Cheese Belly Spleen Face Redux

Filed under creepy boyfriend obsession, narcissism

Kamran had the top GPA in his law school class for the third straight year, so we went last night to a reception celebrating his genius.

There were other students there to receive certificates just for being on the Dean’s List, and I felt such disgust for how pathetic and lowly they were that I wanted to comfort myself with a cured meats cookie sandwich, but my best friend and I are blogging about our love of low-carb eating these days, and I didn’t want to disappoint all of the people whose lives we’re changing.

So instead I amused myself by making Kamran reenact these amazing photos from another awards ceremony last year:



You think, “Slightly less creepy,” right? But then you see it up close:

It’s no wonder I have nightmares about showering in front of Simon Cowell.


  1. diana stetz says:

    so things haven’t changed since 1996 – still top of the class nerdo i see….

    good for kam kam! yay!

  2. Jack says:

    Yeah, I think he should stick with face #1 from now on.

  3. Joel says:

    I’m slightly more creepified by the guy that’s looking directly into the camera behind Kamran. I’d like to see a close up of that guys face. Or Maybe that’s future kamran time traveling into the past just to show you what that face looks like in the future?

    • This one’s for you, Joel:

      Decidedly less freaky, I think, though still plenty. Clearly Future Kamran has learned to dial back the creep factor.

      • Joel says:

        It’s like he’s looking into my soul. I’m gonna have trouble sleeping tonight. Also, He’s traded in the fork and cookie thing for a wine glass. Future Kamran is even more classy (though He seems like quite the classy guy now).

  4. But he’s so cuuuuute.

  5. Tracey says:

    Backpack straps? Still cute.

    Not the whole backpack, though. Just the straps. I think that should be a new fashion for men.

    • I assume you’re talking about Kamran and not the guy in the background who has his chest strap buckled. Not cute!

      I mean, unless you do that. But chest-strap-bound boobies seem kind of sexy.

      • Tracey says:

        Of course I mean Kamran! The chest strap is a huge mistake. Not as bad as the backpack on wheels that you pull behind you, but pretty close.

        Remember how many grad students used to pull their backpacks around when we were undergrads? I’m SO glad that trend was completely nonexistent while I was getting my master’s. I would have made so many enemies for making fun of everyone who did it.

  6. Kinard says:

    Two words: He. Would. (Im mean because I’m jealous. I wasn’t the top anything in my law school class, except for maybe top awesome.)

    • I’ll bet top awesome doesn’t get a COOKIE BAR with which to make PROSCIUTTO COOKIE SANDWICHES.

      You probably got a lot fewer wedgies from the non-nerds than Kamran does, though, so it all evens out.

  7. tory says:

    I hope these photos don’t crop up when Kamran is about to be nominated for the Supreme Court. I could just see an elderly Bill O Reilly tearing them apart: “If this is not the face of a crazed Islamofascist terrorist sympathizer I don’t know what is…”