Zombies v. Old Lady Genitals

Filed under there's a difference between films and movies

I saw Zombieland, and like Adventureland, it was entirely meant to showcase how much better than Michael Cera Jesse Eisenberg is. Kamran was worried it was trying to be Shaun of the Dead, but in most ways–many of them involving the lack of puny British accents–it was better:

1) The rules for staying alive.
2) The slow-motion death scenes.
3) The non-lame love story that actually made me like that chick from Superbad.
4) Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson.
5) But mostly Jesse Eisenberg.

The heavy metal soundtrack was an added plus, as was the hilarious cameo by the superfamous actor, which I don’t want to ruin for you in case you, like me, didn’t know it was coming. Woody Harrelson never made me cringe from bad acting, and Abigail Breslin never made me cringe from teenage acne, but a lot of the zombie killings had me wincing. In a good way.

My friend Jack’s Romanian friends thought the movie was disgusting and were shocked that the rest of us liked it, but this was the same night we saw the woman peeing in the street, so maybe we’ve just been desensitized to these things. Go see it and decide which you think is grosser.


  1. kylie says:

    a woman peeing in the street is WAY grosser. but i did love the huge amounts of gratuitous gore. it was pretty cartoony, really. it kind of reminded me of a troma movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vt5G3sC7aI

    • Kamran made me watch Tromeo and Juliet pretty early on in our relationship; I assume that’s a Troma movie. And I assume that if we ever break up, I’ll cite that as one of the reasons.

      • kylie says:

        it is! imho it’s not the BEST troma movie (probably one of the toxic avenger movies would be the best. or class of nuke ’em high.) but no reason to break up with someone! you just don’t ~~get it~~, maaaaaan.

  2. I loved Zombieland so much.

    My favorite part?

    “God bless rednecks. Big trucks and bigger guns.”

    Kind of sums up my family’s whole philosophy on life.

    • Mine, too! And the philosophy of everyone who lives in my hometown other than Tracey! It’s so weird to think that we should be married to Woody Harrelson.