Jesus, Please Hear My Prayers for an Amazon Kindle, and Please Ignore the Fact that I Call Myself “Very Not” Religious in My Facebook Profile

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I really need an Amazon Kindle. I’m not messing around anymore.

I took this book, Not That Kind of Girl by Carlene Bauer, out of the library that was supposed to be a really well-written girl-who-wants-to-love-Jesus-but-also-likes-rock-music-moves-to-NYC story, and I was prepared to love it, because I used to be very torn between Jesus and rock music, and I moved to NYC, but I didn’t find the book particularly well-written after having read Nicole Krauss’ The History of Love, and I didn’t find it particularly interesting. Plus, it was a bulky hardcover, and I don’t carry a bag big enough to for it to fit in, so I kept leaving it at home, and it was going so slowly I thought I might finish my own novel before I finished it.

It finally came due, and I was going to renew it just to slog through some more, but someone else had reserved it. So I decided to give up on it rather than deal with the overdue charges, but as I was riding the subway to return it to the library, I got to a really juicy part about this boy who liked her and whom she liked and how close they got without ever touching one another, but then I was at my station, and I felt like I needed to return the book since I had ridden two whole stops, so I did, and now I’ll never know what happened with that boy.

If I had an Amazon Kindle, this would never happen. I’d be able to read whenever I wanted to, because the smaller Kindle can fit in any bag. My books would never have a due date, so I could spend as much time as I wanted daydreaming about the boys I never touched and not worry about how slowly I was reading. And I’d be saving the trees by not reading physical books. Is that a legitimate reason for having an e-book reader? I have no idea. Anyway, I would.

OH! OH! And if I read more books, maybe I’d have more than eight friends on Shelfari. You can understand how embarrassing that is.

I have an English degree, people! I should be reading more than one book per year.


  1. Jessica says:

    You can be my fiend on Shelfari if you want!

    Also – if you ever succumb to the iPhone, they have an app that will let you turn it into a Kindle… or the B&N ereader, or you can use the Stanza app to have access to tons of free out of copyright books. I’ve spoiled myself.

    But despite all that, I still love holding a book in my hands. I guess I’m just old fashioned.

    • “You can be my friend if you want” is not the nicest thing someone has ever said to me, but you know I still jumped at the chance.

      I want the Kindle because it’s supposed to be so easy on the eyes. Everyone keeps telling me to wait for the iPad, but I’d never read a book on my computer, so I can’t see the draw.

      I think it’s admirable to be old-fashioned, but I don’t really care for the feel of book paper nor the smell of old books (hilarious, since I worked in a library for a couple of years), so I’m really losing nothing by switching. I’m such a philistine!

      • cow says:

        I’ve read some books on my phone before, talk about wishing to go blind. How can you not like the smell of books?? You might be hip today with an ereader, but wait til books go the way of the record, then you won’t have to switch back to books to be hip, and I always forget to charge everything I own, I tried to listen to a book on tape, or mp3, but I didn’t like the sound of the guy when he read the female parts, and you can’t burn an ebook.

        • I feel like I’m breathing in dust and mold with old books. I might become one of those people who has a roomful of them when I become old and rich, but I’ll never actually read them once they’ve been sitting on the shelf for a year.

          Maybe I’ll hire you to read books to me. I’ll put you in striped cardigans and skinny jeans and make you grow a beard so you can look hip while reading your hip old school books to me. You can skip the female parts.

      • w0nderm0nkey says:

        “I don’t really care for the feel of book paper nor the smell of old books”

        I am the complete opposite. I love the smell of old books and the feel of book paper. It’s makes the whole reading experience better for me.

        I just finished a book that wasn’t the greatest, but I kept reading because the main character worked in a library and always smelled the books before reading them and it a weird way it reminded me of myself. (I probably shouldn’t even admit that I smell the books I take out of the library because now that I think of it that seems a little creepy, but I do and love it!)

  2. Alfagirl says:

    So, you’re reading a book with heavy religious overtones about a conflicted girl who gets close to a boy without ever touching him. Just admit that you’re reading Twilight.

    With your English degree I promise to only make fun f you behind your back. :)

  3. Jami says:

    I had no clue the Shelfari even existed. I’m adding you b/c you have far better taste in books than I do… I would love to steal from your shelf.

    -yah, I’m a quiet reader of your blog. Sorry. :)

    • Oh, oh! King Dork is so good. So good! I heard they were making it into a movie years ago; I wonder what happened to that.

      I also really enjoyed your friendship request message. I’m not above pity.

      • Jami says:

        I had already browsed through your bookshelf and checked that one off as a “plan to read.” …and I totally judged it by the cover. The description just solidified my decision.

        • Oh, yes, I totally stalked your bookshelf before I left you that comment. I’m hoping that having more friends will make me embarrassed about how little I read. Aside from magazines, I mean, which I used to consider non-literature until I began consuming them exclusively.

  4. Jack says:

    First of all, I’m assuming that you’ve already sent a link to this blog entry to Kamran ..

    Secondly, you could try using eBook readers for the BlackBerry like the one that Barnes & Noble released ( or the one that I’ve used in the past on my BlackBerry Bold ( I had a pretty good experience with the Mobipocket reader although instead of paying for ebooks from their store I just downloaded PDF versions of the books and used their own eBook Creator software ( to create the ebook files. From there it was just a process of getting it on my BB memory card and walla. Sure, not much text can fit on the screen (maybe a paragraph or so), but flipping through the “virtual” pages wasn’t a big deal, plus it always remembered where I left off which was nice :)

    P.S. – the boy in your book dies at the end .. or does he ..

    • I already know what Kamran’s getting me for Valentine’s Day, and I did not intend this to be a hint. Unless you know someone at Amazon who wants to give me a deal.

      I would never EVER have the patience to read books on my BlackBerry, but thank you for all of the links and your time nonetheless. Maybe the German office will send us e-book readers for Christmas this year.

      P.S. You’re a jerk.

  5. Noel says:

    Can I ask the obvious: if you want one so badly, why don’t you buy one? And I’d like to hear more about your being torn between Jesus and rock music. I’m hoping that you are speaking figuratively when you say rock music, because otherwise I’m confused.

    I feel like this comment was very serious. That’s no fun.

    • I’m going to buy one, but my credit card is still recovering from Christmas right now. Also, I just bought a TV, and I’d like to think I don’t base all of my happiness on owning gadgets. But I do.

      I’m not speaking figuratively. I grew up in a church where people stood up and suggested that we protest Marilyn Manson performing in Columbus, and my family questioned (for no apparent reason) whether or not I was on drugs when I asked for Bush’s Razorblade Suitcase for Christmas one year. I always felt like I wasn’t a good Christian because I didn’t want to listen to Michael W. Smith. Just like Carlene in the book, I was afraid to tell other Christians what I listed to and watched and liked, because there was a very good chance they’d judge me for it.

      • Noel says:

        Thanks for the explanation. That makes me sad. For what it’s worth, and hopefully what you already know, that’s not the Jesus of the Bible. But to a certain extent that’s my religious upbringing as well (not my parents, thank God, but those around me), so I can completely empathize.

        • You know, I think I met the real Jesus in my last years of college with a home church that I went to just because I liked the people and was still curious to learn more about the Bible. It’s a shame (or a boon, depending on how you view being religious) that I didn’t grow up in that environment, because I might not have been so anti-Christian at that point had I known more loving believers as a kid.

      • Tracey says:

        I see our past in a totally different light now. All this time when you were hiding your musical tastes from your Christian friends and family, you were using rock music to impress and get closer to me. AND IT WORKED.

  6. i lurve my kindle. you can come over and visit it if you want to. mwa ha ha.

  7. Kim says:

    I also want a Kindle! But it’s not because I don’t read often enough, because I read all the time (although I had no idea Shelfari was a thing) but I’m always reading shame books and contorting myself on public transportation trying to hide the covers.

    I hope Amazon gifts you a Kindle, now that you shill.

    Btw, how can I make the squiggly 80s-grade-school-portrait-background-inspired box that appears to the right of my comments be a picture of something awesome, like my hair maybe?

  8. I’d love a Kindle for when I travel, but I lovelovelove the feel and smell of books.

    What can I say? I’m a perv that way.

  9. Julie says:

    Tell me more about this Shelfari thing-a-ma-jig. Once upon a time I set up a Library Thing account, but then it turned out that you could only add 50 books, and I quickly maxed that out and fell out of love with Library Thing. We broke up last year. I’m looking for a new love. Is Shelfari what I’ve been searching for?

    • I had to Google this, but apparently Shelfari allows you to keep an unlimited bookshelf. I haven’t found anything I don’t like about Shelfari, though I admittedly haven’t used it much. I especially like the way you can list books as read, reading, or plan to read; it really helps me keep track of what I’m interested in. Give it a try!