Clearly, I’m Destined for a Long Career in Erotica-Writing

Filed under bigtime celebrity, living in new york is neat

My jack-of-all-trades friend Alan Corey of A Million Bucks by 30: How to Overcome a Crap Job, Stingy Parents, and a Useless Degree to Become a Millionaire Before (or After) Turning Thirty fame is a bigshot over at NabeWise, a new website devoted to revealing what makes NYC and San Francisco neighborhoods worth living in.

He asked me to do a series of guest posts about the neighborhoods I love most . . . in the style of a romance novel. Having never read a single romance novel in my life because I’m too much of a literary elitist, I was obviously the perfect choice for the task.

But they ran my post, anyway!

And it’s almost word-for-word what I sent them! Although the things they decided to leave out were obviously the best parts. Such as the phrase “like a mouthful of man-nectar between parted lips” and my mention of “buttflaps on old-timey pajamas”. Who doesn’t love buttflaps?! What I’m saying is–if you notice the same weird mistakes in the article that I do, rest assured that I wasn’t the one who made them. Not that I need to defend my reputation to you assholes.

Anyway, go read my post! And (please) make all of your friends read it, too, so I’ll have motivation to start on a super-sexy blogging-related Harlequin romance novel.


  1. I refuse to be dissuaded from my novel-writing plans despite the fact that none of you have backed me up here. So ha.

  2. bluzdude says:

    You could have included at lease ONE “heaving bosom.” (or was that one of the edited parts?)

  3. Cassie says:

    “I couldn’t keep Tudor City to myself for long, though. It was too easily accessible by train and bus, too perfect a spot for viewing Manhattanhenge.” <—- Could be changed to: “I couldn’t keep Tudor City to my heaving bosoms long. It was too easily accessible by train, bus and sexy love-dripping ecstasy.

    But that’s just me. You did a fine job. Seriously. Keep it up! (No pun intended.)

  4. Tracey says:

    Now that you’ve finished Twilight, I’m excited to see you write about Williamsburg as if it was a no-sex-until-marriage vampire.

  5. “…the gentle tinkle of tiny dogs peeing on tulips…”

    While the whole post is terrific, this is my favorite part.

    Erotica by Katie Ett? I’d read it.

  6. joshmedsker says:

    katie, do you see the obvious crossover potential here? erotic subway stories about “man-nectar” and footy pajamas? wait, not footy pajamas… old-timer pajamas. old timer or old-timey? hahaha!

    either way, cross the stories over. if CSI can do it, you can do it.


  7. Kim says:

    Needs more bodice-ripping and adultery! And fluids. Oh ew. I said fluids. THIS: “like a mouthful of man-nectar between parted lips” = PERFECTION. Damn editors. Anyway, an admirable first effort. Keep it up. I’ll put your (autographed, glitter pen?) novels next to my Philippa Gregory collection.

    With that, I apologize for not commenting on this forever ago, but I’m going to refuse to respond to your other recent post, the one about blobs and smells. Because I’m a lady, see.