Three times in the past two years, my friends and I rented a Hamptons beach house in a lazy part of town mere steps from the ocean. It was more impressive than any of our wildest dreams had imagined, and it was $900 per night the first two times and then $700 per night the last time because the kitchen cabinets were being worked on and we had to store our food ten feet from the counter instead of three feet. THE TERROR.
This year, I wanted to get an early start on things and wrote to the owners of the house in January to secure it. It was already booked.
Well, no big deal. There are hundreds of houses to rent out there, and maybe we could find an even better one with a hot tub and a pool table and a tennis court for us to admire and never, ever use. I started checking all of usual rental sites and found some really beautiful places right down the street from our usual house.
For $12,000 a week.
Also $20,000 a week.
And yes, $35,000 a week.
But only $110,000 for the month, so no big deal!
So we instead started looking for a house on the . . . dun Dun DUN . . . Jersey shore.
Not this Jersey shore:
Deeeeeeeeeefinitely not this Jersey shore:
But this one, much, much farther down the shore, so far past even Atlantic City that they actually pronounce it “shore” rather than “show-uh”:
photos by 1Avalon1, marc.cappelletti, Wind Watcher, middleda, fotododo, fotododo, 1Avalon1, Wind Watcher
I’m not saying I don’t still secretly hope to see Vinny there, but hopefully the rest of the Guido juicehead gorillas will be farther up the shore.
See you in a week!