We invited Kamran’s friends Gary and Diana along,
thinking that they might enjoy a trip to The Happiest Place on Earth™ without their two kids in tow. Little did we know that Gary and Diana are Disneyland experts and basically made our visit 100 times better than it would’ve been had we gone alone.
After following these fine folks all the way through Anaheim,
the first thing Gary made me do upon our arrival at the park
was stop by City Hall to tell them it was my birthday and get a special button that entitled me to an entire day of Disney employees being forced to joyfully wish me a happy birthday. Even the guys picking up trash were smiling and calling me by name. It really appealed to the famewhore part of me.
Then Gary ran around like a madman, picking up as many FASTPASS tickets as possible while the rest of us stood in line for the less-popular rides like the Jungle Cruise and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh,
which was trippy as hell.
Pooh looks totally evil here, right?
It meant we were able to bypass the horrendous lines on rides like the Indiana Jones Adventure and Splash Mountain
and make little kids cry as they saw us jog past them and their weak little standing-in-line-for-more-than-an-hour legs. Kamran got a real kick out that, obviously.
We saw the Sleeping Beauty Castle
and figured out that compared to Disney World’s Cinderella Castle, only the Seven Dwarfs could sleep here:
Although staying there is by invitation only, apparently, so even they probably couldn’t.
Stinky dwarf feet and all.
We went on Pirates of the Caribbean twice,
mostly to see this guy suggestively humping his canon:
Right? I’m not just imagining how dirty that is.
After seeing churros cart after churros cart,
we finally bought one, because I swear those things don’t exist at Disney World.
Along with cotton candy.
And a funnel cake.
Which gave Kamran the energy to conquer the feats of strength in Toontown. Which are of course meant for children.
Not that Kamran can in any way be considered adult.
MORE TO COME!