Utica Ave. Panhandler Screwdrives Cop, and I Rethink My Charitable Subway Givings

Filed under fun times on the subway, living in new york sucks so hard

A couple months back, Dr. Boyfriend and I were headed downtown on the M15 bus, which is perpetually crowded during going-out times despite it being articulated, meaning that’s it’s hooked to a second bus with this accordion-like segment to make it doubly long. The entire back row of the second half happened to look empty, though, so I made my way back and sat down.

Only upon sitting, I noticed a transient-looking fellow with wild hair and ripped clothes lying across half of the row, but I decided to play it cool. Because as I told you, I try not to overreact about homeless and obviously insane people like most people do. But Kamran took one look at the guy and made me move, mouthing to me as he pulled my arm, What are you thinking?! What I was thinking was that no one pulls any kind of crazy killing shenanigans on public transportation. Because evidently things like the Canada Greyhound beheading only stick with me for a day or two.

But then this crazy panhandler had to go and stab a cop of all people in a subway station. And now every time I tip a mariachi band on the subway, I’m going to wonder if they’re concealing sharpened screwdrivers in the pockets of their ponchos.

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4 Comments

  1. natalie says:

    i think part of the thrill of living in new york is the fact that your life may be snuffed out at any given moment. not only that–but the method of death is usually pretty newsworthy. three cheers for nyc.

    • Yeah, when I die, I want it to be because someone hid out in my apartment until I got home, tied me up in the bathtub, and tortured me for eight hours with the original cast recording of Les Miserables. That sort of thing doesn’t happen in Ohio.

  2. Kelly says:

    I think it has to do with the fact that we grew up in the sticks, but you and I both have an inherent (though erronous) faith in humanity’s ability to behave itself in public. It’s not that we’re so naive as to think crazy, homicidal people don’t exist, it’s just that we come from places where crazy, homicidal people have good manners.

    • I’m also under the impression that crazy people still understand who’s worth shiving, and who’s a good girl from Ohio. If I respect them, they’ll respect me, right?

      WRONG!