Booty POP!

Filed under a taste for tv

Dear makers of Booty Pop padded underwear,

I feel that I would be remiss in my duties to my loyal readers if I didn’t try your product and post a detailed review here. You know what it was that won me over? The fact that your sizes are listed as Extra Sweet, Sweet, Sweeter, Sweetest, and Super-Sweet.

My boyfriend and I are concerned, based on the commercial, that Booty Pop will make my already-perfect assets look unnatural, but I’m willing to give them a try. You know, in the name of science.

Booty-lovingly yours,
Katie

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30 Comments

  1. thickcrust says:

    Charles is probably writing a post on this very topic, but your post is different in two key ways: 1. Yours uses the word “remiss” and not the word “tiddays”. 2. After reading your post I didn’t feel like I just experienced someone else’s wet dream.

    I’m sure that #2 comes as a great disappointment to you.

    • Also, mine doesn’t make fun of the backfat of the one larger-sized woman in the video, and it doesn’t talk about how it’s going to be hard to squeeze her “shyt” into a size 12 Booty Pop.

      P.S. Kamran thought your comment was “very hilarious”. I’m trying to convince him to make yours the second blog on his Google Reader. (Note that mine is not the first.)

  2. Jack says:

    So let me get this straight .. Extra Sweet comes *before* Sweet and Super-Sweet comes *after* Sweetest??!?

    • That’s right. Everyone loves models. And everyone has freaky fetishes involving fat girls. But no one cares much for the normal sizes in between.

      MAXIMUMUMER SWEET!!

  3. Do these women not realize that they now have quadra-asses?! In “exciting” colors?!

    Now I’m wondering how many Hollywood stars really do wear Booty Pop panties.

    Your super-sweet
    Kel

    • I enjoy that the one color is called “caramel-nude”. Are they trying to make it so that black women will feel comfortable buying them? They know that “nude” doesn’t refer to their skin tone, but they can convince themselves that they’re caramel-colored?

      I kind of want to buy us four pairs of Booty Pops apiece, have us wear all four pairs at once, and film ourselves as backup dancers in a rap video. Or maybe Hanson’s “Mmmbop”.

  4. Cristy says:

    Wow. I guess we should’ve seen that coming. Geez.

    • I’m going to invent the Belly Pop so that I look pregnant and people offer me their seats on the subway.

      • thickcrust says:

        Can I license the Belly Pop in order to create a version for men? I need to project a better reason for sitting on the subway than my current “I’m sitting because I’ve been on the train a whole lot longer than you”.

        • Maybe I should make you a Penis Pop. I’d have to do some field testing, of course, but I imagine there’s a point where too much crotch right at eye level would make a girl uncomfortable enough to give up her seat to you.

          Alternately, I think your excuse is perfectly valid.

  5. Alfagirl says:

    Is there gum inside the outer “booty shell”, or am I thinking of Blow Pops?

  6. Noel says:

    POP!!

    That noise is infectious!

  7. Alfagirl says:

    Low-income Booty POP: take your cell phone and ipod, put one in each back pocket and you basically get the same effect as the “strategically placed pads.”

  8. Tessa says:

    That felt a lot longer than 2 minutes. My favorite scene is the guy looking up appreciatively, because you just know that he’s going to get her into bed, peel off the Booty Pop panties, and cry into the foamed neoprene.

    You know, some padded-bum panties actually DO help ladies look better (Gok Wan is a master at allocating their very judicious use) — but these just look sloppy. Don’t you kinda want to rewatch it and then write in, telling them exactly how to grade the pads in better for a more natural, seam-free finish?

    • This totally reminds me of the scene in Bridget Jones’s Diary.

      I just never consider that women out there are wearing these sort of things. I barely even think about padded bras. But ever since I saw this commercial, I keep checking out women’s bums and thinking, “Boy, that skirt could really benefit from a Booty Pop.” I’m horrified by myself.

  9. um, no. i don’t need anymore boo-tay, thank you ever so much. my eyes are burning from this whole notion. but the belly pop is sheer genius, especially when used to score seating on mass transit.

  10. Dishy says:

    I haven’t watched the video – i think it’d prove too tempting, but i vote you get curly to give you these and make you review them.

    • I’ve let her know that you’re trying to pimp her out and look forward to a lifetime of butt padding thanks to you.

      • Dishy says:

        You are WELCOME!

        BTW _ CURLY _ send the lovely lady one of those spanz and a fake boobie bra too – she can wear all three and document the wake of drool in her stead. I think before & after shots are MANDATORY.

  11. spaghedeity says:

    i don’t understand! the purpose of the booty POP is to make your ass bigger and sexier, and thus increase the likelihood that someone will want to get into your pants.

    BUT WHEN THAT PERSON GETS INTO YOUR PANTS, ALL THEY WILL FIND IS A LIE.

    • Dishy says:

      HAHAHAHHAHAHHHH!! Sucka!

      PS: Those fake boobie bras also have the same effect. Also, Spankz (sp?) I bet you could do a whole blog post on these things. Now THERE’S something I’d love to read!!

      • Oh, I’m embarrassed that I knew how to spell Spanx in my comment to Aaron a second ago without thinking about it, and you didn’t. That probably tells you too much about me.

    • I don’t know. The Real Housewives of New York, Orange County, New Jersey, etc. all seem to have thousands of dollars of work done each year, and their husbands seem to think it’s not only normal but important. I get the feeling that what you present to the outside world is far less important than what your date knows.

      I can’t wait until Kamran starts taking me to lawyerly events and I have to wear my Booty Pop, my Wonderbra, my Spanx, my weave, my fake eyelashes, and my patent leather shoe with the giant platform on it so you can’t tell that my right leg is 6″ shorter than my left.

  12. Dishy says:

    PPS: Has Curly sent you one yet??! YO! CURLY!!