being a yardstick by which to measure all other relationships.

  8. facie says:

    After my first and especially after my second heartbreak, I thought how nice it would be to be able to love just one person; it was just so damn sad to think about giving your heart to someone and then having your heart broken.

    But since you asked, my first love was John D, in first grade. I noticed him right away, thought he was cute, so I proceeded to sit next to him. And the teacher proceeded to tell me where I should sit.

    But if you are asking about my first serious love that was actually reciprocated, well, there is something about being in love. It feels magical. But you know, the beauty of loving more than one person is you get to go through the magic more than one time. So although it sucks now (and believe me when I think of the tears I have cried over a broken, lonely heart), think of how cool/great it will be when you get to experience another love…

  9. Ash says:

    My first love was cute, but shallow. I was an idiot 16 year old. I realized very shortly after that he didn’t actually love me. At least you didn’t waste it like THAT.

    My first REAL love lasted 5 and a half years, then I broke his heart. I’m mean. I needed someone who could make me laugh, ‘coz left to my own devices I’m too serious (he was also too serious).

    I’m glad I didn’t marry my first love. I think all my past loves taught me what I really wanted in a relationship.

  10. Jessica R. says:

    My first love taught me a lot about the goods and bads of relationships and prepared me going forward. It wasn’t that I was necessarily jaded, just prepared. It helped me so much when I met my second and true love to see what was so good and amazing about him. 10 years later, I still think he’s pretty great.

  11. bluzdude says:

    First love: High School girlfriend. My time with her taught me that I had no idea what I was doing. I was a good-hearted, but incompetent boyfriend.

    I’m still working on it.

  12. Erin says:

    I like Emo Katie, or at least the picture of her.
    My first love was my husband — I know, major gag-o-rific. But we broke up and got back together about a dozen times over a ten year period, during which we each dated/slept with other people until we finally figured out we hated everyone else more than we hated each other so decided to just go ahead and get married. It’s crazy to love someone so much who can hurt you so badly, but I guess that is exactly why it hurts the way it does.