Eruption on the M15

Filed under all of my friends are prettier than i am, funner times on the bus, it's fun to be fat, music is my boyfriend, my uber-confrontational personality, par-tay

I was riding the M15 up from the East Village after a Friday night of karaoke classics at my favorite place to watch my friends make fools of themselves, Sing-Sing, when at a stop near 34th Street, a man stood up from his seat and began yelling at the person behind him, seemingly out of nowhere. This is precisely what I heard:

“You want to step out?! You want to step out?! You’re not so clean! Your butt is dirty! Asshole!”

He was a stubby guy with a backpack and the leftovers of an Asian accent, and his victim was a white-haired, cane-holding black gentleman who didn’t seem to notice that he’d just been given a verbal beat-down. Now to be fair, I was in the back of the bus behind a guy who was inexplicably grunting at ten-second intervals, but I’m positive that’s what the yeller yelled. How he knew anything about his fellow rider’s butt I’m less sure of.

He strutted off the bus with an air of accomplishment, and we were all left to wonder what the old man could’ve possibly said to rile him up.

(Posted on Examiner, which pays me for your visits (hint, hint))

And because I can’t resist:


Steven and Emily singing (or, you know, not singing in this photo) a romantic duet
of Paula Abdul’s “Opposites Attract”


Nik and Charles enjoying Jeff’s rendition of “Stayin’ Alive”


Roxanne showing her Jamaican roots with some Bob Marley, which earned her the eye
of the one other Jamaican dude who sings karaoke in NYC.


Adam unabashedly doing the robot while Steven gets DOWN.

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11 Comments

  1. thickcrust says:

    I had a crazy transit encounter that night too! Kelley, her sister and niece met me at Sing-Sing, and we took the train home.

    On the ride I was retelling the story of the homeless woman who accosted me on my way TO Sing-Sing (yeah, seriously). As I was telling the story I noticed a man sitting in front of me who appeared to be listening to my story. I decided to say something that would get his attention so, of course, I started to talk about “getting shanked by a homeless woman and getting infected by Hepatitis A, B and C.”

    The man started talking to me as if he had been a part of the conversation all long. The conversation then became a sort of cross examination where this stranger was the witness and I was the attorney. The stranger felt that it was highly unlikely that a homeless woman would want to knife me, much less infect me with Hepatitis. It was a harmless conversation, but when he reached his stop and was exiting the train, he yelled at me “Why don’t you shut the fuck up??!!”

    That cracked us all up. Once the door closed and we were safely separated from him.

    • I love the idea that when you launched into the part about the shanking, Kelley and the other ladies knew to sit back, not say a word, and enjoy the ride.

      I’m amazed that you wanted to bring him into the conversation, though. Nothing infuriates me more than people looking over my shoulder when I’m playing my DS or watching my iPodded episodes of “Lost”, and the only time I remember actually being happy that everyone was paying attention to my shit in the subway was when Steven Losie was explaining to me that gay men are incapable of having monogamous relationships, and half of the train was looking at us.

      • I’m not surprised that Adam invited the person to talk, because it takes a half crazed person to converse with Adam.

        Amazing that Steven had such deep insight into the gay man’s world that quite possible only an insider could have.

  2. it looks like you and your friends have an awful lot of fun…i want to go out and sing with you! but i won’t take the bus…that’s for damn sure. :)

  3. Sonya says:

    I am sooo sad I missed you that night *sniff

    • I know! I had no idea you were coming, or I would’ve told Kamran to can it on the texts, IMs, and phone calls begging me to come home. Did you guys just happen to stop by, or did Beth invite you?

      • I must have been in a time warp because one moment Adam & Sonya were there and the next we were tearing it up in the private room singing Aerosmith.
        I don’t even remember seeing Adam, Anthony or Sonya leave.

        By the way if you send me those special pics I promise to post them on my blog with special commentary.

        Um, and before anyone asks; WTF was I supposed to do???
        She wasn’t putting enough feeling into it. Who sings Prince’s “Darling Nikki” without putting it all on the line? Yeah I did it… I got on the table and did the whole air-hump scene from Purple Rain. Don’t hate ’cause I can pull it off!

        If you don’t own a copy of the DVD movie and 2 copies of the soundtrack like I do here it is (fast forward to the 2 minute mark)

  4. Tracey says:

    I LOVE how you left the word “asshole” out of the Examiner post. Will you get fired there for obscenity?

    • I thought about going with the traditional a**hole, but after getting an e-mail from my channel manager when I used the word assholiest, I figured I’d play it entirely safe and not give him a reason to yell at me for at least another month.

  5. Sonya says:

    It was an accident of sorts. We were trying to find something to do so I texted Emily, we decided to go to karaoke and when I got there I proceeded to act like an idiot all surprised and excited to see everyone. Emily apparently had texted me the location but I did not check the text before I got there.. so I was all like OMG, soo nice to see you, I can’t believe your here*jumping with big smiles*, and she was thinking ummmm I just texted, why are you so surprised you idiot!! hahaha