Karaoke Chatroulette

Filed under living in new york is neat

You already know that if you were to ask me what my two favourite things in the world are, I’d answer:

1) karaoke
2) jerking off

So when my friend Emily told me that a bar in our neighborhood was doing Karaoke Chatroulette on Monday nights and that I was destined to see lots of heaving wangs, I was sold. In Legion‘s back room, you’ll walk in to find a young tight-jeaned male or female singing on stage and a projection screen behind him or her showing the performance, our Chatroulette chat partner, and the chat screen.

While our brave friend belts out “Pour Some Sugar on Me”, another girl in a heart-patterned 80s-era sweater types “sup dad” to the old man we’ve randomly been assigned to chat with. When he just stares at us, we next him and see a teenage girl and her boyfriend sitting in bed together, smiling and waving; they ask us to sing some Talking Heads and bounce around every time we say “burning down the house”. We next them and end up with a Ben Gibbard look-alike who plays his guitar along with the karaoker ruining Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy”.

Karaoke Chatroulette at Legion

It was all really PG-rated for the first half-hour I was there, and I was really upset. Emily had promised me girls pleasuring themselves with giant dildos and then pausing to type to us! But then we saw one guy jerking off, and then we saw another and another and another and another AND ANOTHER AND ANOTHER!!

Legion
790 Metropolitan Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11211 (map)

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10 Comments

  1. The Kama Mama says:

    What a bizarre combination of voyeurism and singing. Please, please, please next time you go, sing “Let’s Hear it for the Boys,” but substitute “wangs” for “boys.”

  2. Can I come live with you?

  3. Serial says:

    I hate that I don’t live in New York! Cause I love karaoke and jerking off, too.

  4. Tessa says:

    I’m trying to convince my coworkers to go karaokeing with me before I leave them forever, but I’m afraid they’ll feed me lots of booze — and then they won’t know that I can actually sing. Siiiigh. DECISIONS.

  5. Tracey says:

    It’s one thing to see penises on screen at home, but on that giant-ass screen?! Suuuuuper scary.

  6. Dishy says:

    This reminds me of an Office spoof i saw recently (from the university where my husband works) – it’s about “Technology in the Classroom.” The professor is using his laptop to project his face onto the big screen and the class is horrified. One girl yells out something about having to see it so big up there and it being so wrong..

    The monster sized cocks aside, sounds like a blast.

  7. Dishy says:

    PS: I think I would be traumatized having to experience this w/ a large group of people. As a child, I couldn’t even watch people kissing on TV in front of my parents w/out feeling unbelievably uncomfortable.

  8. Julie says:

    I thought you were making things up when you were talking about the outhouse, but now I know that you are making shit up!

    That, or I am way more sheltered than I ever imagined.

    How can this be possible? I am 29 (ahem, don’t tell) years old now!

    BTW, you totally have to come to my 30th birthday party. My husband is planning it for me and says it is going to be a doozy. Not that it will compare to an evening like this.

  9. Chantee says:

    That might be the greatest story about the Legion I’ve ever heard. Period. Invite me the next time you guys go or fear my wrath!!!

  10. Mike Lowrey says:

    I see my wang daily, so I’ll pass on seeing other dudes wangs. Damn I just threw up in my mouth a little.

    Folks in the DubyaBurg will do anything for attention.
    That’s why we make them live in WBurg!