Filed under good times at everyone else's expense, jobby jobby job job, my uber-confrontational personality, stuff i hate, why i'm better than everyone else

One of my office pet peeves is when people call me and end the conversation with, “What did you say your name was again?”

It’s always after I’ve been super-unhelpful and/or snarky with the person, because he’s always a telemarketer. I’ll say, “Oh, we don’t have an IT department in this office,” and he’ll say, “Well, where is it?”, and I’ll say, “At your mom’s house.”

And then he’ll say, “What did you say your name was again?”, and of course I haven’t given my name, so I’ll say, “The. Office. Manager.” And I’ll pronounce the like thuh to make him feel stupid.

He actually probably thinks I’m retarded, but I’m okay with that.


  1. bluzdude says:

    You should start working on a long list of Phoebe-like names, like “Lola Falange.” Or double-meaninged names like:
    Jacqueline Hyde
    Barbara Blacksheep
    Rhoda Horst
    Sara Ann Dippity
    Mandy Lifeboats
    Helen Wheels
    Patti Melt

  2. Serial says:

    When I was a telemarketer, I liked to identify myself as Veronica Sawyer.

  3. If Bachelor Girl is ever big/successful/financially solvent enough to have an office, I’m relocating to N.Y.C. and hiring you as the office manager.

  4. Kim says:

    This is awesome. I hate when I have to answer phones that aren’t my own line (like once a day, as the powers that be have realized my tendency toward bitchiness, thank god).

    Among my least favorite regular conversations are the ones that start with “I think someone from your office just called me, who was it?;” “Oh, so-and-so’s extension is going to voicemail, maybe YOUUUUUUU can help me;” and “HI. WHO IS THIS?”


  5. Cristy says:

    Oh, Kim, that is the oldest trick in the book. NOT fun.

    Do people really think you’re going to be all nice when they’re asking who to report you to? Geesh. Grow a brain, dude.

  6. Mike Lowrey says:

    I’m not sure which is more sad, the fact that you used the word Thuh in a sentence or the fact that you don’t have an IT guy like me in the office.