This is NEW YORK CITY, people. We have a reputation to uphold.

Filed under funner times on the bus, good times at everyone else's expense, why i'm better than everyone else

I swear I don’t usually judge people for their clothing choices, but a woman on the bus this morning was pretty clearly wearing a shirt made of fabric showcasing teddy bears in various positions of merrymaking at the beach:

As someone who can’t handle Disney-related clothes on adults and can barely stomach ironic hipster t-shirts covered in nature scenes such as wolves howling at the moon, I’m sort of appalled by this. I wanted to believe it was scrubs, but then I noticed she was wearing really expensive-looking pants with them. Not that having to wear scrubs is an excuse to dress like a baby.

As a side note, the woman in the black dress walking past her shows off way too much leg for an old lady every day when she sits down. Sorry, I needed to get that off my chest.

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23 Comments

  1. cow says:

    merrymaking?

  2. Kim says:

    Okay. Simply due to the fact that I actually find Possible Scrubs to be the least offensive person in this picture (I don’t know exactly what Sweats on the right is wearing, but I’m offended by the outstretched leg lounging because I would trip in a heartbeat; LBD is SO WRONG – it’s incorrect for her body type, we’re being treated to either a view of her bra straps or she’s wearing the hanger straps over her shoulders, not sure which would be worse, and that jersey material is gross and going to fade to grey in like half a wash cycle; and Purple Shirt Blonde outside the door gets a – grudging – pass because I can’t see her really, although I can tell she is carrying a large Longchamp Le Pliage canvas tote in navy, which, approved) I am going to offer her the obvious excuse:

    She’s a pediatric nurse who helps little babies all day, and those white pants just look like hospital attire to me. OR she could be a children’s dental hygienist. DUH. God you’re such a bitch, Katie Ett. I approve.

    Related: I’m consistently amazed by the number of poorly dressed people in New York who aren’t tourists. The only thing that amazes me more is the number of fat people, and the fact that THEY’RE not all tourists either!

    • LBD usually looks better than that (though sluttier), to give her credit, but you’re right about the style being wrong for her, and she was totally looking at me when I took the photo, so I hope she felt self-conscious about it and vowed to throw out the dress. I really feel like posting a photo of people on the bus every day now and letting you pick them apart. Though I will obviously not ever be posting photos of myself again.

      Seriously, though, those pants were not scrubs. They had pockets and buttons and cuffs, and I could’ve worn them into 21 Club without getting kicked out. Actually, I wonder what 21 Club’s policy on scrubs is.

      Also, you are SO RIGHT about the fat people. I mean, I’m from Ohio, so I have an excuse, but when I look around in the mornings at how many subway seats are being taken up two at a time by the obese, I’m amazed. That’s why there should be a special section of train that only runs from 100th Street south. Because rich fat people are okay.

      • Kim says:

        YOU KNOW LBD? Oops.

        You are hardcore, wow. I’d say you should put a disclaimer before you post pictures of people you know so that I can reign in my judgement, but then, I guess that wouldn’t be as fun.

        Sorry, LBD. If it helps, I was a little off when choosing footwear today, and it totally brought my overall outfit down from a 10/10 to like a 9.2/10.

        • Whoa, whoa, no, I don’t know LBD. I just happen to see her 3 mornings out of 5 on the bus and always note her clothes because they’re always so inappropriate for her age.

          I want you to think I’m fabulous by virtue of my friends’ fabulousity, so I’d never post a terrible torso shot of anyone I actually know.

  3. Serial says:

    The woman in the black dress is old? Not being able to see her face, I’d guess she’s like 25.

  4. elise says:

    I agree whole heatedly with you on this, but it kinda looks like the teddy bear wearing lady may have on Scrubs? Maybe she is caring for sick and dying children in the hospital… Maybe… (I hope anyway!)

    • I want to think it, too, but the pants had cuffs and pockets and even decorative buttons. Even if she does work with children, I can’t imagine YOU going around wearing teddy-bear-covered clothes when you’re working from home and playing with your kids; come to NYC more often and be an example for these women.

  5. bluzdude says:

    Now it the bears were performing some kind of “other” merry-making at the beach, I think I could have given a pass.

  6. Tracey says:

    Okay, here’s what I’ll bet happened:

    Teddy Bear Lady was attacked last night. Mugged, perhaps, and her shirt was ripped. Her fashionable pants, however, were unscathed. The nice nurses at the hospital where she was treated for minor scrapes didn’t want to send her home with nothing to wear, but all they had to offer her was this super-embarrassing teddy bear scrubs top. She reluctantly accepted and wished she could take a cab home to avoid the embarrassment of being seen by too many people, but since her wallet had been stolen, she didn’t have the money for one.

    Now. Don’t you feel bad for making fun of her on your blog??

    • YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THIS, BECAUSE YOU WEAR DISNEY SHIRTS.

      I feel better.

      • Sandy says:

        Tracey wears Disney shirts? Yikes.

        • Okay, it’s really only because her husband is a drawer/animator and they went to Disney World for their honeymoon, but I wasn’t going to take that from anyone.

          • Tracey says:

            Thanks for saying this so I didn’t have to.

            I own ONE Disney sweatshirt, purchased on the honeymoon, and it doesn’t even have any pictures of characters on it.

            And I only wear it when I won’t be seen by very many people, even though it’s one of the most comfortable shirts I’ve ever owned.

  7. Erin says:

    Thank goodness you don’t live in Ohio anymore- this would definitely pass around here, like hunting scenes on tee shirts and tableclothes made into shirts/pants combo like my grandma wears (sorry grandma). I feel your pain, but I am so engulfed with poor attire choices among the heathens (rednecks) I can’t even bother to notice anymore.

    • But that’s totally charming in Ohio! Maybe if I hadn’t been born and raised there, I’d feel differently, but when I see my Crazy Aunt Dorothy in her appliqued sweatshirts and elastic-waist pants, it just seems so quaint and homey.

      Of course, these are also the things I remind myself of every time I get homesick and need a reason to not want to move back.

  8. I, too, have sympathy for Teddy Bear Lady.

    See, the other day, Mother of Guy, who is normally a gift-buyer par excellence, gave me a jacket that is…um. Yeah. Anyway.

    Let’s just say that there is absolutely no way I could get hit by a car wearing it, because, in it, I am the human equivalent of a traffic cone on shitty acid.

    So I bet that’s what happened to Teddy Bear Lady. That top was a gift from some beloved family member or friend who had a horrific lapse in taste, and she wore it to tea or something just to be nice, the whole time hoping no itinerant blogger would catch her on film and humiliate her in front of the whole entire internet, KATIE.

  9. Dishy says:

    Maybe she’s a clown who puts on the makeup when she gets to the party?

    An admin at a children’s cancer ward?

    I am trying to think of more, but.. can’t. I am w/ you re: disney clothing.. and the shirt. Also, the leggy dress?? Isn’t that a shirt?

  10. Cristy says:

    All I have to say is, I hope you never see me in person, or if you do, that your cell phone has recently been stolen, so you can’t get evidence. :)