The One That Got Away

Filed under bigtime celebrity, jobby jobby job job, living in new york is neat

I was reading in You Don’t Know Us But . . . this morning that the NBC drama “Kings” was canceled, which probably means nothing to anyone but me but means enough to me to make up for everyone else.

Did I tell you that I was asked to be in that show? Before I had even heard of it, I was called on a Friday afternoon by a casting director and asked to play the part of the mayor’s wife at a shooting in Brooklyn on the following Monday. At the time, I had just started working for the then-president of my company and was so concerned about looking diligent and not skipping work that I decided to politely decline the offer. Because I am an idiot who thinks it’s not cool to actively try to become an actress.

When the ads for the show started appearing all over New York City this spring,

I cringed every time I saw one. I blamed Kamran for everything, really, since when I told him that I’d turned the part down, he Google chatted to me, “Oh honey, you have all kinds of talent and all kinds of opportunities. And you’ve already done a FAMOUS TV show and a major motion picture, so you’ve already cemented your bragging rights, too. I wouldn’t sweat this one little fish.” So instead of calling the casting director right back like I felt I should to say, “Nevermind! I’ve cleared my schedule, and I’m ready for my close-up!”, I just went about my business of conference calls and spreadsheets. (And by that, I of course mean updating my blog and sniffing the Sharpies.)

I never actually watched the show, because naturally I wanted it to fail miserably. The worst possible situation would’ve been for me to not have appeared in it and for it to have become a huge hit. And since I never watched it, I have no idea what the mayor’s wife’s role actually was, but to this day, I swear in my mind that it was a major part with a huge amount of lines and extravagant costumes.

But now the show’s canceled. Just like the show I was actually in. Coincidence?


  1. Tracey says:

    I’m confused by the poster. For some strange reason, I thought this show was set in medieval times, and I imagined your would-be character as a corseted blushing bride. I apparently didn’t remember your husband being the “mayor”.

    • I got the idea that it was based on the story of King David in the Bible but was adapted for the modern day to include fewer beards and more sex.

      My “costume” would’ve been a black dress and black heels, but maybe I would’ve put a corset on underneath just for you.

  2. spaghedeity says:




    Also, I haven’t been following this acting career of yours as close I want to. So, uh, what are the names of the shows/movie? Are there clips on YouTube? Why haven’t you posted about this? When was the last time you missed an opportunity to brag about something?

    • When they called me about the part, the IMDB page was a shell, so I had no idea who would even be involved in the project. Had the Mac Attack been listed, I obviously would’ve quit my job then and there to show up for the shooting the following Monday.

      I was an extra in the Meryl Streep film Julie & Julia that’s coming out later this year. There were about three entries in my LJ detailing how I got the job, but then I never really wrote about the job itself, because I’m lazy and always fail to write about the important stuff. I was also an extra in two episodes of the Brooke Shields NBC drama thing “Lipstick Jungle”, which I’ve heard isn’t being brought back this season. I don’t even know if my scenes will be used in Julie & Julia, but I have recordings of myself in “Lipstick Jungle” that I really should rub all over my blog.

      And honestly, when was the last time? I guess I was trying to play it humble for once.

  3. Kelly says:

    “And by that, I of course mean updating my blog and sniffing the Sharpies.” Phrases like this are the reason you will end up rich and famous and I will end up bragging that you used to comment on my blog all the time before you got rich and famous and began to think of me as one of the Filthy Commoners.

    Come to think of it, you may think of me as one of the Filthy Commoners NOW, but you still have time to comment on Bachelor Girl as you are not yet engaged in endless interviews, press conferences and the like.

    Did Kings ever air? Because I swear I’ve never heard of it.

    • I’ll never get rich and famous, because instead of writing my life story like any motivated person would do, I seriously am sniffing Sharpies in my downtime. Or playing the office’s Nintendo Wii, which is basically the same thing.

      OMG, you just helped me find the most amazing thing. So, I was commenting to say I love you, you’re perfect, don’t ever change, etc., when I realized it’s an Amy Rigby song lyric. So then I went to YouTube to look up the song and found this, which is apparently a collaboration between her and Wreckless Eric, who did this, which I think is one of the best songs ever. And there you have it.

      It did air. On Sunday nights, I think, right before “Celebrity Apprentice” so people like me would get antsy for their Joan Rivers fix, tune in to NBC early, and accidentally watch the show.

  4. Kim says:

    What what what! What! Okay, coherency not so much apparently, as I try to reply to this a month late. I…yeah, I have nothing. It was only sort of my greatest ambition to even stumble upon Kings filming and YOU COULD HAVE BEEN IN IT?! So much more jealous of you than I already was, wow. Also I need to catch up on your blog so much.