I’m Going to California, and I May Not Come Back If the Grilled Cheese Truck is Good Enough

Filed under creepy boyfriend obsession, travels

I sing Phantom Planet’s “California” nearly every time my friends and I do karaoke. I’ve loved the song since 2002, long before it was the theme song to a stupid teen drama, long before teen dramas about California were a thing, and long before I met Kamran.

By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be sharing a snackbox with him on our way to Orange County for 10 days of:

• In-N-Out burgers

• quality time with his family, which hopefully will include plenty of watching “Bonanza” and eating Persian dishes full of pomegranate and blackened pickled vegetables

• DISNEYLAND! with his friends Gary and Diana (but not their kids mwahahahaha)

• his friend Diana’s wedding, which I assume will not involve homemade moonshine, UNLIKE OTHER WEDDINGS I HAVE RECENTLY ATTENDED (god bless you, Ohio)

• trying out my Farsi on his parents (so far, I can say poop, pee, hungry, and thirsty, so obviously they will be impressed)

• hot dogs from Pink’s, where the line is apparently as long as it is here for Shake Shack

• Alberto’s carne asada burritos

• touring the San Juan Capistrano Mission (and reenacting scenes from The Birds using the Barbie my best friend bought for me)

• anything from Del Taco (because, come on, it translates to of the taco)

• a day-long tour of L.A. that includes Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles, the Santa Monica pier, maybe not going to the Chinese Theatre unless someone tells us we have to, and a very adult dinner with his uncle that will include quiet conversation

• generally being in Laguna and acting like a semi-retarded teenager

Obviously I’ll be singing “California” while we do every single one of these things, too. Look forward to the videos.


  1. caropal says:

    I am from California, and I approve of this list.

  2. Serial says:

    Oh lord. In-N-Out, Roscoes, Persian food! Dreamy.

    Why on earth Del Taco made it on that list, though, I can’t figger.

  3. Kim says:

    Del Taco is one of those revered food chains I don’t get. Much like how Chick-fil-A is adored by southerners. That was fried chicken on a smushy white bun, while Del Taco was a smushy fast food burrito, no better than Taco Bell, that I was supposed to order FRIES with or some nonsense. None of this computes for me. It’s all mushy fast food with special sauces that you know are always just some combination of ketchup and mayonnaise and other klassy stuff.

    What I mean is, have fun! The parents will love you! Say hi to LC for me if you see her! I’m going to go have lobster.

    Oh, also, I like that song too. But I also liked the horrible show that made it famous. Shocking, I know.

    • Speaking as a traitorous Southerner, I wholeheartedly agree re. Chick-fil-A. I don’t get it. It’s a fried chicken breast and two pickle slices, people. Get over it. It also annoys me that, like Hobby Lobby, they’re closed on Sunday for religious reasons. I am rather religious myself, but I still want to buy scrapbook paper on the Sabbath, and if that’s wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.

      On the other hand, I do rather enjoy their chicken biscuits. Chick-fil-A’s, that is, not Hobby Lobby’s.

  4. Alfagirl says:

    Being from CA, Del Taco cannot be considered actual mexican since french fries are on the menu, as someone mentioned above. And I pretty much can’t stand Disneyland, but you will have a blast.

    No matter what, I end reciting lines from Clueless every time I’m in LA (I’m from the Bay Area so it feels like a totally different state when I’m down there and there are a lot of wanna-be actresses/waitresses that I see that make the lines seem so fitting), so feel free to sing random song lyrics anytime while there.

    And, I will see you soon in La-La-Land. :)

  5. Tracey says:

    I love that that song is on a loop in your head for the duration of your California trip. For me, it was the kid from the movie The Wizard chanting “California”, because he wanted so badly to go there.

  6. Noel says:

    Wow, there’s a great song I haven’t thought about in a long time. Anyway, I just have one question, and I’ve had it for a long time: has Kamran been home with YOU?

  7. have fuuuuuun! :) can’t wait to hear all about the scary persian food you tried.

  8. Bonanza? Persian people have a particular fondness for Bonanza?

    They definitely have better taste in TV than we Louisiana rednecks, who prefer Hee Haw.