My Body Resembles a 1950s Hairstyle

Filed under stuff i like

I don’t know if I can fully express my love for beauty products. I’m, like, the least-girly of anyone I know–I have no idea how to apply foundation, and I couldn’t pluck my eyebrows if I tried–but there’s almost nothing I like more than buying lotion, lip gloss, and body wash. I like it to the point that I can try a product, totally hate it, break out in hives or contract HIV, and still buy it in another scent or flavor just in case.

Naturally, this means that I’m a sucker for anything new I see. Nevermind that being new likely means it’s not been tested on enough humans for everyone to find out that it causes cancer. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of the new Vaseline Cocoa Butter Vitalizing Gel Body Oil, but the thought of that gel inevitably hardening underneath my fingernails bothers me. But yesterday, while browsing the aisles of CVS, I found this, the CVS Continuous Spray Cocoa Butter Body Oil Dry-Touch:

I tried it for the first time this morning, and it’s amazing. It glides on as if it was hairspray, people. And it smells like cotton candy, according to Dr. Boyfriend. It is not, however, dry touch. Maybe I just used too much, but there’s still a wet ring of it around the base of my neck. Not that I’m complaining, because I keep messing with it and making everything on my desk smell like cotton candy.

Actually, come to think of it, this would be a great way to repel creepy men in the subway: the more I resemble an oil slick, the grosser it is to rub up against me.


  1. Kelly says:

    Katie, it’s crazy all the s–t we have in common.

    I, too, am wild for beauty products. As I’m sure you know (since I’ve gone on and on about it to the point of utter boredom on my own blog), I have an obsession with all things smelly-nicey. I must continually remind myself that I am NOT rich and therefore CANNOT AFFORD $250 perfume, and if I buy said perfume I will STARVE TO DEATH.

    So to console myself, I’m running out right away to buy some of this cocoa-cotton-candy-spray stuff.

    • I’m never bored by smelly-nicey goings-on. I’m not girly enough to have a desire for $250 perfume, but $5 body spray reeeeeally interests me. Luckily, Kamran keeps me stocked in Chanel, likely for his own nose’s good.

      You will not regret this purchase. I just hope you don’t own a white couch, ’cause I couldn’t sit down for ten minutes after using it.

  2. Jack says:

    I’m pretty sure it actually is just cotton candy in spray form. I think you should spray a bunch in your mouth and see how it tastes.

  3. As the Manly Man that I am; I’ve been using the Vaseline Cocoa Butter Vitalizing Gel Body Oil for about a year now.

  4. i WANT that. now. you are forcing me to leave work, drive 1.3 miles to the cvs and purchase the product. my leg skin is flaking and peeling off (gross, no?) and i need to be cocoa buttered pronto.


    • I feel like you’re my neighbor, but the idea that you have to drive MORE THAN A MILE to get to a CVS is sort of hilarious.

      But yeah, bring that cocoa butter over to Kamran’s, and we’ll lube those legs up.

  5. Noel says:

    I’m confused by the super-long name. Isn’t “Body Oil” followed by “Dry Touch” kind of an oxymoron? Or am I thinking about this too hard? Probably the latter…

    • Yeah, I found it pretty disconcerting, too. Total oxymoron. Plus, the nozzle’s really difficult to press down, so it’s not actually continuous spray at all. Not to undermine its awesomeness!

  6. Kim says:

    I’m buying this immediately, wow. This lady can’t keep up her Chanel habit, and has no Dr. Boyfriend to do it for her, so…

    And the Lush solid body perfumes I initially investigated proved to be to hippie. Like I was confusing people, apparently.

    How the hell can it be dry-touch and oil, though?