This is Not a Game of Dress-Up

Filed under narcissism

Kamran said he was going to buy me his glasses for my birthday last year, but then he bought me a Wii instead, so I had to resort to getting myself cheap plastic ones from my local teenybopper store:

Big Glasses

Big Glasses

Please host 80s-themed events and invite me so I have an excuse to wear them and jump into the foreground of every photo you try to take of yourself and your real friends.


  1. Tessa says:

    Is that an aviator zip-type garment? ‘Cause: awesome.

    • Sorry, it’s more like a generic Members Only jacket with puffy sleeves.

      I promise not to wear it while you’re here.

      • Tessa says:

        Oh, don’t you worry. My clothing is so unfashionable it’s teetering on full-circle-to-fashionable-again-next-decade.

        • I look forward to your flannel shirts and tapered-leg jeans with the zippers on the sides.

          • Tessa says:


            Isn’t that kind of thing sorta fashionable again right NOW? No, trust me, it’s another 10 years before my horrors will be worn again — if then.

            • So what were people wearing IN THE YEAR 2000?

              I was wearing polyester bowling shirts, skater jeans, and silver platform sneakers. Preeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure that’s not you.

              • Tessa says:

                I was under the impression fashion generally spun in 20-year cycles… so what I wear is crap from the late ’90s. Crap that was cheap and not particularly fashion-forward even then.

                Shapeless, mid-blue jeans… shapeless, long-sleeve knitted tops… sneakers. You know. That kind of thing.

  2. spaghedeity says:

    hey, that blue jacket looks really cute on kamran.

    AW SNAP.

  3. Serial says:

    You look so much like my late grandmother in the first pic I’m going to have nightmares for weeks.

    But your hair’s way cuter.

    • I’m toooootally excited about being a crotchety old lady, too. I’m going to slap so many young whippersnappers in the knees with my cane on my way into the subway as soon as I hit 65.

      Sorry about your grandmother’s death. And her hair.

  4. Sandy says:

    I’m just gonna go ahead and say what I was thinking, even though it’s mean: Those glasses make you look like Pat from SNL.

    • Someone said that on the link that posted on Facebook! I totally didn’t see it when I posted them, but now I can’t not see it.

      • Sandy says:

        I probably wouldn’t have thought it at ALL if you weren’t making those goofball faces; when she played Pat, she always looked like she was in pain. The pain of not being understood.

  5. You have a standing invitation to all my events, 80s-themed or not…

    …but only if you wear those glasses.

  6. Tracey says:

    I’m sad you didn’t bring those home and wear them out dancing. You and the sunglasses guy would have made a hot pair.

    • Man, you made Kamran so jealous with this, and we didn’t even actually get to dance with him this time!

      Do you think maybe ridiculous glasses give you superhuman extrovert powers? If so, I’m going to buy a pair for you, too, so we can dance with ZAS next time.

  7. Heesa Phadie says:

    I absolutely love these photos! Reminds me of the 50s.

  8. Mike Lowrey says:

    With those glasses on…you look just like the woman that’s been hiding outside my house stalking me.

    I think I should get a restraining order now.

  9. Dishy says:

    girl. you are too damn funny. you do look kind of like a cute indie psychopath, esp. w/ that argyle print behind you.