Hatin’ on “More to Love”

Filed under a taste for tv, good times at everyone else's expense, stuff i hate, stuff i like

“More to Love” is my favourite/most hated show on television right now. I was torn between it and “NYC Prep” on the first Tuesday night it aired, but after watching 20 fat women cry nonstop for an hour, I knew I made the right choice, and I’ve been making it every week since.

I’m not a person who believes weight has anything to do with love. I’m not thin, and I’ve loved and been loved in return by all sorts of men, thin and not-thin themselves. (But mostly thin, because fat people are gross. (Kidding.)) These big-boned ladies all truly believe, though, that their one shot at love is this 26-year-old spike-haired real estate developer who likes to eat and doesn’t want a woman who watches her weight.

And they all cry about it throughout every episode. Their skinny friends get hit on at bars. They’ve never had serious boyfriends. They’ve never been on a single date. And there’s a reason for that.

If you’re single–if you’re perpetually single–and you don’t want to be, there’s something wrong with you. There, I said it. Don’t blame it on men being superficial. Blame it on you being a crappy date. Unless you live in the middle of smalltown Iowa, in which case I’m a little more sympathetic, but seriously, it’s probably still your fault, especially if you’re one of those assholes who scorns Internet dating. Whenever I hear some fat chick say, “I have no idea why I’m alone!”, I want to go through a laundry list for her, because it’s always so obvious. Even the guys who are willing to look past your weight can’t deal with your jacked-up face, your total lack of humor, your junior high vocabulary, and your skank clothes.

For instance, not a single one of the women in the two episodes of “More to Love” I’ve watched has said something funny. In fact, when Luke asks each of them in turn if they’ll wear the ring that signifies their staying on the show another week, each of them in turn says, “Of course.” I’ve been waiting for even just one of them to say “bitch, please” or fake like they don’t want it only to throw their arms around him and snatch it out of his hands a second later, but they’re all so worried about losing their “one” chance for “true” love that all behave like robots. Whiny, sobbing robots.

My boyfriend called the show depressing, but I really delight in watching these pathetic women mope around. None of them are actually the least bit interested in this guy specifically, as far as I can tell, and are only interested in him being interested in them. And he’s too pleased with the opportunity to grope 20 fatties to care. I mean, MAYBE the producers are hiding the parts where Luke and the ladies have deep, meaningful conversation about politics and religion, but it seems like the most intimate information the group has about Luke is the name of his dog.

I had a long-distance relationship like this once: the guy would want to talk about how interested he was in the sinking of the Titanic every single time he called me–I mean, he really, really loved the Titanic–and I just wanted to talk about how in love we were. But I realized I was using him, whereas these girls are planning their weddings.

And the worst part is that they make absolutely none of this secret to him. They tell him that they’d pursue their music careers if only they had better images. They tell him that they’re virgins. They tell him, “You’re my first second date.” And he uses these confidings as teachable moments where he gets to build their self-confidence by calling them sexy and telling them to believe in themselves. And they cry.

It’s pretty clear that in the end, Luke’s going to pick the thinnest/prettiest girl in the house regardless of her personality, and all the other girls who were using his choosing her as sole proof that there’s hope for fat girls are going to kill themselves.

I finally asked my boyfriend why I’ve been able to find love when these women haven’t, and he said, “Because you’re not psychotic.” Win.

(Also check out Noel’s thoughts on the show.)


  1. Noel says:

    I don’t take back what I wrote, and I still mean it, but your post is making me really want to watch the show. Especially since all my other trash t.v. is not on right now. But I will stay strong and boycott this show!

    Plus NYC Prep is way better. I mean whiny rich kids that “wear tight pants and say darling” (my all-time favorite line)…what’s not to love?

    • You may boycott it now, but we both know you’re going to buy the season on DVD when it comes out. And a backup copy just in case one of the discs gets scratched. It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.

      I love “NYC Prep” so much, too. They have to have a second season, right? I hope P.C. gets his own spinoff show in LA a la “The Hills”.

  2. Serial says:

    Can I post this on Datingisweird? I specifically want to pull your point about “If you’re single–if you’re perpetually single–and you don’t want to be, there’s something wrong with you.”

    I think that’ll get a conversation going …. I was going to be all, “Hey! There is not!” Then I had to remind myself that having been single for a total of less than a year out of the last 10 does not equal “perpetually single” and so you obviously weren’t talking about me.

    • Oh, no, this post was actually a passive-aggressive attack aimed specifically at you.

      I’m a liiiiiiiittle scared of the datingisweird.com readers (and probably even moreso the writers), but hey, I knew what I was getting into when I said that, so go for it. But if anyone goes for my jugular, promise you’ll be ready with a turtleneck.

  3. Serial says:

    You should be afraid of DIW readers. They’re MEAN. Have you seen my personal, anonymous hater?

    The thing s/he doesn’t seem to get is that even negative comments are still comments, and I lourve all the attention.

    And I promise I’ll help daub your wounds if they hurt you. You know, insomuch as I can through the innerwebs from Oregon.

    • What? No. I just caught up on the last four posts that hadn’t read yet, but I don’t see any anonymous hating. I see plenty of anonymous, but it doesn’t seem hateful.

      I’m pretty jealous. The only really negative comment I’ve ever gotten was something about how my snatch smells like shit, but it was on my MGMT entry, so I figured someone just wasn’t a fan.

      • Serial says:

        Yeah, the anonymous hating has mellowed a little bit in the last couple of weeks. Someone thinks Serial is paranoid, egocentric, a terrible writer, and basically a giant turd floating in the internet pool.

        Wait until there’s a new Dear Serial. The Serial hater extra-hates those posts. Can’t imagine anyone less qualified to give advice. (Apparently they missed the memo on that being the point of the Dear Serial column …)

  4. megan says:

    i love this. i couldn’t have said it better. i seriously loooove that show because it makes me giggle every time one of them cries. i am in the same boat as you: by no means am i thin [though, i’m not a huge fatty], and i’ve always been able to find love. i mean, it hasn’t always been the grandest of love, but i’ve had it. and i have it now.

    but seriously, two things. that girl who’s a virgin and went on her first second date with him and was like, “pastabilities, that’s what i see from where we’re sitting. endless possibilities.” wtf? and number two, that stupid girl who was like, “omg, do you know how old that woman is, old enough to be your MOTHER. doesn’t that BOTHER you?” i would’ve voted her off immediately!

    • I totally agree about the “she’s old enough to be your mom” girl, and her terrible accent only added to it. Although I know you’re surrounded by that sort of accent, so maybe it doesn’t bother you as much. How about Kristian? Definitely one of the best reality show characters ever in my book.

      Also, OMG, you must not have had any carbs today, because you totally said pastabilities. CRACKED ME UP.

  5. cow says:

    Sounds like I would almost like the show, except crying disgusts me.

  6. Kelly says:

    This is literally my favorite thing you’ve ever written.


  7. anne says:

    I love this trainwreck and the sobbing, slightly hysterical “girls” on it.

    Luke constantly calls them girls and it drives me nuts. Some of the women are in their 30s and as my darling husband mentioned, “all shop in the WOMENS sections.” Hardy har har.

    • I usually stick to women when I respect the people I’m talking about or chicks, broads, sluts, and whores when I don’t.

      But these seriously are girls to me. They’re so immature and . . . underdeveloped. Except in the chestular area, ifyougetmydrift.

      I think I like your husband, though.

      • anne says:

        Maybe Luke is just constantly referring to the “girls” on the ladies’ chests?

        Classy synecdoche for the win!

  8. Tracey says:

    After finally watching some of it, I have to agree with Kamran that it’s a depressing show. Addictive, yes. But still depressing. Although, I find just about all reality show dating show contestants depressing.

    Seriously, could you ever imagine me on one of those shows? As much as I like attention from boys, I would lose complete interest in the guy the second there was any competition. If he even entertained the notion of being interested in someone else, I would walk away so fast and find myself someone who only cares about me.

    • Yeah, actually, you (and maybe I) would be the worst reality show participants ever. Can you imagine us screaming every time we saw Tyra or hooking up with everyone in the “Big Brother” house or pulling some poor girl’s hair on “Real World”? Although, maybe something animalistic kicks in when the TV cameras are around, and you can’t even help doing what they want you to.

      • Tracey says:

        Yeah, I can imagine those girls get all swept up in the immediate subculture of what they’re involved in and just lose themselves entirely. But it’s still weird.

  9. Sandy says:

    I’m 30 years old, a bit of a tub, and would not, in all the future of humanity ever ever EVER go on that show. Nor would I bare my upper arms like that on television. But that’s because I have some dignity (the arms part, not the show). (Okay, the show part too.) I’m in a dating desert, mostly because I’m in love with someone who refuses to date me because he thinks he’s too old for me (seriously, I cannot address this on my own blog because he has access, and I cannot appear to be as psychotic about it as I actually am). (I swear, I’m not this psychotic in general about guys, but I have every right in the world on this one.) But my point in starting this is that there is love out there, even for the fatties among us, and it almost positively does not come from reality shows, and it DEFINITELY positively doesn’t come from that douchebag. I wouldn’t give that guy the time of day under any circumstances. I wonder what casting for this show was like, because these women are just like the women on every other reality show like this, except there are about a kajillion more of them (to love). See what I did there?

    • Serial says:

      Um, sandy, you know you can write to your little heart’s content over on datingisweird.com. If you’re afraid of our readers, I could even slip the editor a fiver to get them to moderate the mean ones … ? eh? Eh?

  10. I saw a 30 second clip of the show at some point this weekend, and OMG.

    Oh I would never actually watch the show.
    Hell… I wouldn’t watch a reality shows with Hot Ass Skanks with lots of Ass & Tits falling out all over the place….let alone watch a show about unattractive overweight folks.

    In the clip I saw they were all on a beach and 3 big ass chicks (who were all in huge beach dresses) started rubbing bacon grease, Crisco or somethin’ on the dude who had his shirt off and he was even bigger then they were. Just Nasty. It took about 4 hours after seeing that clip before I got my appetite back!